FAR-
This is excellent news!
I didnt realize you were using keyloggers-- my husband asked if you were and I said I didn't know and he replied that you SHOULD. This really surprised me because its how I got his passwords and found ot about his affair. I always thought he held a bit of resentment about it, but now it appears to him its a strategy needed when someone is lying.

Hmmm, just talking to you and about you is helping me learn things about my hubby. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You now know she is in withdrawal, so act accordingly. Check out the 180s while you are at it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I think your plan with Harley is a good one. Sounds like the old man might be using the right brain.

Well - the withdrawal was short. WW and OM are back on speaking terms. They consider the misunderstanding about Saturday's plans their first "fight". How cute.

Hey Mojo Woman - ainchu spozed to be having a baby??? Oh yea, not till Sunday.

It is good to "see your voice", but I am not looking forward to you being de-comished for a few days. You gotta get Mr. Diva online. Sounds like he has some good input, plus he will need to keep us posted on the new soul.

I feel like exposing to OMW will be what is needed. I also feel like waiting a few days and logging WW's drinking activity (not holic style - but not safe to drive each eve. What if she were single mom, and needed to take a kid to the ER??)

Mortar - I bought the Dad's custody book. Will dig into it tonite.

I am in a holding pattern for now. Just gonna collect data.

I might shoot for busting the fantasy shortly before she leaves to spend a week with her mom. But then I would not be there for her, but it might be a good time to be apart for a week. I will take time off and keep our kids at home. Plus - our 19yo tennant watches the kids sometimes, and my parents want to come help a few days.

One idea that was given me is that I should confront OM and help him to understand the possibilities of exposure for him. I believe I would create an uncofortable (at best) situation for him in the theatre community, were I to expose him to his peers.

Seems to go against the not showing your cards thing, though.

Mortar - I am taking it slow. I so want to just get in the car and do exactly what you told me to do, but something is telling me to wait and stay low.

WW is PISSED! She only speaks to me what is required. No banter. But I got her a gift today, and put it in a nice bag, with a little card that says "I am so glad God put our lives together!" It is true.

Should I talk to her mom and see if she will encourage WW to re-consider the possibilities? (Yes, I know that blood runs thicker than mud. Her mom was married 6 times. Started off cheating on her pastor husband... hmmmmmm...)(I am NOT a pastor)

It is good to know that your husband, Mojo, likes the keylogger idea. I gotta buy it tomorrow - it is a 15 day trial. Last thing I need is her checking her hotmail, and getting a popup: "your 15 day trial of keylogger has expired!" Get him on here. Please. And thank you.

Oh - one other thing. WW has a friend at the hospital that has been hitting on her. They are chumming up. Kinda like she is keeping him in the cue. I do not know what is going on with it. I do know that she told him she was not yet divorced. But they are still very cordial.

Boy, is she lost.

Hi, found.

Quote:
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Well - the withdrawal was short. WW and OM are back on speaking terms. They consider the misunderstanding about Saturday's plans their first "fight". How cute.
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That's more like what I expected. I also don't think that the other man's wife is a threat anymore (if she ever was). He has done damage control, and neither one of them (your wife and other man) think you will expose. So, his confidence is back.

Found, I very highly doubt that this is other man's first affair. I would be surprised if it was less than number 20.

Please do get the keylogger program.

God bless,
Gimble

Oh - I HAVE the keylogger. I got the password. I have a copy of every email they have ever sent each other.

Now I have to pay for it, though. Only $19. What a bargain.

Gimble - thanks for your response. I appreciate your input.



What do you mean - do you think she is no good to expose to?

Standing by...

Hi, found.

What I mean is that Mr. Old Shoe has likely given his wife a plausible cover story about some 'crazy guy stalking me' and told her to watch out for you. That is pretty standard script.

I don't think that she would be surprised to learn that he is involved with someone else anyway. I feel sure that he has done this many times over the years.

Time will tell.

God bless,
Gimble

Who gave you that idea?

I strongly advise you NOT warn OM that you might expose him. Don't do this!

The reason, building on Gimble's thought, is that this would allow him to paint you as a stalker or some crazy guy after him in any way you can think of for something you need to blame on OM - thus disarming your credibility.

Exposure is best done in stealth mode. Without warning and out of the blue.

Prediction: you will eventually decide to expose to OM's W - possibly even on Steve's advice - and you'll regret not doing it sooner.

