Please, please, all of the MB people, I really need some help here.

My father is cheating on my mom, AGAIN. My little brother, (who lives with my dad), accidentaly read one of the e-mail exchanges between him and his OW.
Apparently they've been in at least a EA for a while now, all while my mother is working her back off in Mexico City, living all on her own, thinking my dad is faithfully working over in L.A. (he is with the press in assignment).

My brother is crushed, he is in total shock and disbelief, but this has happened before when I was 13 years old. Back then I could do nothing much but try to protect my mom and be pushed to be the middle man. Back then I told my father that all my respect for him was lost and if he ever dared to do such a thing again he'd pay... dearly... and I don't threaten lightly.

My gut reaction is to call everybody on his family that respects my mom, call my mother, my aunts, and make such a big fuzz he'll just want to crawl under a rock and die. Heck... I might even fly there and beat the doodoo out of him, break his computer in half and give his OW a nice knuckle sandwich.

Now I won't resort to violence... yet... but I need help.
My mom is coming back from a trip today, and I am trying to reach her to expose.
I have very clear e-mails that tell it like it is AND I have first and last name of this OW along with her e-mail.
My brother is installing a key-logger on my dad's laptop and is thinking of tracing her IP.

I need to know how, if, and when to tell my mom, and what to tell her.
PLEASE HELP!!!

Just call your mom and tell her. Let her decide what she wants to do. You might send her over here so we can help her.

Sounds good to me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, I told my mom... and then all heck broke loose.
I listened into their conversation thanks to the marbels of internet telephones.
She told me that this A has been ongoing on and off for 25 years!!! As old as I am.
She found out back then and was going to leave him, but was scared to do it because she was pregnant with me.
This woman has been popping here and there over and over. She always starts by sending e-mails and this time my dad got caught and he couldn't get away.

{{{Alostwife}}}

I don't even know what to say, but that I'm sorry you had to hear the ugly truth and now deal with the pain of your father's A. I agree w/ ML - see if your mom will come to MB for support.

Hang in there,

Oh I so want to send her the nastiest e-mail... should I?
I mean, this woman has been making MY life hell for years!
My mother is still talking to him.
My brother is terrified that my dad will give him hell, but it isn't his fault at all.

Should i contact this lady myself?

I say yes ... esp. since the cat's out of the bag anyway. Let her know the excrutiating pain she's caused everyone - esp. you and your brother (since I would think she's pretty numb to your mom by now). Expose the heck out of her! Maybe if she has an ounce of feeling or decency left, perhaps she'll leave your dad alone.

Good luck!

ALW:

Is the OW married? Family?

You know this stuff, but we'll try 2 help if we can.

-ol' 2long

Yup, the OW is married, but I don't know her BS's mail.
My dad has been trying to say this exchange was just "friendly" (yeah, when they are calling each other darling, love, and telling each other how they miss each other so much!).

I am waiting to hear from my mom to know what to do.
The e-mail I wrote is sooooo harsh... man am I mad... my dad kept repeating "Oh my god, ALW knows???... oh my god she is going to kill me".

Hehehehe...

*sigh*
The worst thing, what is making me and my brother the saddest is that we can't be there with my mom to hug her and tell her everything is ok. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

This is just AGH!
Let this be a reminder that continued contact with an XOP is incredibly hurtful.

"my dad kept repeating "Oh my god, ALW knows???... oh my god she is going to kill me".

Hehehehe... "

...just make it S*L*O*W and painful, okay?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

He'll thank you someday!

-ol' 2long

*gets torture implements*

Oh he'll just wish he wasn't born I can tell you that.

<---dangerous when angry... or when hungry... or when lacking sugar... or when a squirrel happens to look at her in the wrong way.

Point that anger towards a well timed email to the HB [ho-bag] and perhaps cc your father. Will your mother come here?

p.s. you are a good daughter to support your mother!

Well... so far this is what has happened.
My brother and I stayed up untill 5 a.m. talking to my mom. Apparently she cornered my dad thanks to the e-mail my brother copied, and this time he couldn't brush it off and pretend we were just exagerating or blowing things out of proportion like he normally does.

My mom explained us this has happened several times and that everytime it happened he'd just make her out to be insane and tell her to just "get over it" and to "shut up already".

This ho-bag looks for my father every other year. My father is a very prominent journalist, so he gets published in several different newspapers in the front page, he does radio and tv, so what she does is call his newspaper, ask for his e-mail, and starts writing to him like they never stopped talking.

My mother demanded to know why he was being so cutesy with her with lines like "ILU, I miss your charms, my love, my darling, I miss you with all my soul". He tried to say he was just answering on the same tone the OW was writing to him as a joke, but it was pretty obvious that language is WAY over any joke, despite the OW was taking it very seriously, because in the exchange of e-mails her tone kept just scalating and becoming more inappropiate.

Of course he was pretty much left against the ropes and he admitted it was inappropiate, that the whole thing was wrong, that he had stepped way over the boundaries, and he had made a grave mistake. My mother told him it was enough, that she was sick and tired and that if he didn't start NC and made an effort to fix this mess she'd be sending him divorce papers, and starting to divide property.

By this point my father was just scared poopless, and was all apologies and regrets.
After my mother was done with him he was pretty much shaken and scrambling to fix things up.
I talked to her and my brother and she told us she is giving him one last chance, but she is keeping her guard up and will let him sweat it untill she sees a real prove that this is it, like an NC letter, etc. She also asked my and my brother to let her handle this herself and not torture my father in our own, since right now he is feeling so ashamed he just doesn't know how he'll be able to look at us straight anymore.
Apparently this is the very first time that he has ever apologized or showed actual remorse about this whole deal, so she is pretty confident he was really shaken by this episode, but is advancing with a lot of caution.

