This is the second time WH has referred to our daughter by his OW's name! The first time was just prior to our separation and he was calling DD in the house to come but he called her the other name! I let him have it then and told him I thought it was insensitive.

Yesterday he called to leave a message about having DD ready to be picked up for her riding lesson and he said ""Just a reminder please have OWname ready to go..." then he realized what he said and then said " I am an idiot" ... silence for a couple of seconds then he hung up!

My thoughts? I think he is an idiot too! This came the same day as he requested I drop the amount of $ he is to give me over the summer, stating lower income until his commissions kick in, he doesn't want to touch his retirement savings, but at the same time he can make plans to fly to visit her during the summer in the states!So much for being too broke to spend time with his kids during the holidays! I was almost feeling bad for him regarding the $ until he left that message. I cannot afford to loose income, I bought a house based on what he is to give us. We have a legal agreement in place.

I had to dip into my retirement savings during the move, and I do not see why he cannot do the same!

I am torn between two choices, if I stick to my guns he will be very angry and it will not make him inclined to rethink our sitch, if I do then I our our home at risk, and I am afraid to do this for me and the kids.

How should I handle this sitch!

When you are protecting something precious, stick to your guns no matter how angry it may make someone who is trying to force you to relinquish something precious to you.

When there is a 2-choice dilemma involving giving up one of 2 precious things ... you "go to" your hierarchy of values, and choose the higher value to protect.

Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hi shelly,

My WH once called me the homewreckers name too,in an e-mail.I was of course furious and I told him to get his women straight. I also told him that if he ever mentioned that name or any reference to me again,in print or otherwise(we had already had a discussion that I will not accept that name anywhere or anytime in my home or elsewhere)
that I would cut off all communication,period.Now I don't recommend this to everyone but it was my choice and my decision at the time.

If your WH is *requesting to lower the $ amount per month(Summertime),refuse.Your WH may just have to accept that he has to cut back on monthly expenses,including flying to wherever to see the homewrecking OW if it means that YOUR KIDS ARE NOT AFFECTED financially.That is the priority.Of course the first palce they look to cut back on where the money goes is family and the spouse but I say no way.It will most likely come down to another review of the budgets and agreements you both made in the legal contract.Until and if that happens,you should not be the ones to suffer.Stand your ground.If you give an inch,he might take a mile.Be careful with how you proceed.

O

Sticking to your guns does not mean that you have to be mean about it. Be nice when you explain it to him. The children need a home and the support of BOTH their parents. It is necessary to stick to the original support agreement in order for them to be properly cared for.

If he takes that as an LB...maybe you need to rethink whether or not YOU want to be with such a selfish man.

JMHO
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