I haven't posted in a while but I've seen lots of newbies, some WS and some BS.

I'd really like to tell the story of a real recovery, a real, genuine recovery.

I hope it gives the BS something, I'm aiming it perhaps more at FWS.

I've been on MB since Feb 2004, I've been through it all, I've seen it all (nearly).

I guess I'm known as one of the FWW's who stuck around on the board, giving my 2c worth and hopefully helping people.

All I am today is Rob's wife. I'm not a FWW or a RWW or any sort of WW anymore. The OM is but a distant memory that I really, truthfully have a great deal of difficulty even summoning into my memory banks (if I wanted to which I don't). It sounds simple but those who've been on the journey with me (my MB friends) know what that means.

And how did that come about. Those who know me here know that it was quite a fraught journey (to put it mildly). I thought I'd never get through it, over it, whatever. I thought I'd never be where I am today. The first step was total honesty with Rob from d-day on, the second step was complete and utter, total NC which, when it was broken by complete accident, the meeting meant nothing - maybe a chapter closed (as those who know me will remember lol). The third step was listening and learning from all my wonderful friends here.

I guess I'm trying to say that recovery is possible and it's probable, yes, certain, if both parties are giving everything to it.

BTW, MW stands for married woman which is what I am. I'm not defined by anything else and that means by my husband, my family, my RL friends and my MB friends.

If you have questions, fire away, but this is almost a stand alone post. It breaks my heart to see WS's still saying "oh, this is so different", no one else understands." That's just a crock.

Jen

* applause !*

{{{{Jen & Rob }}}}

Hi KiwiJ, thanks for sharing and I believe your story is an encouragement to many people around here! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I also consider myself as just a MARRIED WOMAN who have grown and gain much wisdom from my previous experience… The only reason I still refer to myself as a Recovered FWW in my signature and in my posts is to let other poster on these boards know where I’m coming from and most specifically because this is an Infidelity board where others can approach me for help, advice & support for their own situations… How will these posters know what type of help to get from me and where I’m coming from if they don’t have a clue of my past situation and experience around infidelity as a FWS? Certainly I don’t view or refer to myself as a FWW in real flesh-and-blood life because I’ve chosen not to define & judge myself by my past mistakes, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> but on these infidelity boards I AM and will always remain a FORMER and RECOVERED WS… For the main reason that I post here and give insight & advice from my past experience as a WS… And I don’t have a problem with it and I certainly don’t feel ashamed about it because I know I’m a changed person TODAY! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Blessings,
Suzet

All I can say, is that I am incredibly thankful to the good people like you that take the time to help others get through this. It spreads hope and light in many very dark corners.
Thank you for being so generous and inspiring.

KiwiJ,

Thank you for starting this thread. I've wanted to meet you ever since I first joined MB, when bOb told me a little bit about you.

My WH has left me and our two children for the OW - bOb said that your A was an exit affair also? The fact of your reconciliation and recovery with your H seemed a real ray of hope to me in dark times, but I was never able to find your story on the board, by searching through your profile or by using the search function (which I can't really fathom anyway).

My WH and the OW are 'soulmates', and the fog is very, very thick with WH. We (DD12, DD5 and myself) are suffering so much and WH can't see it. He thinks that this will be good for everyone, that it will make us all happy. In a couple of months, he said on d/day, we will all be friends and you will be coming around for dinner with me and OW. WTF!!!

Please tell me what it was that broke through to you and made you change your mind about the A? And how long did it take you?

Thank you, Jen.

Alph.

I love you, you cute Kiwi you! You make my heart sing.

Aloha MW,

I like your KJ name also. Always had a sweet sound to it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Glad to hear you are doing well and always love your input.

Please post when you can. Seems like several WS are trying to be Xws and more but seem t/b having a hard time. 2004 wasn't that long ago but then again, it was wasn't it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Your story and support have been helpful for many.

Hugz,
L.

Hi Jen!

How's that hot lamb doing? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Please stick around on this forum when you can. It needs good folks like you and Suz and others (trying to avoid the acronyms here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> ).

WAT

You are such a wonderful example, Jen my dear friend. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Jen!!!! Nice initials, nice post! I haven't had much time to stay in the loop on MB, how's the new/old job? Hope it's still going well for you, and I'm delighted as always that you and Rob are doing so well. There really IS life beyond infidelity and it can be so gooood! Thanks for sharing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Hugs, KB