Hi. I have not been able to read posts or post myself lately. The phone calls have been continuing with OW calling my WH using *67. I had had enough. I was going to get a report of her cell phone bill,to try and get some concrete proof. But, why should I keep spending $$$ on these cheaters !!

So, today I called her. Had everything written down what I wanted to make sure and say. I called her house phone *67, so she would think it was my WH calling. I am sure he does the same. I started out by asking her if she had gotten the message that my H was not going to leave me. Told her he had told me to call her and see if I could get it across to her to stop calling him, that it was over. She denied big time, just like he does.

I told her that I had the proof of all her phone calls right in my hand. (I don't but she doesn't know that) I told her that is was over. Enough is enough. Then I said that if it didn't stop now and that if it wasn't over - she was going to wish that it was over. Well.... she went balistic. Screaming at me - are you threatening me ??? It got into a screaming match.

I could see the conversation was going nowhere but both of us screaming so I just slammed down the phone. Half a hour later WH called nice as pie. Asked what I had been doing - I told him I was outside watering the grass and the flowers.
We talked for awhile, he had to go quickly, then called back, nice again, then had to go. I am assumming that she was calling him. Of course, he can not say anything about it to me.

Perhaps he is relieved that I did it, who knows. But I sure do feel much better now. Perhaps I should not have done it, but I have had enough and I could not see a change in the near future.

Oh, she did ask me what my husband says when we talk about "this" and I told her that he tells me to just call her because it is defintely over, in fact tell her yourself and see if she will listen to you.

So that is what is going on with me. Please do not jump all over me. Like I said, I coudn't get any advice from y'all, because I could not log on. I did what I thought was needed and will wait to see what happens next.

Somehow I must talk with WH about this, (I do know this) but he is sooo into denying it to me.

I am thinking if she does or has called him since, she will probably blantly just use her own number. Good. For once I kinda stood up for myself. Perhaps in a wrong way to the wrong person, but hey, it is a start.

Carnation

I got the opportunity to confront my WH OW as well. I have to admit it gave me great satisfaction, so I know how it feels....just don't do it again! They can easily turn it around on you that you are harassing her. They see themselves as the victims already. Don't give them anymore ammunition. You had your say now you show them that she is the trash and you are all class.

Yes, I had my moment of satisfaction in confronting ow and her hearing from my fwh that he wanted his family over her, but boy, did she turn into a viper after that! She took little nuggets of truth I told her and used them to try to convince my H that I had cheated on him! So when they say do not communicate with the OP, they know what they are talking about. I wouldnt talk to ow again if my life depended on it. Not worth it and it accomplishes nothing.

Talking to ow is rarely if ever a good idea. The only time I think it is a possible good idea if ow has no idea wh is married. It gives ow and wh a reason to talk, bond together against you and makes you look as if you're unstable. It's as if you're trying to reason with a snake not to bite. Useless.

The fact that he called and asked what was going on proves that they are talking and he's not man enough to admit it. Did he really tell you to call her and tell her that it was over? Don't let him bait you in that way. Do you think he's enjoying the attention from both of you?

Instead of you being miserable, maybe he needs to feel the sting of his actions. Good for you for standing up for yourself but with her is not the place. She's inconsequential. He's the problem.

What feels like temporary satisfaction may not be good for the marriage long term ... during the highs and lows of the emotional rollercoaster it may be difficult to tell the difference between useful and simply thrill satisfying.

Try to avoid doing things that diminish your personal dignity ... like screaming at a pig "You're a PIG" ... because it is a pig.

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