Mily -- haven't heard from you in awhile. Are you still around this board? How are things going? How was the vacation? Update us when you get a chance.

Sorry <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> I've been a little busy at work since coming back from vacation and in top of that we have to do overtime!

Vacations:
They were great! I'm SO in love with him!
My dad let us 'in' since the first day. It took a couple of more days to my brother ... but my mom told me that he said that xH seemed changed for good and that we looked happy ...
OW ... man! she needs serious help! ... or an audition to a soap opera ... I'm sure she would get the job ... drama queen ... given that we were together all the time, I was only able to hear some of the messages before the shorted version from xH and he didn't save any of them ... which is good ... in one of them she 'thanked' him for the shi$$y mother's day that he gave her <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Then another one she described every little single thing that OC did during the day ... and at the end she said how much she missed him and that she wanted him to come back home ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
The day we came back, she left him four messages: shorted version from xH - she wants to know were she stands with him <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Then came the baptism (this past Sunday) with the pre-show and the after-show <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Pre-show - complains on why he was not helping, blah, blah, blah ... that he doesn't care about her or OC ... well, he told her that they are not a package, that he does want a relationship with OC but that that does not include her ...

Then on the day of the baptism ... I had a whole bench for DD and myself ... until DD saw her daddy ... then the bench was only for me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> I'm ok ... it felt a little weird but I did not feel uncomfortable ... I was a God's house ...
her parents were very nice to me and DD ... plus they are ministers of the Eucharist ...
I had told xH, you know that as soon as DD sees you, she is going to want to be with you ... exactly what happened ... so basically DD was with xH all the time while OW was carrying OC ...
how I know she had high expectations? she smiled to me when we got to church ... maybe I'm being paranoid, but the smile was more of - " I'm here with him and you are not"... then as I was watching xH actions and reactions with her, which was what I wanted to see the most ... she kept trying to get close to him and he kept moving to the end of the bench ... it was almost funny ... a little more and he would have been on the floor ... then on the "Our Father" prayer, he didn't take her hand ... good ... and on the giving of the peace, he went first to me ... her face was priceless and she didn't offer me the peace either ...
After-show - When the mass ended, I told xH to go outside with me to get DD things from my car to his car ... we were talking and smiling and I put my hand on his back ... when I hear DD calling OC's name ...OW was behind us ... again, her face was priceless ...
Then she made her dad wait until we got DD things to xH's car. so I kissed him and he hugged me back and I left with my head and chin very high ...
She didn't like it ... when they got to her house, she told him that it was a lack of respect from my part what I did ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> what!?!?!?!? no, no, no ... She is not going to make me feel that she is the wife and I'm the OW ... no, no ... to what xH said to her, well why you were waiting in the car? You are ruining your day, not us ...
And the piece-of-resistance, which was the only thing I did on purpose <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />... we bought OC some shirts from vacation, and I got him a picture frame and a jumper and a card for his baptism and signed the card "Daddy, Mily and DD"
That's where she got real mad and told him, you don't have to tell me anything else, she is saying everything with the card ... whatever OW, whatever ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Now, here is the part when I need feedback and comments from anyone that has done this before ...
When he started making comments about coming back, I suggested to him to go back home or move to another state ... he didn't want to ... but after everything that's been going on with OW and after these vacations ... while we were there he mentioned to move back to PR. We discuss the situation and for this next year we are going to do the arrangements (find jobs, house, etc) to move back next year, hopefully ... he said he realized that if we stay here, close to OW, we are not going to be happy ...

Have any of you had to move away because of OW/OC/A ?
Was it hard to do? Any regrets? Any thing that you would have done different?

Mily,
So glad to hear about the vacations and baptism. Sounds like things are going great! I am so happy for you.
Sorry but I don't have any experience on the moving stuff. Our sitch is a little different as we have lived in another state during pregnancy, birth and first 3 months of OC's life but are about to be moving back to TX -- still not confident that this will be a good move but we will see.

Beth

Beth,

Are you moving to be closer to OC ?

No -- my H job allowed him to have a temporary transfer but has denied a permenant one. Since I stay home w/ kids and his job is our only income we really don't have another option but to move back at this time. The town we lived in (where OW/OC live) is very small and most people there work for the same company as H. So we are moving closer to Houston to a larger town to allow a little space and not be completely trapped in the gossip about everything. OW is a former co-worker of H and so lots of people know. It stinks!

Today the custody papers from the court arrived in the mail and they sent me into a tail spin. It is so pathetic to me that this child is a set of papers at 3 months old -- I don't know if that sounded like I meant it. But what I meant was my kids were celebrated little humans at that age not pawns and someone that causes shame (not saying it is his fault, only saying the fact he exsists is somewhat shameful). ANYWAY -- I am trying to let it go and make it through this latest trigger and the emotions of it!