WAT

Found-I just read your very long story. Wow. I am so sorry you are going thru this. It sounds like your wife is a co dep. alcoholic. I would keep the records of her drinking. I would also agree that eventual exposure to the wife may be nec., but I like the idea of the OM scared that his wife might find out. He likely has too much vested in his marriage to give up his wife. Steve H. is the master, I think you are doing great. The trick will be to keep up your love for your wife thru this, she will need somewhere to become co dep. when the A fails. I believe that her insecurity with acting drove her into OM arms, so that she would be assured her part. Seems she bonds when she needs support. If she depends on you financially, then she may once again bond if you have the control. Same with the kids, if you have the power, she will be co dep. JMHO I think that OM is afraid for his wife (kids) to find out. I think that OMW may not care anymore as long as he doesn't rock her boat. If she thinks her H will leave her, the reaction might be different. Hang in there. You are doing all that you can, it is in her court. Hugs-Jersey Girl

By the way, worthatry is always right!

HA! Well that certainly is NOT true. Just ask my XW.........

WAT

IF you speak to the OMW, FAR, please hand her copies of the emails so she can't claim you are NUTS.

This does of course expose your source, but its not going to matter much once exposure begins.

Mr. Diva isn't interested in posting, but he says if you have a question I can ask him for you and he'll give his opinion. He really, really doesn't like message boards.

Baby is being stubborn and seems to want to stay put for now. Its ok though, gives me time to get the deep cleaning done in the house! We bought a videocamera yesterday- our first one, so once he arrives I can post some pics. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

So my son – 6 yrs old (a little me) – is making noises that his sister does not like. She is screaming at him to stop. Sis – 3.9 yrs old (a little W) – continues to scream at bro for making annoying noises. I ask her to go in the other room. She WILL NOT. I ask her to ask him to please stop. She WILL NOT. I ask bro to stop making noises. “Not until she says ‘would you PLEASE stop making noises’”. Sis, will you say please? “NO!!!!! STOP MAKING NOISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “la le la le lo lo lo lo” “STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!”

I close my new book (My Life), and look up and observe.

And see things so clearly. For a moment.

Have been out with the kids today.

I have intercepted comm that suggests a covert 8am meeting saturday morn.

I want to expose.

I am so afraid.

But like my old boss said during a season opening meeting about our attitudes about what we were being fed (cr@p), and the hours we were having to work:

"Strap on a pair and do your job. That is what will make the difference."

"Never miss an opportunity to do the right thing."

Of course, we were also chastised for using double entendre (in a Christian setting) - so we have always said since then - "Never miss an opportunity to strap on a pair of double entendres!"

Time to strap 'em on and do my job.

Leanin forward in the foxhole! I like it.

MM, YOU ROCK!


SIR!

I need you, man!

Its time to blow them out of the water. Go to the OM and let him know you have all the evidence needed to show his wife. Assuming she is his age and this not being her fault I would tell him end the affair and have NC or his wife and kids will hear it all. Let him know that with his last few years of life his kids/grandkids and wife will have one of two lasting memories of him 1) being a cheating piece of [email]sh@t[/email] or 2) and loving husband <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />, father and grandfather. Tell him to pick one!!!

Thank you for your post. With all due respect, I believe I will not confront him. I will go to Mrs. Taster. With irefutable evidence. I will get his kids names and addresses and write each one.

I need him to drop out, not slowly back out. He needs to need to stop communication. responding to his family to not destroy mine is the best way to assure that.

I know what to do. I am afraid I will loose my wife in doing it, but I will not gain her back if I do not.

Mortarman and the others have instructed me well. I know what to do. I just have to find my strap-ons. The extra large set.

You can do it, FAR.

I will be thinking of you all morning.

I will do it, but maybe not tomorrow morning. WW is out with God knows who tonite, and likely drinking. I think I might document another week of drinking, for custody purposes. She pretty much ties one on each evening these days. Poor woman, I can't really blame her. She has dug a deeeeeeep hole.

I think I will drop the nuke late next week, just before she goes to her mom's for a week or two.

Please pray in the morn, though. It will be a rough one for me. I will be garage sale-ing with the kids, or else I would take the camera and get pics of them smooching in the Von's parking lot. Be good evidence for Mrs. Taster (not that the complete email record is shabby) I think time is on my side, here.

I will say a prayer for a quick dilation Sunday morning. Is this #1?

Thanks, Mojo!

FAR,

Glad to hear you are stepping back.

Glad you are paying attention to your kids. Who would have thought you would be out garage selling when you could be confronting?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

You rock. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Prayers for you and kids. Praying for your wife too. Alcohol is the enemy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I know this. I have fought my fight with it the last 4 years. Always stayed away from it before. Have been thru hell and still struggle sometimes.

However, my FWS knows why. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> He is wonderful. These days I pretty much have my monster on a leash. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I will pray for wonderful for you and in God's time.

Love in Christ,
Miss M