The counselor explained to me that my H has me going in a cirlces. When I catch him red handed he pulls me back to him and I come running. Not this time.

I'm sticking to my guns. I won't discuss anything but the kids with him.

I leave for a camping trip Friday. He'll have the kids. This will be the second time in 8 months that he's had both kids.

He came by the house today, the boys were at his house. It had been 5 full days without contact. He wanted to know why it was ok for me to go out but not him. I told him I didn't want to talk about it. He left.

He can go out, just not spend the night with his girlfriend. I've never been more sure that he's seeing the blonde from work until he insisted our son spend the weekend with me.

He's going to hang himself here. Our son will soooooo cramp his style. He won't be able to hide his affair from his son. He wants to keep this hidden from everyone.

Our son told me he thought his dad was having affair months before I even considered it.

The counselor agrees that the relationship with the OW will run it's course. I'm sure of it too. I have to be strong and NOT serve his cake to him.

I haven't gotten the SAA book yet but I intend to for the weekend reading time I'll have available.

Thanks again, Dinky

Have you decided on Plan B then? And overall, how would you rate your Plan A?

As I've said before, I think your situation could respond very nicely to the MB format....but you'll need to use it as it's prescribed.

So, where are you in your "plan"? And if you haven't decided yet, what's on your mind that's holding you back?

I have decided on plan B. What's holding me back? Does he want to fix himself or is he just going to counseling to keep me hanging on. That's the question.

I KNOW I deserve a good man. I am worthy of someone with real integrity. My H was never a pillar of the community so to speak. It's time he show the world his real self. He had an awful example of what a man is supposed to be. When I married him I had no idea how much our parents shape our lives.

I am no longer babysitting an adult. If his low self esteem is his excuse for cheating (and never admitting it) then so be it. I AM NOT responsible for his self esteem.

With the recent events I have finally stepped back to let the chips fall where they may. I don't believe he wants a divorce. I believe he believes he has me in the palm of his hand. He did until Friday night.

I have told him repeatedly that I do not want a divorce. I've given him every opportunity to see what he has. I guess he's been having too much fun to give up the OW. I honestly believed him, all the lies, until Friday night. It was so obvious.

Time will tell.

Dinky

I understand the plan to be pleasant and only good feelings toward the WS. Doing it is a whole different thing.

Any BS out there who can act this out should win an award. I want to physically attack him almost every time I think of him. He and he alone has turned my world upside down.

I get all geared up to be this great and strong BS after reading other BS's posts then it all fades away to reality. To the obvious lies. Dear God, how and why did I believe anything he's said for 10 months. I knew it, I felt it, that there was someone else.

I know there is no justice in this world but I don't deserve this pain.

Dinky

He's a fruit loop. He pitched a fit that I was going out of town for the weekend. Saying things like "I hope you get aids from your boyfriend and die", "If you leave this yard it's over (our marriage)".

He came to the campground where I was staying. Ofcourse I didn't handle it well. He told me he didn't believe that I would be alone. He and the boys rented a hotel around the corner. The weather was so bad they left Saturday am.

I went to counseling on Tuesday. He really helps me get myself back together. I think he's having me do plan B without labeling it. He wants me to be "neutral". Not easy for me. I'm working on myself. I have a lot of insecurities. Mainly my oldest son living with his dad. Because of my work schedule our youngest has been staying the nights with them. I almost feel useless. I know I should be enjoying the time alone but my life is changing so much so fast.

He's not working, he quit his job in February. He's starting his own business. He cashed in his 401K, received $30,000. I didn't get a penny. He's having a great time. He bought a $500 dog. Our son a $4000 4 wheeler. I see the 30 grand being gone real soon.

I'm trying to disengage from him. I just kinda feel left out. Strange, I'm the one who has tried to take the high road and do the right thing. Look at where I'm at. No money, alone and sad. But at least I have a good job. I supply the medical insurance for our family. Yea for me.

I get the boys this weekend. My youngest son officially lives with me. But because of my hours (4am to 9am), he's been staying the night with his dad for the last week.

I guess I'm afraid of the unknown.

Dinky