Hi Alphin! I think you are doing really well. You have much such a clear cut plan while people like me dither around. I love your reporting description. I too feel like I'm reporting on a trainwreck while WH is somewhere else entirely.

Good luck with the CS man. I suppose with the time difference, he's already been there.

Father's Day is also going to be awkward around our house too. All WH is getting is a not very nice card from DD. My DD is 11 and she is incredibly angry and hurt. It's also my birthday that day and I am prepared for nothing to happen.

Best to you and your kids.

ROFL!...

naw...It's a Sweet Potato Queen thing...

We are always thinking "spud"...

Susan (laughing with you Pep) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Baby Alph ...

I share this with you NOT to make my dear Mr. Pep look bad ... but to give you some perspective.

Mr. Pep began his physical affair on Father's Day weekend !!!!

See how stupid people can become in the fog of an A?

Me. Pep told us (me and the kids) he was going to see his Dad (who was slowly dying from alcohol cirrhosis by the way) for what might be his last Father's Day with his Father.

Well, he did see his Dad for a few hours ... then drove to the airport, where he and MOW rented a car (?) ... they drove to Monterey ... and consumated their "love" in a Motel.

So you see .. yours is not a worst-case senario .... There IS hope. You should be tough as you need to be, and smart as you can be.

Your advantage? your head is NOT fog-bound, and you LIKE yourself ... it's exceedingly difficult for decent people to really and truely like themselves as an adulteror .... They have to constantly update their lies they tell themselves to make this OK. And the alcohol dulls their sense of right and wrong. Puts their conscience to sleep.

We love you.

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

And Alphin, if you haven't read the Sweet Potato Queens books by Jill Conner Brown, NOW is the time to go get one.

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

It's not a custom I'm familiar with. I know that the Spanish put them in tortilla...

Who knows? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

I know Suz ... spud stud ...

cute as hayul

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

*logs onto Amazon*

Grapegirl,


DD5 is being very creative as I write this with glue and glitter in the other room (I can't look!). DD12's card efforts are curiously absent... she is deeply hurt by WH.

Have you planned anything nice for yourself on Sunday?

Alph.

Dern, I am really gettin' old. Shoulda made the connection 'spud' to the Queenie thingy. Duh!

On the Father's Day point - it was 5 years ago this time that I had d-day. Can't remember if it was exactly on Father's Day - cause I was in denial for a few weeks preceeding the revelation.

WAT

Sounds like a great time of year for just about everyone. Guess I should expect the worst!

Alph.

Alphin, I'm going to be in the bosum of my family on that day. My mom planned a big family reunion starting on my birthday. It was the only time we could get into a facility for the reunion. Originally, before D-day, I wasn't really happy about it because I wanted to go someplace special for my birthday. Now, I see it as a blessing. My mom (who is 87), my 4 brothers, sister, me, most of their spouses and a fair sprinkling of kids are going to a mountain retreat for 3 days. It's going to be really nice. My mom asked me if I wanted a cake or not. That brought tears to my eyes.

Sometimes, things work out okay.

Grapegirl,

I'm very pleased you'll be surrounded by your family on Sunday!

Hope your mom makes you a gooey chocolate cake. Save me a slice! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

Alphin,

Listen to Pep re the storm to come. Remember, you have done nothing wrong. You are fighting for your M in a very ethical manner. Like all addicts and their appologists, they will not like exposure or interference by anyone with their habit.

Perhaps have some copies of this article to hand out or email: http://www.dearpeggy.com/secrets.html


For most of W's 10 year A she did not remember Father's Day at all. When DS was in preschool he would bring something home that they made in class. As he got older he did fewer things like that and since he would not know it was Father's Day unless W told him he would forget. And of course W never thought of it. So I have not received any token of it being Fathers Day for the past 6 years or so. I am curious how this one will go.

I hope it is happy for you this year, Aphelion. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It seems quite an emotive day for a great many people on this board.

Alph.

It can be rescued.

Squid was hard in her affair last year's fathers day without my knowing.

This year I know Squid helped the kids smake me cards and gifts .

Kids love me. Mom loves me.

This will be a good fathers day.

Next year's can be for you too Alph.

Enjoy, bob, enjoy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

Busy day today.

DD5 has her dance class this morning, then we prepare for the arrival of DD12's best friend for a sleepover this evening. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'm making Mexican for dinner - good and messy. DD12 has already picked out the movie they want to watch this evening, but I have to buy popcorn and gooey icecream to go with it yet.

I'm plan A'ing like crazy this weekend - doing fun things for the girls, having fun myself maybe! We will have fun in this house, with or without him! That's an order...

When is that letter going to arrive...? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

WH called the girls early tonight. Not realising it would be him, I picked it up (I usually make the girls answer when I know he's calling).

He just said 'can I speak to the girls', not hello, or please or anything else. I said 'yep' and got them. Gotta do something about this lack of conversation!

I wonder if the letter to Spain arrived, and he's angry with me? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

He's coming around tomorrow to take them out for Father's Day. That should be interesting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

Mum - get off the 'net; I'm trying to call you!

Your Alph.

WH came to pick the girls up after lunch today to take them out.

At first he just waited at the door, and wouldn't come into the house. Eventually the girls dragged him in, and he and I came face to face.

I'd tried to make myself look kinda cute today - wearing a old, but pretty skirt I haven't worn for years because it didn't fit. I put my hair into bunches; again, something I haven't done for years. I looked pretty much like the girl he first fell in love with. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I hope he noticed, cause he was obviously mad as hell at me, though he couldn't say anything because the kids were there. I think that Omelette's parents have received the letter! WH wouldn't make eye contact with me, hardly spoke to me and didn't even say goodbye to me when he left with the girls. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

What a contrast to a week ago. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Still, the man still has his eyes working, I think! I was looking good in a 'how things used to be' kinda way. He might hate me at the moment, but he still saw me.

I'm going to sit out on the deck with a cold one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Alph.