http://www.askheartbeat.com/html/body_essay39.html

Not a real in-depth type of article, commentary really, but thought provoking none the less.

It's about givers and takers with an interesting twist.

Hope it interests somebody.

RebornMan

Any Comments?

i agree with the article....i will be damned if i know where i fall in it....makin me think though...thanks for sharing it

Could have been written about my XH and myself and our marriage. Kinda' spooky how much the article described us.

Oh my goodness! It's me! The Giver from Hades. Well, maybe not quite that bad, but I sure did every one of those things. All B. had to do was accuse me of being selfish and I let him have his way. I also figured if only I was different, did more, understood more, was more generous, more more more, I get what I needed in return. Nope, never.

Hopefully, I can do better at being a sharer, and receiving as well as giving. After all, even if it is more blessed to give than to receive, if we all refused to receive, where would that leave those who were trying to improve themselves by giving?

Hmmm - very interesting. Seems like two people who are sharers would work together without thinking about who was giving and who was taking, and neither would get the short end of the stick.

I like it. RM, how do you think you recognize a sharer (or realize when someone is NOT a sharer)?

Another thought .... what does it take for someone who has been hurt to be able to really share with another again?

I figured a few of us could Identify with what he was saying.

Deja, I wish there was some sort of detector we could buy, you know wave it over the other person and "WOOP, WOOP, WOOP! Run Away!"...

Not to be funny, but I get this sort of Deja Vu feeling after a couple dates (heck sometimes ONE date), like I've done this before, been with this type of person so run away, danger ahead.

After being with so many takers I guess I recognize the signs in a woman after all these years. At least I hope I do before it gets to serious.

I think the real test is...am I getting back what I'm giving, does it feel right, do the words coming out her mouth match her body language and actions, am I frustrated...I know if I am frustrated I'm with a taker.

GG,

I don't think there are "givers from hell"...lol...just givers hooked up with takers and users.
Your funny

RebornMan

I think the article is rather naive. Things, people are much more complex than just givers and takers (and sharers).

Although I will agree that there are some really selfish people out there. I used to have a big neon forehead that attracts them to me. (Bought "the patch" for that)

V.

Sunny,

I didn't see it as naive at all. While people are complex and different there are common characteristics that can be made simple to understand.

In the giver, taker, and sharer concept, I think what is being discussed is consistency.

I'm no expert but that is the way I see it. Do you "consistently" give? Take? Share?

They all come in many flavors of course, different packages, different styles...

But in the end you are either a giver, a taker, or a sharer no matter what box or package you come in.

Just my 2 cents, heck maybe a penny with inflation.

RebornMan

Yep, sign me up and give me the t-shirt.

Let's start a chapter of "Giver's Anon."

"My name is WAT and I'm a recovering Giver - now a Sharer."

Actually, I think I am. My SO - as of today (6/3/05) we've been together 1000 days - and I are doing a pretty dern good job as sharers. I've even learned to put the seat down. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

RM,

I'm consistently a giver and have been in predominantly giver/taker relationships. And I'll admit, it's true that eventually you throw in the towel at the thought that your expectation of getting something back will never be realized.

I'm so good at Giving that I only get the best Takers. The ones that could probably be diagnosed officially as narcissists.

I just think that describing the entire scenario so simplistically is an over-generalization of the issue and any nuances that exist.

V.