I just wanted to vent. I have been so down since I got home from visiting my family over the holiday weekend. I've been crying for days. I just can't seem to get out of this frame of mind. Any advice????? I just feel so lonely. I'm also feeling very overwhelmed. I seriously want to run away and get away from everyone and everything. I just want to get away! I don't know how much more of all of this I can take. I was doing so good and now I'm down in the dumps again. Please....if anyone can offer some encouraging words I would appreciate it.

Tree,
a good friend of mine offered this to me recently......"This too shall pass." I had tears yesterday as it was my 9th anniversary. But I kept thinking about how "This too shall pass", and brighter days are ahead. And guess what? I made it through. And so will you. I woke up this morning, walked outside, and the birds were singing and the sky looked a little bluer. A gorgeous day. Now I am not walking around singing zippity doda or anything like that, but I know I have made it through a tough day and it will get better. I know it will get better for you as well. Just remember....."this too shall pass."



"the wheels are turning on the last train to Amsterdam"
Ray Wylie Hubbard

Ahhh Tree. You will get through this too. I know it probably doesn't help right now, but these sad times will get fewer and fewer, until you don't get sad at all. Trust me, it will happen.

Hey Tree,

You know its probably just another dip on the coaster! You'll be back up again soon enough. Keep chugging away.

Hows your son doing? What seems overwhelming right now?

Cheers,

Miker

if it helps any....I LOVE YOU TREE *glomps her with big hugs*

This is normal grief reaction.

Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

WasCrushedNTexas.....Thank you. I know in my heart this will all pass and I'll be happy again one day. Glad to hear you made it through your anniv. ok.

believer....I know I will get through this...I'm trying so hard. Thank you for always being there.

Miker...My son seems to be doing ok. I'm just having the worst time lately. I have my deposition coming up next month and I have so much paperwork to fill out. I just feel like I'm being raked over the coals and I haven't done anything wrong. My heart just aches! It just seems that my STBX's family all supports him and I don't understand how they can just turn their back on me. I've been in this family for 18 years. I just feel so lost and abandoned by everyone.

surviving in his wake.....HEY! Haven't heard from you in so long. Thank you so much....I love you too. When I read what you wrote I broke down. I haven't heard those words in so long. Thank you!!! Hope you are doing well also.

I would say try and find a hobby. I suggest any hobby that makes you feel better and takes time. I started working out the day my W bailed, and increased my routine when D-Day hit. I cannot tell you how much it makes me feel better. Not only does the workout take my funk away, but looking in the mirror and seeing me developing six pack and how good the rest of my body looks makes me feel great about myself.

Good luck and I wish you well.

hey tree...

i am having the same bouts of up and down, though the downs seem to be more frequent and stronger....like all this just happened yesterday....

everyones advice seems to be good...i am trying it out...just wanted you to know that you are not the only one so this must be normal....though i feel anything but normal...

everyone here is so good at offering support, i am so grateful i found these idiots...sorry everyone, i know i am not in idiotville right now....i wish i had something profound to say, anything that would help but i am at a loss and feeling very sad myself....

i miss cindy so much and my lost baby boys they consume my thoughts day in and day out....

anyway, hang in there...i am pulling for you too

Tree -

I can relate to the feeling of doing nothing wrong and the family supporting the WS. That is what happened to me, and I was extremely close to WH's whole family.

I think when that happened was the time I realized that it was time to move on. No matter what happened between WH and I, his family's behavior towards me was the final straw. I knew that things would never be the same again.

Paperwork? Blech! Yes the legal stuff is quite a pain in the rear. Just take it slow and listen to your lawyer and you'll do fine. You're right that you haven't done anything wrong but they'll sure try to spin it that way. Don't let it bother you, as you and everyone else know what the reality is.

As far as the inlaws go... Yes blood usually wins out. I'm sure they'll come to respect you and what you stand for at some point if you handle this with grace but for now prepare for them to be allies with the enemy.

Let your lawyer do the fighting though and try to detach yourself as much as you can emotionally from the process. It'll only drag you down. Its just paperwork and legal mumbo-jumbo. Give your lawyer what she needs and leave the crap that the other party is doing up to her.