My brother was scared that my dad would hate him, but we reassured him that what he did was right, it wasn't his fault my father left his icky A e-mail open on my bro's PC, and left the room. He had great instincts when he copied it and saved it away, and he did good on contacting me.
My father tried to shift the blame on my brother at first, saying he didn't have the right to read his e-mail, and that he had made the whole mess by overreacting. But my mother put him on his place and told him not to dare blaming him, that it wasn't him who wrote the e-mail, it wasn't him who opened it, he was just the messenger, despite, it was me who told her anyhow.

After that he was just so alarmed I knew he lost his bearings, since last time this happened in such a big scale I told him I'd pretty much kill him on his sleep if it happened againt and didn't talk to him for a year, (what can I say... I have a temper).

About contacting the ho-bag, I wrote a pretty nasty e-mail and even created an account on the exact server she is using, I showed it to my brother and he said it was the most gore e-mail ever... very "subtle" he said (joking of course), it was so evil it hurt to read, and I wrote it!
I asked my mom if I could please send it to the ho-bag, she asked me to see it, and I cautioned her for strong language. She had a big laugh and said not to send it, since it sounded like I had written it from a high security prison cell sitting right along side Anibal Lecter.
On my defense it was quite poetic, with lines like "Wishing your slow and painful death".

But I honored my mothers wishes and just saved it as draft just in case. At least we poked fun of it and made her laugh with our sillyness since my brother and I can't be together without making jokes about everything, no matter how bad the situation is.

My brother will try to get a hold of my father's laptop when he is out of the house in assignment and will install a key logger that he and I will monitor, to make sure the NC is for real and it is kept. If it isn't we'll inform my mom inmediately.

She thanked us both for getting back to her so quickly and giving her the e-mail so she could know what was going on and she could actually deffend herself.

Melody,
I told her about MB, but she can't understand much English, so I guess I'll be posting questions and answers by proxy if she wants me to. I'll talk to her later, since she is at work right now.

All I can say is that I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. Just be there for your mom and give her support! I will keep all of you in my prayers.

TreeReich,
Definitely will do that. My brother and I have always been an unified front when it comes to actions in family settings.
Our family is really tight, since we spent many years all alone and just being able to depend in one another with no extended family etc.
Now that we are scattered with me in the East Coast, them in the West Coast and my mother in Mexico, we still keep very close contact thanks to the internet, and we all have cell phones with plenty of free minutes (Yay technology!).

We told my mom we had her back, that she had us with her in every step of the way, and we'd follow whatever instructions she wanted to give us, even if it meant to cut my father some slack.

For now my brother is the one that is really feeling the heat, since this is the very first time he has had to face this problem, since he was just 6 last time this happened. And he is the one living with my father. I told him that if he gets too uncomfortable to go live with my aunt who lives nearby, or let me know and I'll try and fly him over here to stay with us. So far he is being very calm and collected and doing good.

My father is acting like a wussy.
Apparently he has spent most of the day on his room since he got exposed. He won't talk to my brother at all, even when my brother tried to play nice and make conversation with him.
He pretty much grunted at him and ran into his room as if he was an angry 15 year old having a fit.
He has been communicating with my mom giving her all kinds of pleasant discussion topics, complimenting her, asking her how she is doing at work, etc etc, but won't say whatever happened to the NC letter or what is going on with the whole A itself.

He is making me incredibly angry, and since he isn't talking to my brother he hasn't given him money to go grocery shopping or get something to eat, so he is having to find some old ramen packs or tuna cans to eat.
I was going to order and pay for a pizza online for him, but he was scared it would just cause more tension, so he asked me not to do it. I told him I'd do it today if my father didn't have the decency of talking to him already.

My mom says my father has told her he doesn't speak to my brother out of embarrasement. I don't buy it, and for me an my brother (who says he gives him killer stares everytime he sees him), it is pretty obvious he is furious at him for telling on him.

I know I promised my mom to give my father some space, but this is ridiculous. He won't call me or have the gall to drop me an e-mail because he is scared of me.
He won't talk to my brother or feed him because he is mad at him.

I keep trying to make myself give him a call, but I have a problem with my anger towards him right now, and I am affraid I'd scream at him for 12 hours straight or more and not get anything productive out of it appart from giving him more excuses to treat my brother poorly.

What to do?

BTW: My need to seek revenge by causing amazing levels of pain and annoyance to both my father and the OW is really getting to me.
My ability to dodge the send button to a myriad of letters that could pretty much engulf a computer in fire due to content is really getting weak.
I am now looking into signing this OW to the nastiest e-mail spam there is about. I used to work at systems support for a college library, so I know the worst of the worst sources for icky things on the net (had to scrub them off PC's every morning and it hurt my eyes so very bad).

Maybe sending her a nasty pack of viruses and trojans would be nice... oh the hour grows dark and my need to beat someone senseless grows stronger.

I need to do some meditation.
*Gets miniature zen garden*

I feel so bad for your poor brother.

Damitol. I'll order him some 'za. Your dad's behaving like my 5 year old when he's denied a toy at WalMart.

Whatcha need? I've got a flare prayer sent up...lemme know...even if it's wishing some nasty curses on OW and dad...I've got a whole book of em.