I am not sure if this is OK to post here, and I am quiet ashamed to even be doing this.
To be blunt, because how else can you be....
About 2 days ago I got these sores (they don't look like the gross pics I found online), but none the less, I got red, a bit hard, sores on one side of my female parts. Anyhow, my daughter has a yeast infection, so I passed it off. Yesterday they hurt more, but did not look worse and no more appeared.
I was tested for STDs in February, but they don't test for genital herpes unless you have a visible infection, which I didn't. They tested for everything else, which was negative.
I talked to WH about STDs when he was in jail, and he claimed that he was tested in the Navy, and was negative.
Anyhow, I would love to think I have an allergic reaction to something, but I fear the worst.
Also, I have never been to a doctor since we got to Maine. I find it rather appalling to think I would make a call, find a doctor, and have my first visit 'well I think I have herpes' Looking online it says you can only get a true test result before 48 hours from the time the symptoms appear, which has already passed.
I guess suck it up and wait and see if it comes back.
I don't have the other symptoms that are associated with it..
Sorry if this is to personal.
Danielle

Dani, you can go and get tested at your local Planned parenthood and it is all confidentaial...When was the last time you had SF with your H? It could be any number of things...dont panic yet...call the planned parenthood and see if you can get in ASAP!

Okay, I justt called planned parenthood. They re-open Monday at 8am. I will call them then.

Thank you!
Danielle

Ugh, sorry Dani, that sucks to even have to worry about.

Do you still have the sores right now?? If I were you'd I'd go to the ER have it checked out.

I know that you're probably embarrassed, but remember that this is through no fault of your own.

The ER has to be discreet also....it's a privacy act thing.

OH my gosh, I'll bet your livid.

-Caren

I'm just going to echo all the advice you've already gotten, Dani. A little bit of embarrassment is better than being DEAD. Besides, you shouldn't be ashamed - your DH was out wh*ring around with some tramp, and you got caught in the crossfire. Get to Planned Parenthood Monday, and until I hear an update, I'll be praying that there's nothing wrong with you.

(((HUGS)))

DanigirlinVA
I hear your fear and anxiety over this but I must jump in here and tell you to take a deep breath.
Yes, it's possible that you have contracted an STD based on your previous posts. But it's not the end of the world if you did.
This, sadly, is exactly how I realised what my wife had done. The diagnosisi from my doctor was exactly what buted her. Otherwise, I never would have known the betrayal of my wife( and she reiterates that constantly).
I developed HPV(human paplioma virus) which is an STD commonly refferd to as genital warts. UGG.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
When my doctor confirmed this, I was devastated by the implicaton that the only preson who could have given me this is my one and only sexual partner, my wife.
The cure, so to speak for me, was to have these warts burned off by a professional(not a lot of fun) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
When they returned 3 mos. later, again another burning session.
Not the worst thing in the world, I can and will have to live wit it for the rest of my life, but for me, it is manageable and I will survive.
For women however, HPV can be a horrible disease that can ultimately lead to cervical cancer. I don't say this to scare you, but, you should definately find out what it is.
Perhaps you should reach out to Lemonman as he is a physician, and can advise you of the complications of this from a medical point of view.
Please note, I'm not saying that this is what you have!!!
It would, however, be foolish of you not to investigate further.
All Blessings,
Jerry

(Breaking vows once again...Shame on me)

A word of advice.......DON't SPEND HOURS LOOKING AT THE INTERNET trying to self diagnose yourself. Please don't do this.

I would get a series of STD tests, and if you so desire get an HSV (herpes simplex virus) antibodies test (it will probably be positive, as most of us here have antibodies to at least one of the two common types of Herpes Simplex Virus.

Just take a deep breath and DON'T panic. Even if you have an STD, it is NOT the end of the world. I don't know what you have, it may be nothing, or it may be herpes or HPV. I would get a full pelvic exam and then get the tests AGAIN if you have been initimate with your heathen WH since the original battery of tests. Even if you have herpes, this can be controlled for the most part with antiretroviral therapy to control outbreaks. It is my experience that STD's have FAR MORE emotional consequences than physical consequences.

The internet is a godsend, but it also causes a hell of a lot of anxiety because it allows people to help diagnose themselves and this is usually frought with error.

Herpes is typically NOT like the gross pictures you see on the internet. Many times people mistake the lesions as ingrown hairs or pimples, when in fact they are herpetic lesions. Ok, so now that you are probably freaking out, just breathe easy. Did you know that a full 25% of us on marriage Builders have Genital Herpes and don't even know it. So, please take this all in context.

