Gosh this is so hard. It seems that now that I've resolved that my marriage is over it's getting trickier. I'm doing everything I can to not call him...it wouldn't accomplish anything except I'd get to hear his voice. His voice is the only thing that is the same as the man I married. Each evening I go through this..."Don't call...you have better things to do." And I don't ... but with everything I do I'm still thinking about him. Ugh.

And especially when it gets a little later at night it's too late to call friends because they all have husbands and families. I've tried hanging out on chat boards but all anyone ever wants to chat about is sex. I'm sick of renting and watching movies...I can't fall asleep at night.... Don't get me wrong...I go out with friends but Friday nights are hard because after a long week I have no energy to go out and during the week...well I work. What to do?

God's saving grace: 24 hour WalMart. It's time to paint the kitchen, no?

How about the bathroom? Make the bedroom yours alone. Go out and get hot pink duvets....lmao! Really. Re-decorating goes a long way towards tiring you out, and the added bene of making your place YOURS!

Are you in Plan B now? Then you especially don't want to be calling him.

Try a new hobby, or pick up an old one that you would like to start doing again.

Take a class and learn something new.

Reorganize your closets.

Exercise.

Find a mystery series to read, start with the first book and read them in order.

I think no matter if you're in Plan B or pursuing a D actually, it is difficult to keep away from WS. I am struggling with getting on with my life until WH decides he's ready to make a committment to us again myself, so I know how hard it may get.

I have found following activities helpful:

1. Concentrating on the career. I have been out of my work for 1.5 years now and have found that I have some holes that need to be filled. This can mean taking some courses, preparing for exams, doing online research on interesting topics, reading, visiting forums, etc. It takes time and leaves you with a feeling of accomplishment.

2. A hobby. Not only it takes time and makes fun to do, but also you can find Internet places that are devoted to the hobby and fun to be at. You can have lots of nice virtual friends there, without sex even being mentioned ever.

3. Charity work. It feels good to be helping others and again it may be a source for non-sexual contacts.

4. Reading is a good option because it keeps your mind off of the R. Re-read books you loved and have always wanted to re-read. Visit your library (something to do).

5. Sport, if you like it and find a motivation.

HTH

Gosia