Hey All:
After nearly losing my best friend and confidant things finally seem like they are moving in the right direction.
A short blurb, my w and I have been married 13 years have 2 awesome kids and a friendship thats always been amazing.
We are high school sweethearts that have grown up together and were rushed into marriage at 19 & 18 due to pregnancy.
We've had great times and bad times, illness and alcoholism, affairs, financial difficuly and many triumphs we've fallenapart and rebuilt our marriage many times. I guess what I'm trying to say is hard work and never giving up the hope for the best has been our guides in this life. Never seeming to be on the same page in life with another but always trying to understand our differences in life.

Communication! Man how i screwed that up over and over again, judging, disrespecting and thinking I was somehow wiser ( I am 11 months older than her if age has anything to do with it.) lol. Missing the point and driving one home is what I seemed to do.

Amazing how it takes 2 to fight and how silly when only one is yelling.

Here's a tip of the hat to Dr. Harley.

Cheers
Toaste <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hi, I'm new to this board and I am in a marriage where we have been best friends, grew apart, took each other for granted and now we are trying to recover learn from our mistakes and grow. I have learned that we are different and don't always view things the same and communication is important. It's nice to read a post like yours it gives me hope. I still worry that things will go wrong again but I'm trying to get a handle. Your post made my day!!! I'm glad things are going good. Keep up the hard work!!

Hey Again:

Just to add some more to the pot. My w and I had seperated in March for a couple of weeks, well it was me who kicked her out and drove spikes into her heart never realising what I was doing to my own. It took 2 days to realise I royally messed things up always demanding that she be more and never accepting my own faults I maliciously ripped her soul apart trying to break her down to the level I felt I could work on her from, who the hell was I to smash an angel! She had an affair with a nieghbour years ago and I've been making her pay endlessly since, I had said I forgave her but somehow got caught up in my own righteousness, it felt good to be in control finally. What I didn't realise is that yes she had given me control but also she slowly withdrew in our marriage, now looking back i give her all the credit in the world for trying to stick it out with me. A person can only be put under your thumb for so long before they explode into unhappiness and start to wonder why they are with you. I took the fun and trust away from our friendship, I stole the soul of marriage and kept it for myself, I never gave her a second chance I only used her mistakes in my favor. If i Had been one of my daughter's boyfriends I think I would have killed me. I was misarable in my life and trying to justify it on her failures. So I begged for her to come home to let me prove that I have awoken from the slumber in hell I was in, she very timidly agreed to come home to try again, now it is her giving me a second chance and now I have to live with some of the same things I had done to her like the indecision of bieng home or not and whether or not she should trust me again with her feelings.

I have turned a new leaf with her and she has proven to be far better at forgivness than I. She has gone to england for a couple of weeks with my oldest daughter and her parents to see some family and has told me over the phone how sorry she was and how much she loves me and that she's so happy to be with me and can't wait to see me, in fact she can't even sleep at night in anticipation of returning home to see me. Oddly enough thats exactly how I feel about her!!! I am the luckiest man to have this woman and am blessed to have been able to see my faults in time to be able to rebuild my love with her.
Good luck to all in rebuilding their relashionships, my advice is to look deep within yourself and how you treat your better half, decide if your fair to them or bieng a dolt!! If your on the dolt side do everything in your power to change your behaviour cut out your tongue if need be to stop the fighting!

Cheers all