As I think through all of this, busting them in the hotel with OMW seems like a pretty good idea. I gotta find some ground support. All of my family is in Texas.

I do not know the possibility of busting in and catching them in the act is feasable, unless we can get a key. I have tried to work through the logistics of that.

Should I contact OMW Monday and find out if she wants to drive up to the hotel on saturday? (hour and a half away - still have not heard yet that WW is going to be away for a day. Maybe she will have to "work to get a display going" or something.)

On the other hand - going to OMW and having her start the reaming process Monday seems good, too.


WW will not be receptive to confrontation. I need to expose to OMW first. WW feels totally entitled, so she might say it is none of my business.

WW emotionally divorced me 3 months or more before first affair. (about 1.5 yrs ago) This is one long, long, uphill road.

Mortar - very good advice. I need to get the attorney online. I have a field trip tomorrow morning. Can call att. after lunch.

GREAT information about kids and how the WW will respond. I am soaking this up.

I need to do some more letters, and hone them.

What should I expect about custody in CA?

Hi, found.

One more thing to add to your pile, make sure that you remove your trail from your computer while you are working through all this. Clean out the history file daily, change all of your passwords, etc. Make sure that you don't leave anything open that she might have a look at.

Also, make sure that you don't have "auto login" set for this site, and logout every time you leave the computer. Also clean out the 'browser cookies' daily.

Any documentation needs to be stored in a safe location AWAY FROM YOUR HOME. This is important. If you have a favorite hiding place, she very likely knows about it. Do you know where hers is? If you don't, find it and have a look.

The last thing you need is for her to catch wind of what you have planned.

All the best,
Gimble

Gimble - thanks! I use my notebook from work, and have become an expert at deleting the history file.
She uses a computer in the bedroom that I am the administrator on. I captured the password, and am making copies of files (found her sent files) as we speak. Do I really need to copy all of this??????????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I sure hope I am living with an alien. I long for the return of my wife.

Reading through her notes to him for the first time. Yea.

I will print it all in the next couple of days at work and keep it there.

Thanks for covering my tail!!!

Oh - and is'nt that sweet. Her password is his middle name.

Folks - my feelings are trying to edge in here. Pray for me.

Please.

Hi, found.

Look at it this way. Your wife is being very human right now. The problem is that she has shifted her moral base in order to accommodate her actions. That means that she will take you, the kids, other man's wife, and anyone else associated with the action, down with her.

That is why it is very important for you to back up, and disentangle yourself from the immediate action. You need to view and react to what is going on around you more like an interested observer, rather than a reactive spouse. Disengage from the drama, then you will be able to be the hero that your kids, and your wife, needs.

When you look at your wife, you can look at her with all the love in your heart, but see her for what she is, a dangerous addict. You may want to coddle her, but you would be doing her even more harm. What she needs, whether or not she knows it, is strength. Steel. Hard, but fair. Unyielding but purposeful. That is the role you must take on. You become the hero for your kids, and the lean, mean, affair busting machine for your wife.

At this point in your life, you have no one left to lie to but yourself, so you might as well face hell head on and get it done. ;-)

God bless,
Gimble

Gimble - thanks for the encouragement. Your words are very wise. I will heed them. God even sofly spoke the same thing to me this very morning. Then He spoke them through you. Very cool how He works.

Update - I would not put it past the WW and OM to try to meet at her office (she has to work on Sunday - her birthday) He arrives back sometime Sunday. I can monitor her hotmail, and possibly know of a rendesvous. Or they might just call each other. That would not help me any.

Maybe I just show up anyway - just to see if I get lucky catching OM getting lucky.

I might be able to show up with flowers and get the security guard to quietly let me into her office - with the shutter snapping! If no OM - I give her flowers and wish her a happy birthday! No suspicion!! IF OM - then it is exposed!!! I take the pics to OMW, and the ball is rolling!

Rub some wisdom on me, guys. Thanks for the support. I am pushed to the limit. I am always on the verge of tears. You guys are holding up my arms, and I do so appreciate it!!

Thank God for all of you!

Taking DD1 and classmates on a field trip this morning, so i will be back after lunch.

Pray for me.

What do you know about OM's wife? Do they have kids?

I know nothing. I have no common people to talk to unless I call other cast members.

They probably have grandkids!!

The fokker is 75 years old!!! WW turns 40 on saturday.

They have a sister in law that was visiting in may. If OMW will put me in contact with her, she might be useful.

NO WAY!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Maybe the meeting on the 18th ought to happen without interference. Your wife might kill him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, this is unexpected information - for me.

Were your wife's e-mails to him as juicy?

WAT

Yuck!

What is she thinking....oh yeah...she's not.

Well, I knew a very very attractive young lady once who was 26 and having an affair with a 69 year old guy...and know it was absolutely a PA. Both of them admitted it up front. Scary!!

Hi, found.

Quote:
======================
he fokker is 75 years old!!! WW turns 40 on saturday.
======================

Okay. So he has very likely been doing this for years. Regardless, I think that you need a high yield carpet bomb. This is opposite to what I said regarding if he has done this before. His age is a major factor.

With his age, he is likely not ashamed of his behavior at all. so, you threaten his money. You do that by telling other people with money. They may condone his behavior outwardly, but they will watch their money with him, and he knows this.

Expose just short of billboards. It is unlikely that his wife will be surprised that he is messing around. I don't think you can depend on her actions anymore.

All the best,
Gimble

Eeeiiieeewwww!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I sure DIDN'T need "that" mental Image. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Jeeezz, I was even hoping to get lucky tonight. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Forget it now, I'll just Read. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

<shiver>
Gives me the creeps!
Considering those messages he'd been sending.
<Yuck> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Didn't think I could feel worse for ya feela ....but I sure Do NOW!

Steal his VIAGRA. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I believe I just heard the last part of your call to Dr. W. Harley.

It sounded like he was saying the this A won't last. He encouraged you to try to plan a trip to take with your W instead of her going away with OM.

Can you tell us all of what he advised?

Darn it. I was just going to try to get him to buy some billboard space. Some of those billboards that have moving parts. Can you picture that???

Another thought would be to confront Mr. Taster-Geezer yourself if you could do it a non-physically threatening way. Just let him know that you are not a person to be messing around with and you can suggest that you can make this very expensive for him.

Others - what do you think?

WAT

WAT, this guy will have connections and can do more damage control with a single phone call than found could get past.

You tell everyone, and let the rumor mill kill his investors. Found's wife becomes too 'expensive' to him. He dumps her, does damage control and moves on.

Gimble

Yea, you're probably right.

Why are we assuming all of a sudden that he's got money? - just because he's old? Heck, I'm old and I don't have very much.

WAT

Hi, WAT.

The assumption is that whether or not he actually has money, he plays the part so that he can 'fund' his productions, whether he is a major or minor player, he is involved. How he handles situations and his success depends largely on what people that really do have money, think about him and his abilities to manage THEIR money.

There is no way to know for sure. It is an educated guess. I have known people his age with lots of money. You could pour all of them out of the same bucket.

If someone wants to exchange email with found, the right person with a name and city can do wonders on the internet regarding finding information on someone.

You could always plan the exposure to include but not depend on other man's wife.

I am not saying I am right, just that these things should be considered. I also want to see the exposure kill the affair DOE (dead on exposure) so that found has a chance at recovery with his twice unlucky wife.

All the best,
Gimble