Is there anyone out there that can HELP ME!

My husdand still will not speak with me. Any sn suggestions?

Is there any betrayed spouses out there? If you left, how long did it take to start communications again?

Percy,

A couple things I would like to share with as a B.S. This is just my opinion but just give him some time and space, you can't force him into anything. I can tell you from expierence that he is dying inside and needs to collect his thoughts. Maybe that's what he's doing, which is good so he doesn't make any rash decisions.

Best thing I can tell you is to just show him that you are willing to do everything possible to recover and start earning his trust. This will take a long time so try not to rush or push him.

But please keep posting and read as much as you can. There's tremendous amount of help along with great people and good intentions on helping you, but you must also help yourself. Are you in I/C yet?

Hi Percy

Discovering that a trusted spouse had an affair is on of the most traumatic things that can happen to most people. His discovery of your affair has all but destroyed him.

You have much work to do if you want to recover your marriage,Percy.

Firstly you should study. Read all the articles on this site and get 'surviving an affair'. You must understand what you did and what dynamics are like after affairs.

Also read THIS THREAD to get guidance from a recovering wayward spouse to start rebuilding from the damage of your affair.

Stay here Percy, and get all the help you can.

All blessings.

Percy,

I am both. In my first marriage I was a WS, now in my second I am a BS.

I just want to tell you that when I betrayed my first wife I never had the oppurtunity to try to fix things. She found out, and within an hour I found myself sitting in my vehicle with all my cloths and that was that. My wife moved forward with divorce as fast as possible, and within 9 months it was final.
Looking back I can't blame her. I destroyed her life. I spent a year on the verge of suicide for what I had done to her. I've never forgiven myself, and I never will. I thought the pain was going to kill me if I didn't resort to something else.
Now - 9 years later I am on the other side of the equation. I am the BS, and you know what? I didn't know what pain was before now.
Until you have had your very being violated by the person who is supposed to be the one you trust and love above all others you simply can't know what you have done to your husband.

I am trying to fix this marriage because I love my wife despite the horrible thing she has done to me. I know that no matter what - even if we live to be 100 and celebrate 60 years together; that celebration will be tainted by what she did.
I understand now more than I could have possibly before why my first wife went straight to divorce. Why should a BS want to stay with the animal who raped their soul?

I'm saying this not to be mean... not to discourage you from trying to save your marriage. I'm saying this so that you might see just a little... just a tiny fraction of the true damage that you have done to your husband. I'm saying this to help you understand the "why" if he chooses not to come back. And this is his choice. You made yours. It's his turn.

I sincerely wish you the best Percy, and again please don't take this as an attack on you.

Listen to the good folks here. They can and will help.