Hi all I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE FOR A WHILE. I WAS HOPEING I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BUT WRONG. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 35 YEARS TO A GREAT GUY, I GUESS I WAS KIDDING MYSELF. THIS AFFAIR HE IS HAVING HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR TWO YEARS. I HAVE JUST ABOUT GIVEN UP. I HAVE TRIED MY ALL . I DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE AFFAIR ANYMORE. I TRY ENDLESSLY TO BE A GREAT WIFE AND TRY TO PLEASE HIM.
THE TROUBLE IS HE KEEPS TELLING ME THERE IS NO ONE ELSE AND HE LOVES ONLY ME. HE IS VERY GOOD AND SWEET AT TIMES. HE SAYS HE WANTS ONLY ME AND WANTS TO GROW OLD WITH ME. KISSES AND HUGS EVERYTHING THAT A WOMAN WOULD WANT. I KNOW HE IS ON CELL PHONE WITH OW EVERYDAY. I DON'T SEE HOW THEY SEE EACH OTHER AS HE DRIVES FOR THE POST OFFICE. SHE DOESN'T WORK FOR POST OFFICE. HE IS HOME ON TIME ALWAYS. I JUST DON'T GET IT. A PHONE CELL AFFAIR???????? FROM WHAT I HEAR THEY DO KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL. I'M REALLY IN NEED . I HAVE TRIED TO FIND OUT ABOUT HER AND ALL LEAD TO DEADEND. I AM SO SICK OF THIS GAME HE IS PLAYING I JUST WANT TO RUN. ANY HELP THANKS PANSY

Hi Pansy and welcome to MB, though it's unfortunate the situation that brought you here.

I would like to ask one thing, though... Please don't type all in caps - it makes it very hard to read your post.

I understand that you're upset, that's to be expected. I imagine that you have confronted your H and he has denied it? Do you have proof that you could confront him with? Do you have the cell phone records?

Pansy,

Have you thought about hiring a private detective? Get the irrefutable proof you need.....or find out once and for all what the nature of this relationship is. Have you ever thought about calling that number?

Hi Pansy,

I was wondering what happened to you. I really think that you should not confront him any further and try to get proof! From my own personal stupid mistake and never getting "proof".

I will check back later, have to get DS7 from school!

Keep reading here -do lots and lots of reading...

jls

Pansy,

I agree with the others. Until you have some proof of what you are actually dealing with, you are trying to work with a ghost of a relationship between your husband and this OW.

Yes, there are affairs that are strictly emotional. But if that is what this is, then your husband is spending all of his emotional energy on the OW and not on you. There is a gulf between you that needs to be bridged, and stopping his affair (emotional or otherwise) is the first step.

You need proof.

~ Snow

If you feel you have done everything you can to make yourself the more attractive choice (Plan A) and that has not stopped things, then you need to go to Plan B. His relationship with this OW is not OK and you deserve to have a marriage with only 2 people in it. You need to set boundaries and stick to them, this has been going on too long.

Take care.

CAT A Hi Thansk for trying to help . Yes i confronted him and he denied it. the cell phone is a pay as you go phone with no bills. how are you doing? thanks again for your time and help. pansy

Hi Pansy,

What about star's suggestion to hire a PI?

Cat