My husband found out about my affair 2 weeks ago, left me and filed for divorce. We have been married over 12 years. I have never thought in a million years that I would be in this nightmare.

I do not know what to do? I want my husband and have no feelings at all for the OM.

Has anyone ever been in this situation? Did the spouse ever come around. Please advise. He won't even take my calls.

When/ how long was the affair?

How did he find out?
To be honest with you, what did you expect from him after he found out he had been replaced. He has every right to react the way he did, who knows, maybe he just needs time to sort through everything and he'll come around.

Look for posts from other people who have been betrayed like this, I don't think you will find one that can explain how it feels, how much it hurts. Having an affair with someone and then telling your WS that it didn't mean anything...that's a very selfish thing to do.

I'm here to help but it frustrates me that people do things like that.

There's a song that says "a moment of pain for a lifetime of pleasure" for people who betray their spouse like this it's "a moment of pleasure for a lifetime of pain"

I would say, let him be for a while, don't call him, don't talk to him or anything. He needs to be away from you for a while and if you keep calling him, it will just agrivate him more. It's up to him to figure out if he wants to save the marriage and if he comes around and wants to make things work, you better do everything in your power to make it up to him. I know what he's going through, I'm there too.

Welcome to MB- I don't want to scare you off here...But, if you have no feelings for OM - why, did you jeopardize your M??

Yu may want to post under the general section there is more traffic and get memebers that can help you possibly get your husband back..

It was over a period of 8 months 2 months than 4 1/2 off then restarted. I was nuts at the time and thought they I would not be in this for a million years.