recently found out my husband was cheating. i decided that i wanted to try and save the marriage but he decided to throw me away. not because of the other women but because he doesn't want to hurt me any more. hes afraid to try and save our marriage because we have had problems before and he doesn't want to deal. I am crumbling inside i love him so much and nothing i say or do will change his mind. i am angry at his unwillingness to give it a try he sees it as pointless. we also have 2 kids. i feel so alone right now. and i really miss him. i feel as though i am losing every thing that i have ever wanted(not counting the kids) i am losing my best friend, lover and husband. i have made changes in my self hoping to rekindle the relationship. i lost weight, try to smile and be pleasent when he is here. i started doing more for my self getting out more but he is still leaving. he says a part of him will always love me and he cries when we talk about the relationship. i need some help getting through this. any advise would be helpful.

Welcome to marriage builders. I'm glad that you found us. We all understand what you are going through. Read all of the information here. It really helps.

You also might want to post on the General Questions forum. That is where there is more traffic. You will get more help.

Is he still seeing the other woman? That is why he is unwilling to work on the marriage.

Read about Plan A, and get busy. Then stick with us, and we will help you through this.

j,

the pain you are feeling is very real. your soul mate, your best friend betrayed you. you might benefit by reading what dearpeggy has to say about people in affairs and why they do what they do. might help you feel less of a victim.

see a counselor immediately, you need a healthy outlet. also antidepressants are very important.

there are many books on happiness. true happiness is very hard to create. i have learned that my emotions are my choice and can not blame others for making me depressed or unhappy. i choose to be happy or not, i choose how to feel. you i am sure are a awesome mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, grandaughter to someone. surround yourself with those people right now. and PLAN B.

do your best to learn this site inside and out and especially plan b. this may help you. also if you can read recovering from an affair by dr harley, it has an example of how plan b can work to save a marriage. i hate to say it, but it sounds like your h is still in the affair. if he is....plan b and i mean TOUGH plan b should be very beneficial.

hugs to you

H says he's not and i am reading here every day thanks for the support

be leary is all i can say.......why would he tell the truth?

i am being leary. but i am so sick of his bull. i have such a heavy load with the 2 kids and his grandfather. and hes not any help he breezes in for a few hours and then im left to deal with the crying 2 year old who wants her daddy. i am reading and trying to stay focused but its really hard. he still calling 3-4 time a day. he says to see how we are and i tell him just great but i want to yell at him how the he** do you think. you did this to us you selfish pig so come home and help with the responsibilites here. i just don't get it he was so responsible before this but now he just a [censored].