Hey everyone, quick (and final) update from my life...

Win sat me down last night and said she wants a divorce. She has it all planned out, she's going to buy me out of the house, I can go buy a condo in town, and we will be splitting custody 50-50. There were no tears and it was a pretty business-like conversation. She'll never be my friend again but we will maintain a pleasant tone with each other as we deal with the business of raising these kids. Ultimately, she states she "just wants to be alone". She is "tired of being controlled" and states that we "married too young". And she doesn't love me anymore and can't live with me. So, fair enough.

I told her I wished she had tried a little harder for my sake and the kids, but her feelings are her feelings and I know she won't be talked out of them. Do I suspect that there's still fog, and that she's making this decision prematurely? Sure. But I think it's also a safe bet to say her love for me is dead, and my love for her is dying as well. There's just the kids now, and how my living situation will work out, and the paperwork. And the little matter of how the second half of my life will go.

Thanks for all the help everyone here tried to give. You were right, but Win didn't want to hear these things, she just wants to escape back to a high school form of life. I hope it gives her the happiness she thinks she will find there. I know that, for me, I'm ready to be an adult now, and I've learned a lot the last 6 months about intimacy and growing up. So I've been able to pull a little something positive out of the worst experience of my life. I probably won't be posting here anymore, so good luck to all of you in dealing with this stuff. I hope your situations end better than mine.

she's going to buy me out of the house,
Ownership of the house (title) and the mortgage are two completely different things. Just because you do one, it will not change the other.
Make sure she gets the house refinanced into her own name only, otherwise you will still be liable.

Oh yeah, she is planning on taking out a new loan and having the house fully in her name.

Well, I'm sorry to hear this, Bass. I'm not surprised, but I am still saddened by it.

Regardless, I wish the best for the both of you, and your children.

I always felt Win had a greater distance to travel than most ... I also felt she might have a hidden agenda. She seems to be a very closed off person with some very strong high walls around her.

I hope the best for both of you.

Pep, it's hard to reconcile the Win of 2005 with the Win I knew from 1983 to 2004. She's a lot harder, a lot colder (to me, anyways)...she used to be the nicest, sweetest person you can imagine. I think she has changed due to the stress of not being in love with me anymore (to be fair, I was a damn hard person to love the last 5 years) and trying to reconcile that with her guilt over breaking up the family and doing this to the kids. But it's a break that I think had to be made, for her part. I told her last night I hope she can regain some of the niceness she had, because she really is a wonderful person and it hurts me sometimes to see how much she has changed. She still manages to be nice and funny to her family and friends, so I have hopes she will recover from this and get back to being a more open, nicer person. I just wish I could have helped her get back to that place, and that it wasn't necessary for me to go for her to get back. But, as they say, [censored] happens. I wish her well, and hope that she will be happy in her new life.

for whatever it's worth Bass .... it is usually a really sensitive person who requires such strong fortress of defenses.

Yes, she is very sensitive, as am I. She's a conflict avoider, so that's why she let things go for so long and she let herself fell so far out of love without raising issues. And it's made the last 6 months hell for her, because it's been nothing but conflict. I'm sure she feels much better today, knowing that the conflict is behind her. I think she missed a chance to grow (and keep our family together!) but hopefully she has learned something from this and she will be more outspoken in her next relationship. I think she has.