You are doing just fantastic lady!

MF,

Was a DNA test ever done on OC to be sure WH is the bio dad? Sorry,don't know if you covered this already or not.

O

i cant get the darn mower to start! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I'm not strong enough to pull the cord all the way up! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I give up for tonight, will go back out tomorrow!

OG, yes, the DNA test came back in May sometime...99.9999% his! He sounded REAL upset about that one! NOT!

he's just pathetic...over there wollowing in his own pity! POOR BABY! WHAAAAAAAA! WHAAAAAAAA!

I did call him a bit ago and asked him about the air filters upstairs...she was sitting right next to him I am sure! I kinda had a bit of fun while I had him on the line too! I'm so bad! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And mean! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

OK, how do you review the previous posts on this thing? I cant see what everyone said and I cant remember either! UGH! I will have to come BACK again!

My kids are upset with me now cuz I signed them up for VBS...and they want to just veg out all summer long in the meantime, driving me INSANE! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I've just gotta ask.

How does he try to shove his tongue down your throat if you don't let him see you?

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I just pictured him shoving his face in the door crack waggling his tongue in the air grunting and moaning.

If you look back at the previous posts, you will see that he came in the house a few weeks ago to visit the kids...at one point we were in the kitchen talking and he tried to kiss me...I pulled away at that moment and he hasn't been in the house since that weekend...this was Labor day weekend...That Saturday!

since then, I wont let him in the house...he drives up the kids go out, he drops them off, the kids come in...One time he had to ring the bell to drop a toy off and I cracked the door...he just looked like a sad puppy...I then shut the door and went back to my business...

Does that explain it Susan?

I like Mojo's idea better. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think you're more on the target with OW "fishing" by accusing him than I was.

Dobie

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Oh, laughing too hard, can't breathe! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

MF4M, I've been following your thread as a lurker because I have no good advice to offer. I just couldn't resist posting to this, though. The mental picture! Too funny!

Just wanted to add my two cents...

The WS and the OP once they are without the BS remind me of a saying I used to hear a long time ago...

"They are two ticks without a dog..."

LOLOLOLOL!

Yea, he has done the trying to stick his head thru the cracks of the door before...In Feb, he came by the house on Valentines Day...it was dark, couldn't see who it was...so opened the door a crack...to my disappointment it was the alien <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

He stuck his foot in the door, then tried to reach in a kiss me! YUCK! I just slammed the door on his foot! WHOOPS! he later called, left a message saying "i drove all this way to wish you a happy VDay and you just slammed the door on me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> ummm, who aksed you to come by here!

It's always the same song and dance with this man...I truely believe he has lost his marbles!

HEY! I got my mower started! But the grass is so dang long, it keeps dying on me! and it's ONLY 95 degrees outside...so it hink i will wait till night fall to go back out...I am actually enjoying this stuff! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

More than happy to inject some humor around here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

MF4Me- I updated your situation with my H last night- he thought it was awesome you were doing things for yourself. We both had watched you two on the tv and its the first time I've seen my husband yell at a television. He doesn't even yell during sports events- which I personally find bizarre, because I yell like a banshee when my teams are playing. What's the point in watching if you can't let loose?
Whoah, got sidetracked..I have flaky pregnancy brain, ya know!

Anyhoo... it really does make me happy to see you doing all these new things. You are doing just fabulous.

Thanks Mojo...I hope you are feeling well!

So, here is the latest! Last I talked to the alien was Sunday...

Haven't heard from him...dont care to either...yesterday phone rings...it's my cell...it's him..I dont answer it...then house phone rings...I answer it...I had decided to be cheerful and pleasant and drive him nuts...

Well, as soon as I hear his voice I get completely repulsed...he asks if the kids are here...ummm, where else would they be? he wants to speak to them...we are playing baseball I tell him and he says "oh how nice, your having FUN...I'm working my BUTT off and your are having FUN"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

so I put DS6 on the line...then DS4...then he hands me the phone...WH asks if DS9 wants to talk to him...I ask him and he says NO...I relay that to him and he says "why not" I told him he wasn't feeling well!

The conversation turns ugly with him telling me it is all my fault that he is where he is...that I PUSHED him there...I simply ask/tell him "oh, did I DRIVE your car to her house, did I drive you to that NH so you could go in and WORK with her, did I dial her number from the ER for you to call her, did I make you come home to me that day and tell ME that you wanted to go see her?, did I do all these things for you Ed?"

ummmm, well NO...

He also keeps harping on the fact that HE will have to pay for this and that and bla bla bla...I said, "Ed these are YOUR children...YOU are responsible for them, just as I am...I did not impregnate another woman...you CHOSE that"

THEN he says "well, we were ONLY suppposed to have TWO CHILDREN...you got YOURSELF pregnant with Aaron" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I said "WHOA, wait a MINUTE buddy...first of all...I told you I was ovulating that night...I told you to pull out...your words were...It felt too good...second of all...we are MARRIED...we planned to have three children, just not so close in age...YOU on the other hand went out and created another child out of wedlock during YOUR A..."

his words "well, she told me she couldnt' get pregnant" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

OMG...this is getting absolutely NO WHERE!

