My husband got involved w/a woman at work also married w/2 children (same as us). He denied, denied, denied. I had to dig to get the data b4 he would admit to anything. Still provided him proof, still denied...went to counseling, threw him out, got back together, swore he would never communicate...well he speaks to her everyday from his office. she leaves no more msgs on voicemail cause he knows I can brake code, no trace what so ever but he still speaks to her everyday, several times a day. he is totally addicted to this girl and does not want to lose me at the same time. I have been going to see a Dr. to avoid insanity! I am plng on going to his ofc this weekend to install a voice recorder because this is the only way out for me. this guy is nuts and every time I confront him with data, he goes bezerk. Is anyone out there going through the same thing? This has been going on for 2.5 years. I have had enough!!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

sandrasil - Luckily you have found us. He is addicted to her like most WS's get. Have you found any proof of a physical affair? Have you talked to her husband?

When I found out in '02, I contacted the husband because my H is a v-principal and she is a teacher under him so I had home #. B4 I was able to get into details, he mentioned my H's name(I said I was a friend of the wife). I asked who he was and why and he said he found valentine card from him and he went nuts. she told him that he was chasing after her. he call my H and my H told him he would never call her again. she made first contact during summer to vm at work. i had code so i heard the msg b4 he did. i called her cell (husband gave me both numbers to call on) and left a msg. well apparently her H had the cell over the summer and heard the msg. about 4 days later she leaves a phsycho msg to my H that i was a *&^^) that she didn't want anything to do w/him which was a line of bull. she continued to call him and till today he speaks to her every single day. I have confronted him many times and he just starts breaking things, he will not admit to it. the only reason he admitted to it last time was because i had facts. i really can't take this anymore. I am at the end of my rope and i have 2 little ones that are probably very worried about me and it's not fair!!!

Have you exposed them at work? Are you still in touch with the OW's husband about this?

He starts breaking things?

i had her transferred twice. finally she was forced to resign and she now is in another school system but bldgs are about 5 minutes from each other!! her husband believes her, he is young, he will learn the hard way...my H is the prob., i think he's in ml crisis...can't take it anymore, but so convincing like dr harley's 1st letter for unfaithful husband on website...my husband is an addict for everything he does, exercising, eating, etc. this is just another routine in his life that he must not deviate from!

yup. breaks doors, dishes, throws food all over the place...can't accept the truth............he has a major problem!

sandrisil, are you familiar with Marriage Builders principles, ie: Plan A and Plan B?

I would think about getting some IC for yourself. He is controlling you by going into these rages. It is not good for you or your children.

You have a lot worse problems than his infidelity.

a little bit...i am beyond plan a. i threw him out oct of '03 and got back on in nov cause he wouldn't leave me alone. i believed him but then began suspecting again and sure enough he was still in contact w/her but i have not been able to get the proof because he is doing it from his ofc. other than the times he calls which is the same everyday, then when he sees I know he calls at a different time, but i figure it out anyway...and it goes on and on...it's just a big game for him i guess. as i said i plan to go to his ofc to record calls and then proceed to plan b. i don't think he will change.

you're not telling me anything i don't already know. my husband has many issues but think he is perfect.

Sandrasil - Stick with us and we will help you through this. You should not be living with a man that breaks and throws things when you try to discuss his infidelity.