Please swallow your pride or whatver and see a fully qualified MD (or NP) who has experience seeing and Dx STD's. Most trauma surgeons could not tell an STD from a f-ing hole in the road, but it just so happens that infectious diseases is one of my nonsurgical interests. I once thought of becoming an AIDS specialist.

Ok, anyways, your more pressing concerns are in my opinion your continued codepedency of your scumbag husband. Why do you even post that you and your WH have a RO against the OW? It seems kind of ridiculous to post that considering what the hell is going on with everything. Don't ya think?

LM

do what lemon says....get tested and let the doc do what he needs to do.

leave the std's to the ow, and your WS. Get away....FAAAAAR AWAY FROM THIS.

Not only is this unstable mentally for you, but some std's are deadly and others chronic and last for years...just ask my patient on thursday...woman with hep B for 12 years plus...courtesy of her wayward xh. Now she's having liver surgery next week.

No relationship is worth that...

And yes, I GOT TESTED FOR STD'S BY MY DOC AS I WAS FEARFUL DARTH HAD SLEPT AROUND WAAAAY TOO MUCH. Thankfully I am negative, but had to be sure. Now I am ok and thankful that I did not catch anything.

When you're STUUUUPID AND LIVING LIFE FOR YOUR OWN SATISFACTION AS THE WS'S DO HERE, YOU ARE CAPABLE OF CONTRACTING ANYTHNG...IF IT FEELS GOOD, THEN WS' WILL DO IT. AND AT ANYBODYS' EXPENSE TOO.

Danielle,

Are you ok?

I know that I have these stress things that are what the Doc's call: bartholomus glands, blockage.

Don't know if this is you. I know mine have been related to stress.

I hope you don't have an STD, but let us all know. You are at high risk if you are having sex with WS. But haven't a lot of us???

Nothing for YOU to be ashamed of ... hope you are okay.

OH YEAH, lemonman rocks. Get tested. ASAP. I did.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Hi Dani,
I am really sorry you are having to go through this. I wanted to let you know that if they are unable to get a swab from the sores for possible herpes to ask them to do the Western Blot. It is a blood test and will tell you whether its herpes 1 or 2 if that is what it could possibly be. Take care of yourself

Dani,
I have wondered at time when the consequences of my xWS's affair will ever stop. It would seem like I had heard it all...felt it all...experienced it all...only to have something else come up that totally blind-sided me.

I got a call at home around 9:30pm one evening from my Primary Care Doctor. I was struggling with whether or not my WS was having an affair at that time. My dr. went on to tell me that my annual pap test had shown that I had "trich". I asked her if that was sexually transmitted. She said typically it is, but "sometimes it can generate in the body on its own." I had never had any kind of an STD before! I hadn't even had a yeast or urinary tract infection before! She said that both myself and my husband would need to be treated with a round of medication. It was easily treatable, but both partners had to be treated. She asked if I wanted to tell him or should she? I told her I'd like her to tell him and I handed the phone to him.

He just sat there calmly,listening, said "OK...good-bye" I was hysterical. He didn't see what I was upset about. He "hadn't done anything wrong!" Did I want to tell him something about MY behavior???? MY sexual behavior???!!! I raged about how dare he jeopardize my health and wellbeing by having unprotected sex with this little wh..re. He still was denying there even was an affair. (I later found out that the OW was 6 months pregnant with his alleged child at the time of this discussion!)

When the truth about the affair came out at a later time, I confronted him about his lying and jeopardizing my health. He said that he "knew" she didn't have any STDs because her prenatal blood tests didn't show any. Trich is one of those STDs that can't be detected through blood. It is detected through a smear.

I was also concerned about whether or not to try and contact the OW about the STD. While it has minimal impact on a non-pregnant woman, it can affect the baby pre-natally and during delivery (early delivery, thinning placenta, possible blindness for the baby). I did mention this info to my WS, but didn't really trust him to convey the info to the OW. I realized it wasn't really my business, but I didn't want an innocent child to possibly pay the consequences of two "guilty" parents' choices. I eventually decided not to contact the OW. I figured she'd just think I was lying anyhow!

I counted my blessings that the condition was so easily treatable. But, I knew I couldn't assume that all was well until several months, one year, etc of regular tests for STDs was done. Then there was the first time after all this when I went to a new doctor. The questionaire "Have you ever had an STD before?" I felt so humiliated, embarassed, and rageful at that moment. I knew it wasn't "personal", but here was another unexpected issue resulting from my xWS's affair.

Dani, I'm sorry that you are having to struggle with this crap. I try to remind myself that I did nothing shameful. But, I get tired of paying a price for loving my xWS. Hopefully, you won't have an STD. And don't ever worry about something being "too personal" here. You warned everybody up front about the topic. I don't think that there's many of us here that haven't had to face this possibility. And we are good people...and so are you!