I have been married to a mad who has been unfaithful to me for the past 10 yrs. There is even a child born outside of our relationship –paternity test proved she is his. But I have accepted her into our lives. Whatever opportunities my girls have I offer to her as well. And all three girls are best friends as well as sisters.
Anyway, time and time again I have forgiven him for these trespasses. I forgave and then believed him when he said he wanted to change and that he would change. Well for the past 3 yrs we have both rededicated our lives to Christ and become incredibly active with our church. About three months ago I found out that he really had not stopped any of his behaviors. I found out that in January he had a rendezvous with one his girlfriends (yes I said one of them) that he met on-line.
This time was the worst because he went to such great lengths not to give up his habits. I ended up calling a couple of the girls on his cell phone (which I’m paying for by the way) And one of the girls actually told me that “some girl might be calling and if she does tell her you’re a real estate client) I know that my husband thought she would lie for him. He has actually bragged to me about being able to get anyone to lie for him. (should have been clue number 1 that something might not be quite right)
This time was the worst also because it is when I finally realized that he is not going to change.
Now I’m left with the option of staying or leaving. If I stay I will be miserable. Like there is a void. I’ve tried to fill the void with other things like school, overtime at work, a social life, but so far only one thing has worked and that is focusing on my children. If I stay it will be solely for the sake of my children so they can grow up in a household with both parents.
The other dilemma I have is that I have allowed him to ruin my credit with his business ventures that I don’t even think I could get an apartment at this point.
I’m still trying to figure out why I stayed for so long. Why I put up with the lies and when I think back he is a terrible liar. I guess I was afraid to lose him so I never questioned anything he did. But it’s left me doubting myself, feeling helpless, and hopeless because marriage is supposed to be forever.

I don’t know what to do. Still thinking it over. Not even my pastor has been able to help me with this one. I guess cause it’s not like it was just one affair.

What to do? Anyone in similar situation? Could use honest advice.

helpless

Sorry, Tired. Not in a similar situation, but I will tell you this. My parents were married for 32 years when my mother finally filed for divorce from my dad who had 4 affairs and countless emotional affairs. She finally had it and left. Now she kicks herself for not leaving earlier because he never did change...even after what appeared to be a true conversion to Christ. Now she is up there in age and feels like she could have re-married and been happy had she had the guts to leave earlier.

As a child raised in such an environment, would have preferred a divorce. Not really a great way to grow up with parents staying together for my sake. I felt guilty (still do sometimes) for all their unhappiness.

I will pray for you. Christ will see you through.
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