Put your emotional energy into you son and yourself instead. Those are the people who need it!

You'll do fine. I'm sure of it!

Cheers,

Miker

Tree

You're:
Smart
Pretty
Funny
A great Mom
A Faithful wife , friend and daughter
A ferocious defender of your son.

Now tell me how anything that scumbag [email]b@stard[/email] does or has done can change any of that ?

Be sad, because that goes with the territory but DO NOT doubt yourself, girl.

STBXWH's affair was and remains NOTHING to do with you, and it is near certain that he will tire of croissants and hairy armpits soon and the fantasy will fail.

HIS affair
HIS decision
HIS consequences.

Tell me again how you are diminished by any of that ?

Tell C that OW skanky-croissants is 50% reponsible for all the messed up lives going on in his little world right now, and you tell him that its OK for him to not like her or speak with her.

And remember that you have been made SAD by all this, but you have not been diminished. GOD the nights we cried on each other Tree back in the day when we were BOTH messes.

Now look at us ? we all growd up momma ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Ready for the rest of our lives.

Value yourself tree. And make sure C knows the facts of the sit.


{{{{{tree}}}}}}

Hemidart, KA1, believer, Miker and Bob....
Thank you so much for responding. I'm feeling a little better now. This is all so hard and to know that I can come here and get support means so much to me.
You are ritht Bob....we have come a long way. I wish you the best always. I know I will get through this and be stronger. It's just getting through it that's the tough part.

Tree - Your WH is one I really don't understand. He didn't help you and your son during the hurricane. I will never forgive him for that.

I know that you said he was a good man at one time. What happened? All I know is that right now, you and your son are better off without him. The OW is really influencing him now. They will both get what they deserve.

Yes, I do agree with you on that....they will get what they deserve. I don't even know who he is anymore. The OW is definitely influencing him. She's got her death grip on him. He can thank her one day for being a part of destroying his family!
I am better off without him.

((((((((TREE))))))))))))))

I (as many others on this forum) can relate to how you are feeling...I keep riding the rollercoaster too. One day, I am super confident and then another I doubt a lot of things and fear being alone. Time will heal. I have made a point to be going out a lot more, mingling amongst friends rather than being at home alone which has helped.

Cheers,

Muels

Tree, like Sgt. Pepper said, you're grieving. The best way to grieve is haaaaaard.

The attitude of "I am SO DONE" and all that is a way of resisting the pain that you have to feel if you want to be well.

I'm done too, in a way, but I'm still profoundly sad and disappointed in my wife. I hope it ends soon. It's been a year for me. Only difference now is how quickly my moods shift. Rage, sorrow, GUILT even (for going to plan B and making the sparrow cry), all in a day's work.

GC

Oh sweetie...I think you need to come visit me...seriously....or maybe I should come down there to stick it to your jerk of a husband....like i say in my job...i love dealing with difficult people *evil grin*....the only one I get tired of is my WH....but yes you are dear to me.....get on IAM and message me sometime... I got some good stories to tell ya <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />....will make you smirk too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hang in there...for me I always feel worse with hormone fluxes. One day at a time. Just embrace the sorrow, it means you are alive and that one day in the near future you will be able to feel joy as compared to this. Just pick yourself up today and dust yourself off and face the world. Depression is anger turned inward. You did nothing wrong. We love you! Now go work out somewhere! The endorphins that a work out releases are great! (Before starting any exercise program, please consult your physician). Hugs Jersey Girl

Hi Tree - I was thinking about you the other day -wondering how you were doing... You know what - the overwhelming feeling - well who knows if it ever really truly goes away...I have still bad and good days - not so much about being with him or being without him but about being by myself.. and not knowing where I belong.. The good news on my end is that after almost four years of being togther - almost always sneaking around the two of them have broken up and low and behold he is trying to become involved in the day to day living of his kids... I don't know and something has come over me - knowing they are not together makes it easier for me to talk to him... So things are good in that respect but me I am down in the dumps... not really sure where I belong... but this to shall pass I am sure.. you just have to keep moving on....