My story. I guess it all begins in November '04. My wife had an etopic pregnancy and had to get some shots which made her very ill. After about a month I started noticing a big change in her and we started to go to counselling together. I was told by the counsler to let her have her space, she needed it right now. It was hard for me to let go of her but I eventually new I had to. She started to go out every night as soon I as walked in the door. She was drinking alot and hanging out with friends who she wouldn't let me meet. This concerned me greatly. Then after a few weeks of this she stayed out all night till the next morning. I tried to deal with it, even though it was eating me up inside. Then the staying out all night started happening at lease one night every weekend. Sometimes she would call and let me know she was to drunk to drive and was staying at a friends, other times I wouldn't get a call. I suspected something was going on but could not prove anything.

Then about a month ago I put spyware on the computer and found text messages to his cell phone from her. So I confronted her and she said that his girlfriend was over the house that day and was sending the messages to him. She even told me that they did not even really like each other.

Then the weekend after the text messages, I found a very detailed e-mail to him. It was very discriptive, about sex, and what she was going to do when she left me. I did not tell her that I found this e-mail. I said something to one of her friends and she told me that she knew about the relationship and that I should call a lawyer, and hire a PI. So I did.

The PI really didn't get to much only that she was over his house for an extended period of time, and that when they were out they never did anything, not even hold hands. I did find her cell phone bill and 90% of the calls and text messages where to him.

So, two weeks ago I served her with the divorce papers. Over the past two weeks I have gone back and forth about the divorce. Should I do it or not? I am in love with her.

She told me nothing happened between them they where just friends. She has had a reason for everything that I have brought up. Although she did admit to lying to me about going over his house and that she was wrong for that.

Here are her reasons:

The e-mail was to find out if I had been cheating on her. She thought if I found it I wouldn't hide it as much. She also said that her and two of her girl friends wrote the e-mail.

The cell phone was about him and his girlfriend where having problems and she would talk to them both about it. My wife said that his ex-girlfriend took his phone for awhile to see what girls may be calling him. And my wife would talk to her.

The PI was wrong that most of the time other people where at his house at the same time and that the PI was confused about the people she was with. (This was proven to me twice, when I had shown up where she was and it was not him.)

Now she has done somethings to me over the past few weeks since she was served she had my cell cloned, gps put on my car, and had our phone tapped. She said it was to find out who I was talking to and where I was going. To see if I had a girlfriend, etc.

I have given her an out if she really does want to be with him I told her that I would(which I have) cancel the absolute divorce. And we could get a divorce for Irreconsilable differences and we would split everthing 50-50. She said she doesn't want to get divorced, she did nothing with him and that she loves and wants to be with only me. She even sold the sports car she purchased 3-months ago and changed her cell phone number so no one can call her.

I love her and want to put all this behind us. She has not admitted to anything. She swears nothing happened. I really want to believe her. Should I? It is a hard question to answer.

One more thing we made an agreement that we would never get divorced without talking to each other first about things. Which is a promise I broke. We also said that we would tell each other if we wanted to be with someone else and we would never cheat.

We have both broken each others trust. And the hurt with both of us is very deep. Do you think it is possible to get over all this, will we ever be able to trust each other fully again? Is there a way we can both build the trust in each other back?