THEN...here we go AGAIN...he says...well, we CAN still stay married! WTF??? Oh really? how's that ED? well, we can just be roomates? Oh and I am just supposed to let you go behind my back...or rather I guess you can just do it right in front of me with OW...he says "well, no I need to figure out a way to control myself in that aspect...I cant even remember the last time we had sex"

I told him I had NO intentions of EVER being with him again...the thought repulses me...I am so done with the reconcilation stuff...I am moving on and I am sorry if you dont like it...I am sorry if you are not happy...I am sorry that YOU chose your life...You also chose MY LIFE as well, but I am learning to deal with it...now you must deal with YOUR consequenses...I told him it is going to take me YEARS to get over what he has done...but I WILL heal some day and HE will not be there to pick me up...I am happy now with out him...

He on the other hand is NOT happy...He convinces himself that OW is wonderful...I asked him if she knew he calls me every two weeks and wants to come home...he then said "i am sure your FRIEND will call her..." I told him I dont know WHO is calling her, but it is not my friend...My friends have much more class than that and they dont even know her name or where she works...He said someone is calling her and telling her that he doesn't want to be with her and doesn't care about her, yada yada yada...I dsaid "isnt't hat the truth?" He said sarcastically...NO, she's WONDERFUL! uh huh! WHATEVER

The man had me so worked up with all his comments last night...I go to my therapist today Thank GOD!

Tell me...why does he do this? Why does he call me every few weeks and says we CAN work this out...I am so done with all this...I dont even want to MOVE far away with him...but WHY does he do this to me? Why can HE just move on as he CHOSE this life...he hasn't bought a house...he is sitting on that one STILL! alothough two weeks ago he had found the PERFECT house <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> but yet, he didnt' buy it...why is he looking at expensive houses...on 10 acres...why cant he just get an apt? I dont get this man...he is very dilusional and very sick!

God help ME and HIM!

Maybe in Ed's ideal world he can be like those polygamists and set each family up on the 10 acre property and he can just go between the two; keep both. Of course you, as first wife, would get the nicer, fancier house. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Hehehe don't even say it, he'd actually try and do it!

mom, to me it seems he just finds any opportunity he can to throw the blame to you and you only. You really came on top not having him around anymore. His fantasy land must really suck now.

((((mom)))

There is some kind of payoff in these calls for him. That is why he continues. He is still able to push your buttons.

Don't get sucked into these discussions/arguments and blaming.

Hang up the phone or don't answer.

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I try so hard NOT to get into it with him...I think that I am not giong to answer the phone, but then I think he will throw that in my face during court...I have to play it safe, so I figure I will answer the phone, and be polite, but then he pushes the buttons...I think in his own sick twisted mind he does believe it is my fault

I also think that after hearing that comment about my baby boy who is now almost five...the fact that he even brught up us only having two children..that tells me that he and OW have been talking he SHE has convinced him that I am the demon in getting MYSELF pg with our baby boy...HE has NEVER mentioned the fact that aaron was a mistake...we have always considered Aaron a gift to us...he is the sweetest baby boy on earth...sooooo loving...so full of life and for him to throw that in my face...that hurt...He would never say anything bad about Aaron...THAT tells me that the OW is messing with his mind...maybe he did mention that Aaron wasn't PLANNED...but we loved him from DAY ONE...then maybe OW statted with her stuff and told him that I got myself PG...RIGHT!

He also accused ME of calling him DRUNK the other night...OMG! I dont even drink...I did call him to ask him about the Air filters...I messed with his head and I was very sarcastic with him, but I was NOT drunk...He said he would use that in court...

I think he is scared...he knows he will lose bigtime in court...he has nothing to gain...

He questioned me giong to SAT this weekend...he has convinced HIMSELF that I am going for the sole purpose of hooking up wtih someone...I told him he could think what he wants to think...but what I do on my OWN time is MY business, not his...and what he does is HIS business...I dont care what he does anymore...

I dont think ANYONE is calling that OW...I think she is playing the man...and he is falling for it...I Would like to call the OW...but I wont step down to HER level...I also will not call HIM and tell him NOT to call me anymore cuz then he will KNOW it has bothered me...

I never thought I could feel this way towards my OWN H...but he has really dug himself a hole...he cant live with his OWN choices...

what to do? why cant he just make this as easy as possible for the kids sake...He punishes them to punish me...those poor babies...

He knew what needed to be done to restore your marriage. He chose not to do those things. Clearly, he will keep reaping what he has sown.

He keeps wanting his fixes from you. Negative attention.

Keep getting stronger yourself. You could just repeat the old mantra..that he does in fact know what he had to do to fix this. But, if it is really to late then you need to not put yourself in the position to engage by taking those calls and listening to his crap.

Look with hope to a brighter future for you and your boys.

Read this again to yourself.

While I agree with you about your husband, I also can see thru your posts that you are also playing this "game." Stop doing this. You said you messed with his head.

Look, if there is a possibility for the marriage, then messing with him and being sarcastic will not help. If it is indeed over with and you are done, then messing with him just wastes time out of your day. If it is indeed over, ask him about the filters, get the answer, and then say you have to go and hang up.

Anytime he calls, and wants to talk about anything that isnt business or kid related, then just bow out immediately ("Ed, we will no longer discuss this. I have to go.").

Stop playing the game also. Just as was said above, there is a payoff for him by this continuing like this. But you are also getting a payoff. Stop it.

Either make a decision to go dark and leave open the possibility of him removing his cranium from his waste disposal unit....or....go dark and get on with your life.

Al the rest is just crap. Either way you go, it is now time you leave this sordid mess in the past.

In His arms.