Hi gang,<BR>I miss my Wife. Simple as that. I used to look foreward to my days off from work because I could be at home..... comfortable with my Wife. Not now, If I had a choice I would be at work 7 days a week. I am in withdrawl.... From my Wife. <P>I put my wedding ring back on today. I don't know why. I think to remind me of my commitment to her and to still think of this as a marriage. The only reason I took it off in the first place was because she took hers off. Maybe if I hadn't taken it off I wouldn't have screwed up this screwed up situation. My Wife still hasn't shown me any positive signs. I can't rightly blame her though, her wound is still fresher than mine.<P>At some point the healing has to begin..... The question is when and will it be together. I am losing hope..... More so than I was before. Maybe because it just seems so hopeless at this point and that maybe it would be easier giving up and moving on. I just need a glimmer, Just a small glimmer to keep me positive. Until then, It's down in the dumps.<P>Thanks for reading my ramblings...... Just another day in the life of Rutger.... The Betrayed and Betrayer...... <P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P>

Oh, Rutger, I am so sorry. Have you guys talked at all? Or have you posted since "the night" and I just missed it?<P>I'm not so good at advice tonight, but I'll be praying for you. Never, ever give up. You know that.<P>Lori

Rutger dude - <P>Hey!! I know the dilemma with the ring. When I first learned of my W's unfaithfulness, my ring came off too. Since then, I tried it on once...thinking, like you, that I could just will myself to feel married still. Wearing it was just too painful and it came right back off after about 2 minutes.<P>I'm so sorry for your pain. You haven't posted much lately...I assume that's because you're trying to process what you did. Hey, we all make mistakes Rutger. Whereas I have always thought that I could never cheat, I'm feeling EXTREMELY vulnerable right now to having an affair. I am so lonely for companionship and intimacy right now. I've been sequestering myself in my house to minimize the risk. However, i don't see W's affair ending soon so I just pray for strength.<P>I now can see just how EASILY it would be to have an affair myself. Don't beat yourself up Rutger. Let me know when you need help, I'll be here for you. God bless you.

Lostva,<BR>We did talk one day for awhile and she was in full divorce mode.... She hasn't filed yet but I feel like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know your right... I won't give up but as you know it is hard to be this alone. Thank you for your caring<P>Shattered1,<BR>I glad I'm not the only ring nut here. I guess it is easier for me now that I cheated on her. I am not condoning what I did but for me right now I feel worse about what I have done than what she has done ... Does that make sense?? your right about me being a hermit... literally. I went up to the mountains for a full week and hid out. It was a good time to reflect. I wish I had your strength... Actually I did, but I mixed it with alcohol and that was it. So the moral.... Don't drink and be lonely. It's a nasty combination... Take care and thanks<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P>

HI Rutger, I have taken my ring off and put it on a few times...just not too sure how I feel about it sometimes. If I look at the moment, I can justify it by saying he does not even has his second one (lost it too), so why should I wear mine? But then again...if it was an expression of love, then why not wear it all the time since he loves me more now than when he gave it to me? I don't know-the ring thing is too sympbolic for me to think about sometimes!! <BR>Hope you are okay, think of you often. (((hugs))) cl

I'm not wearing my rings, either. H now knows that I want a $2800 set of rings, along with a new marriage proposal, and objected to spending that much on rings while we were at the counselor's. I told him that I picked out an expensive set of rings because I wanted something that would show the world (and all the potential OW out there!) that he loves and is committed to me. Also, knowing him, he would go to Wal-Mart and buy the cheapest set he could and expect me to be satisfied that he had done what I wanted him to do. (What I have now is a $100 CZ and a 10 carat band that he bought around the same time that he bought a $4000 4-wheeler for himself.) I also told him that I didn't want him to do this now--that I wanted this only if he wanted to do this for me. I told him that if he went out that day and bought them and proposed, I would turn him down. The look on his face when I said that was priceless! He was totally stunned!<BR> He and the counselor wanted to know why I wanted a new proposal, new rings, new wedding, and a totally new anniversary date.<BR>I told them that I don't feel married anymore; and, as far as I'm concerned, our marriage ended the minute he became "one" with another woman. I told them that I felt like we have just been "shacking up" for the past 13 years. I told my H that I no longer want to celebrate our original anniversary. Heck, he didn't really celebrate it anyway!!