My wife and i have been married for 7 years now. I still am having problem dealing with her past sexual realationships. She is the only on i have ever had sex with while she has had 3 or 4 before me. For years now i have tried to put it out of my head but its hard to do. I feel some times like i hold it over her whitch i know its not a good thing.About 4 years back my wife was suffering from depression while on a trip to see her parents she wanted to see one of her ex so ahe can close the door on that part of her life. I told her it would be alright as long is she kept to a couple of rules that i put down ( Meet in a pubilc place, no physalical contact of any kind, and to tell me what was discussed) i didnt think that was to much to ask just a couple of things for my peice of mind. well come to find out thet didnt go to a pubic place they just drove around she said she gave him a hug goodbye and she said they really didnt talk about nothing to big. and to top it off i find out a year later that she was even drunk. I want to really try to move on. any ideas, books to read, would be great, or if ya feel im nuts to think this way just tell me

I've never had the problem....and there's not a lot of traffic on this board. You might have better luck getting information or advice on the Emotional Needs board.

Trust is something that has to be earned. Frankly, I would be suspicious of your W hanging out with ex's.

Frankly, I suspect there's probably more to your insecurity than this one specific issue.

So no, I don't think your completely nuts. And your W is not doingyou any favors by seeing her ex's. For any reason.

Have you reviewed the Basic Concepts and such on this site? There is much info in there on addressing these issues, and the Q&A section is filled with real-world application of the MB principles.

I would start there, and see where that takes you. Read the material carefully on Emotional AFfairs, and the damage tha tEA's do, and what's involved in rebuilding trust.