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Regain your composure coach.....you were *** awesome when you were composed. Prof's D knows what's going on too? Do you think there's a chance that it has anything to do with a "good" surprise for Prof's W? That's my optimism--probably far-fetched, but sometimes ya gotta reach deep LOL. It sounds very weird to me that both your D and Prof's D would know about it. Keep your composure coach--you're awesome when you're composed <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Edited to remove what Sage removed in an earlier post. My apologies Sage and everyone--I've seen it written and thought it was allowed. Won't happen again.
Last edited by LovingBoundaries; 06/12/05 07:51 PM.
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Coach, you're straddling a boundary between righteous indignance and gratuitous nastiness. See if you can't keep clear which side you're on.
GC
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To which she responds that she is just so sorry for “everything” and haven’t Laura and my wife yet explained things to me…and that this is a really private matter that I was not ever intended to know anything about! This is really strange ... "not ever intended to know anything about" what does this mean? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Got me, for sure. Pep
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Coach - I think you are doing just fine. It is very hard when you have all of these other "players" in the game. Keep calm and stick to your boundaries.
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FIM used to be my hero but now has mightily been replaced with Coach. Wow...I'm so impressed!
If I were accused of something I didn't do and was told I had to leave the bedroom and change the sheets before I did, I'd say "no way!"
I think AMMartin has a point. This guy might have had problems in this area before which may explain his daughter getting involved.
How thrilled you must be that your daughter is getting into this nightmare of a family. I hope she has the wisdom and maturity to see red flags all over the place.
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Hi, Pep and Coach.
Quote:
======================
what does this mean?
======================
Seeing as how the entire meeting appears contrived, one would suppose that the tryst was either a replay of a previous event, possibly for 'closure', or the consummation of an existing emotional affair or long-term attraction.
My guess given the limited facts.
Hang in there Coach.
God bless
Gimble
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect.
-An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
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jph - I don't think the daughter is marrying into this family. I think these are the parents of the daughter's friend.
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jph - I don't think the daughter is marrying into this family. I think these are the parents of the daughter's friend. Which out 2 just make it easier 2 s-can the lot of them... -ol' 2long
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Believer..thank you for the correction. I should have read the story twice.
Gosh, this makes it worse. Coach paid for this slime bag's dinner..the nerve...
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jph - I had to read it several times to get the story. It is somewhat complicated.
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Good grief.<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
I don't know how you are not having it out full force with your W coach.I would have listened to her spiel,evaluated it then decide what to do next based on her "story".You're a cool cucumber that's for sure.
Keep us posted.
O
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
---------------
~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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I guess what I don't get...and there is alot I don't get here!!! Is that the wife told Coach one story of where she was going but obviously another story to her daughter...who tells here father the version the mother told her. But then later calls back to Coach and tries to get him to hear the mother latest story. WOW!!! I'm going to bed....I hope this is just one big misunderstanding but if so....she should have been more forceful with what actually happened.
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Ok Coach, what r the chances a huge misunderstanding is in the making? Why would both daughters be involved to this degree?
Something isn't adding up. Got a B-day soon?
L.
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Yep - I'm thinking along the same lines. I think some quiet time to just let people do what they do when they're guilty as sin, or misunderstood.
I'd much rather take the strong stance on the boundaries that Coach has, but instead of taking the abrasive, angry, obscene route, just state that he's not ready to be lied to or appeased and that he's needing a break from all the pressure from extra-characters in the marriate relationship that she's bringing in at this point.
This feels like a time to be still. To tell everyone to shut up; that you don't want any spin.
You know Coach - if she hasn't cheated on you, I'm not sure she'll want to be married to you anyway - this is pretty hateful behavior.
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Ok Coach, what r the chances a huge misunderstanding is in the making? Why would both daughters be involved to this degree?
Something isn't adding up. Got a B-day soon?
L. OMG I was thinking this same thing a page ago... Granted it doesn't add up, but wouldn't it suck if they were just all planning a surprise party for coach?
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Not very likely. Why would prof be involved in a birthday party? Why wouldn't wife call on time?
It's not hanging together -- and I'm wondering why someone just doesn't email or text message him an explanation.
"Virtue -- even attempted virtue -- brings light; indulgence brings fog." -- C.S. Lewis
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That's ridiculous- a party for Coach? PLz..
His wife should NEVER be involved in a 'private matter' that he 'was never intended to know about' with a married man who may as well be called a geographical bachelor. His wife's reaction and STRANGE silence on the matter-- has she even tried to explain, really?-- is extremely telling. She KNOWS she nuked the hell out of their marriage's boundaries.
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The birthday party thing was much more a joke than serious...
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What if he asked if her and daughter if they wanted to see the college but the daughter had other things to do. The wife accepts but then realizes that Coach may take it wrong and tells a white lie(after an affair there is no such thing)and says that she is elsewhere...thinking its only for a short time and no one would know. Off course the timing of the turned off phone at the same time is a problem but I am just throwing darts out there to see if they stick. But the comment about Coach should not have known or something" is a problem...the phone being turned off at the same time is a problem but her reaction struck me as maybe this is just a white lie that got out of control not the usual cheating BS getting their hand caught in the cookie jar. JMHO!! But what do I know. Good Luck!!!
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Just trying to look at it from different angles. The one thing a BS does not want t/d is appear like one who 'jumps to conclusions' or appear irrational. You know what a WS can do with ammo like that. I trust Coach will get the true story soon enough. He's just got the rest of us on pins and needles and of course the speculation is running rampant. Ok Coach, we are here for you. I was kidding about the B-day. Sending support out in the deep blue. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Aloha, L.
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