Hi. I am new to this forum. I guess I just wanted to vent to anyone that would listen even if I did not like the responses I would get back since I cannot vent to the ex-wife.

I have been married to my H now for 6 years and we have been together for 8 years, we have no children together. I just found out that his EW is to be divorced again from her CH. She sent my H an email letting him know that she will be returning her last name to his last name. She did not ask if he minded, she just told him what she was going to be doing. My H has 2 children with his EW. I could some what understand her using our last name if their children were smaller but, one is in college and the other is in middle school. So I cannot understand her reasoning for wanting to use my H's and my last name. I feel this is rude of her especially because he is married to me. I want to email or call her and let her know that I feel this is a slap in the face to me and it is rude of her but I probably will not do so, because I feel she would get off knowing it bothered me so much and I feel this is my H's place to at least let her know that we do not approve of this even though she may do it anyways. She sent this email about 2 weeks ago and I am still waiting on my H to say something to her. He continues to tell me he is thinking of what he is going to say to her and I feel this is an excuse. I have told him this also. I have so many thoughts going through my head on why he has not responded to her and some are not good ones. I know that he will not have a relationship with her but I am upset with him for not responding as soon as he got the email since he knew I needed this done for peace of mind if nothing else.

I know that it makes me look very insecure and probably even childish. I really should not care since he is married to me but I am very angry, and I want to take all this anger out on my H because she is doing this and probably more so because I just do not like her as a person.

Does anyone have any thoughts or comments on how to deal with this or if I should say something to the
EW since my H has yet to do so?

Thanks,

I could understand if the childrens last names were changed to his but I agree that it is not necessary for her to change her name.

I believe that your husband should also take care of this promptly out of respect for you.

Now before you get angry at him, have the two of you sat down and just had a heart to heart conversation?

I did sit down and tell my H that I felt the EW was being disrespectful to me as his CW, that I felt it is rude for the EW to just out of the blue state she was going to do this without even asking if at least he had a problem with it. I get more angry as days go by and nothing is said to the EW.

I am always the one to do most of the expressing in our relationship. My H hates conflict, drama and so on. I suppose this may be one reason he has not said anything to the EW.

I do know that the longer it takes my H to address this issue, the more anger I will have towards him and it scares me to think of how childish I may become towards him. Does this make sense?