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#1397453 06/03/05 05:21 PM
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I haven't posted much lately, so I decided to give an update. H and I are still in contact. I am 31 weeks pregnant. H and I had been getting along for the most part until last night. Supposedly he is not seeing OW anymore, but he still talks to her pretty frequently. H and I had agreed to a D. since Feb., but I can not file until after the baby is born and all my follow ups are complete which gives me 4 more months before I can file. H and I had been trying to get along for the baby's sake. He was wanting to be involved w/ everything to do w/ the baby.

I have been having a hard time w/ things. Even though he tells me he is not seeing OW it has been so hard to know that he is still talking to her. I feel like I am stuck in some ways because he has been trying to get some work done around here before the baby is born. He has been helping me financially, and with things around the house.

Last night we got in a big argument and he left to go to his apt. Today he called and said he is going to work on the house tomorrow. He wants me to leave while he is here working. I haven't decided if I will leave or not. Not because I don't trust him here, but because I just don't feel like I should have to go hang out somewhere so he can be here. But, then the alternative is that we may just stay here and argue.

He was just being such a jerk. He is not happy with the way things are in his life, and he was taking it out on me. I am pretty sure that him and OW were arguing and he got here in a bad mood. I'm not sure what they are arguing about.

Last edited by Wife30; 06/03/05 06:24 PM.

Married 5 years. Together almost 14 years. Age 30 DDay March 2004 OC Born June 2004 2nd Dday Feb 2005 My daughter was born 7/22/05.
Wife30 #1397454 06/03/05 05:53 PM
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I don't know what to say....except I am so sorry...
I hate when I see a bunch of views of my post but that no one replies....
I wouldn't leave if you didn't want to or had a place to go...hey, like shopping?! (always makes me feel better!) Just go in another room and refuse to argue. Sh*t happens but you don't have to take it!

BlueByU #1397455 06/04/05 10:12 PM
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I am really sorry about your situation.
My prayers are with you and your baby.
Concerning the whole having to leave your home because of his request. I wouldn't! It shows that though you two technically aren't together he still has a say so... some control in your life... and I wouldn't give him that satisfaction. Simply plant your feet firmly in the ground and mark your territory. That is your home. If he is that uncomfortable seeing you (perhaps because it makes him feel guilty, [censored], embarassed) whatever the case... (Like Larabell said) you can simply just go to another room.
What you two argue about could prove his feelings towards you. As to why he feels that he can't be in the same place as you. My H admitted his affair to me first and during that small period of time he couldn't bare to look at me and when he was face to face with me he just got angry because he couldn't bare to face the truth... Each man deals with his mistakes in different ways.
Most likely it's not you that he's upset about.

Good luck to you.
I hope that things work out for the best!
And remember, you are having his baby. You will always be connected to him. And from hearing that he wants all the involvement, he'll always feel endebted to you. Not the other way around. You hold the key. Don't let him walk all over you.

SoWorried #1397456 06/04/05 11:21 PM
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I didn't leave today, but he ended up having to help his brother w/ some stuff so he didn't come over anyway. He's working tonight.

We spoke briefly tonight and he apologized for his part in our argument.

OW is still asking to discuss being w/ him and he says that's not an option w/ what they've gone through recently.

We are getting along a little better today.


Married 5 years. Together almost 14 years. Age 30 DDay March 2004 OC Born June 2004 2nd Dday Feb 2005 My daughter was born 7/22/05.
Wife30 #1397457 06/04/05 11:30 PM
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I'm glad that you two are talking without arguement. Hopefully the next time you two are face to face there will be some kind of growth in your relationship whether it just be friendly or whatever.

Be strong.
Be safe.


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