I dont want to, because it will break up our family and take away my kids dad..but here is my story...

Met 10 years ago. Madly "in love". Never really got along great, but just in love. I got preggy. We got married.

During the last 10 years he has lied repeatdly. Here are the big ones....(the ones I found)

1. When we met he told me he was in the special forces in the army. WRONG...7 years later I found out he cleaned weapons, and tehat is all. All those crazy war stories I had been hearing for years were LIES.

2. When we met he had a handgun, for protection (and from the army days, along with a knife with "blood" on it from those days LOL). I told him I did not want guns in the house. 5 years later he comes home with one (never asked or anything). We now have an arsenal in the basement, and I hate them.

3. After letting him keep the guns (what else could I do ??) I told him and he PROMISED not to expose the kids to them. To this day he does it all the time. AND he started taking our 8 year old to the gun shop with him BEHIND MY BACK even telling him not to tell me !!


4. 17 months ago he had an affair. I found out about it because one night he went out witht he "boys" and guess what..that is not where he was !! He turned off his phone and I called and called...no answer. SWo I checked his phone and called the number he had called on his way home..it was a girl. He SWEARS nothing happened (till 2 at night ?? YAH) and like I am going to believe that anyway/

5. Porn !! Obssessed. I didnt have a problem with it when we met, but after it got out of control I askedhim to stop. However, he didnt And to this day I still find it around now and again.Hiding it of course.

6. Drinking. Unless I stay on him he will drink excessivley nightly.

7. Just little stuff (still tickles me even though 10 years ago I told him i HATED it) Swears in front of the kids (our 15 month olds fave word is [censored]) and other things.

8. Will swear in front of the kids when he is mad at me, Bi**c, F**k off, etc etc. Last night he told me to F**k off when I asked him would he even see the kids if I left him (see #9)

9. Has 2 kids from a previous marriage. They keep asking to visit (they live 1600 miiles away) and he is always too busy (but somehow we manage to go to the beach every year <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />). They love him, and he talks to them once a week and then that is it. For years he totally ignored them until I forced himt o talk to them. Then he gets mad at ME for wondering if he would do the same to our kids ??? COME ON.\

If you made it this far...thanks..

Candy

I just don't know if I can work this out. I am a nice, CARING, loving ver very sweet person.

Welcome to MB.

Maybe it's the succinct, matter-of-factness of your post, but just reading this it would seem that your H has some issues. However, he probably doesn't want to deal with them because he's in denial. How safe do you personally feel? Are you concerned about your kids being around the guns? Have you sat down and had a serious talk with him about your concerns and working things out? Have you ever threatened to leave before (or did you)?

I'm curious what his response is when you point out the proof that he has lied (especially #1). As for #10, you're right...that's behavior which, IMHO, will be repeated.

Have you read the info on this site (not these forums, but the site itself)? There are tools here to help you be a stronger person to cope with the things you're going through. Keep posting here too; there are many "old timers" who have dealt with the same issues and can encourage you!