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Well I am shaking... the new cell phone bill is out. Good news: looks like WH was honest about eliminating (or at least better at hiding) communication with the OW #2 the wh&&& from the A Dec-now) BUT.... He lied about the A with OW #3 the one whose TM I saw the night I broke his car window...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> He has been very active in communication with her and is definitly involved in (at the very least) an EA with this woman... I have no reason to believe that he is not also having an PA... There are 2 more cell phone #s that I cannot identify, not that it really matters if they belong to #2 or #3 (or, God forbid, #4 & #5!!!) He has totally gone off the deep end here, no doubt... I mean, yeah, I sorta knew that, but now I know that and it really sucks!! WTH is wrong with this man??!! I am angry, sad, disappointed (a little) and honestly not at all surprised like I thught I might be... like I said, I knew he was still lying to me... Plan B is slipping into Plan D very fast... Is this like a total breakdown or what?? Has anyone elses WSs run off and gone totally nuts?? He did tell me before that had I "let him go" in October (when he started talking about being unhappy and such) he would have "gone nuts" and f*^&%d anythign that would have him <gag>... he did this when we were teens, had like 14 woman in a year or two... ...but we are not kids anymore!! It hurts to watch this, but it also makes me more resolved to get the he77 away from him. I cannot trust his judgement at all! What about the kids? What if they see one of these OW?? That will kill them, they are already struggling with him, they see him being selfish, they know what is happening here... I hate this!! **For those who do not know, my WH and I have been spinning in circles for months and months after (during) his 2nd A... I am in Plan B and looking to file when I can afford it... Still, I never wanted any of this!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
BW, 33 WH 36
Md 14.5 yrs
DD13, DS11, DD4
Tired of counting d-days, D proceeding 7/05
"Pride can break a man right down from iron.
Twist him 'round 'round and tatter up a soul
Handprint of God on the small of my back
my second chance, my second chance.
I'll bend a knee my friend, I'll bend a knee...
Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault.
Say I believe, I believe lay it down.
This the hour of my healing, of my healing,
yeah my heart, my heart redeemed."
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Have you been to counceling with him?
Does he explain WHY he is cheating?
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Sorry TNT.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
All the work you have invested in 'recovery' will not be wasted whatever the outcome. Your personal recovery benefitted from it.
Your kids have a great , strong,righteous Mom. They'll get through it.
{{{TNT}}}}
MB Alumni
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His problem is most likely not with you but some type of sexual addiction.
I definately wouldn't have sex with this guy.
Is he willing to go to IC?
IMO if HE doesn't want to change for himself then forget it.
If you Plan B then what?
He is still a Serial Cheat.
No matter what he says he is addicted. Only his actions will speak.
If it were me, I would file D papers and see if he says he is willing to do what is necessary to stop the addiction.
It's going to be a ***. I would love to have sex with a hundred women (I can anytime I want) but I know I would become addicted.
I like women and sex too much.
Good Luck
Last edited by Sage_MB; 06/07/05 08:32 PM.
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You sound like you are fourteen years old.
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Well I know he is a sex addict... that is a no-brainer at this point... short of tethering him to the house (behave!) I cannot control the man or his behavior, only HE can do that! We tried MC, IC and pastoral care...he lied straight through most sessions... flat out, no remorse lied... No wonder he sounds so depressed now!! DD13 found OW#2's cell phone in her Daddy's car last night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Guess that means that his addiction to her still ives! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Now he says he gave it back, can't live with the lies, gonna see a new IC (male) who can help him through this... blah, blah, babble, babble... TA, D papers are cooking as soon as I get the $$$. It costs alot more than I thought to get a D! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Sex with 100 woman?? WTH for?! This day and age that is pure suicdal craziness... and don't worry, *I* can control myeslf! WH already gave me a "gift" once, and I would rather not go there again!
BW, 33 WH 36
Md 14.5 yrs
DD13, DS11, DD4
Tired of counting d-days, D proceeding 7/05
"Pride can break a man right down from iron.
Twist him 'round 'round and tatter up a soul
Handprint of God on the small of my back
my second chance, my second chance.
I'll bend a knee my friend, I'll bend a knee...
Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault.
Say I believe, I believe lay it down.
This the hour of my healing, of my healing,
yeah my heart, my heart redeemed."
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Is this like a total breakdown or what?? Has anyone elses WSs run off and gone totally nuts?? He did tell me before that had I "let him go" in October (when he started talking about being unhappy and such) he would have "gone nuts" and f*^&%d anythign that would have him <gag>... he did this when we were teens, had like 14 woman in a year or two... Sigh... Is this someone you really want to be married to? Miker
I was the BS - 36
She was the WS - 36, PA with MM
DS8, DD13, DD15 - All living with Dad
DDay 05/04, Divorced 08/05
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If he is agreeable to the D, you can have the papers drawn up yourself and skip an attorney...IF he is agreeable. The only costs that I am aware are involved are filing fees (and maybe a kit that provides the paperwork, which I believe you can get at any office supply store. Another option, that may be much less inexpensive than attorneys fees is to try legal zoom. Again, this would only be helpful if it were an uncontested divorce. Hope some of this proves to be useful for you. Best wishes and prayers to you.
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See, problem is that his "agreeable" parts come and go like the wind!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I am struggling with this and am actually missing him! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I guess that is normal, right?? No Miker, but I would like to be married to the old H I once knew and loved! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I do not know how I am going to handle all of this... he even wanted to discuss terms of "coming home" (maybe, possibly, sorta) <sigh>
BW, 33 WH 36
Md 14.5 yrs
DD13, DS11, DD4
Tired of counting d-days, D proceeding 7/05
"Pride can break a man right down from iron.
Twist him 'round 'round and tatter up a soul
Handprint of God on the small of my back
my second chance, my second chance.
I'll bend a knee my friend, I'll bend a knee...
Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault.
Say I believe, I believe lay it down.
This the hour of my healing, of my healing,
yeah my heart, my heart redeemed."
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Posts: 2,621
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TNT_RN: "I am struggling with this and am actually missing him! I guess that is normal, right??"
Normal? Yah, I think.
Maybe it's like when I had an infected wisdom tooth a few years ago. Very painful. But I did not want to have it pulled. Dentist tried everything to save it but he and I both finally gave up on it and he yanked it out.
My tongue seemed to miss it a lot and would continuously find it's way over to explore the hole - for a month or so.
Don't miss it any more though.
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