Can you believe it, the affair is over, i`ts been two months since H told the truth after three yrs. She said, you must think i`m a *****, but this was bothering me for the last two yrs. I just listened to her, then o.k. an we hung up, she made me so sick, she brought all those bad feelings back.<BR> H can`t figure out why this would bother me so much... I don`t understand any thing any more. My marriage feels like i`ts over, he really wants to move on with us, but I can`t I still have bad visions of the two of them, all the lies, I was home with the kids while he was over OW house having sex after he told me he`s going out with the guys...It makes my stomach jump inside... <BR> This sure was the worst thing that was ever done to me... How could he... His answer to that is why he did it for so long was he wanted to see if he could get away with it an he did.. H says he wasn`t attracted to her.. HUH!!!! I don`t believe it. Thanks for listening. I haven`t posted in a while, but it still eats me up inside....<BR>

I can imagine how you could feel more violated. <P>At least she seems to have a conscience.<P>How did the affair end? How did you find out?

I found a finger nail in his car and my 9yr old daughter seen it too, so I asked him about it, an he denied it for a week, I came home from work an he said 'I haven`t been truthful with you" I knew what was coming after that, Yes he told me she was a really nice person, she is as nice as me, OW an him would talk about things and she would have the same answers as I would.... about different things.. How sick if you ask me..<BR> Thanks for replying to me trustntruth

How incredibly tacky of the OW to call you. You have every right to be angry. I don't buy your H's explanation, either.<P>------------------<BR>--Girlfriend in a coma (I know, I know it's serious)

Gross. So she wears phony fingernails. And she has the same kinds of responses to situations as you do. Well what kind of woman is he attracted to?<P>Does your H know that she called? Was there any discussion afterwards?<P>She doesn't have a heck of a respect for married people, and seems to do what ever she pleases - I mean, she didn't think it was out of her boundaries to call you.<P>Maybe there should be a chapter in Life Sciences Classes in High School, about appropriate behavior and boundaries in affairs? <P>How about a chapter on commitment! I feel your frustration, and we can't change what happened, but we sure can vent and then try and move on.<P>Hugs to you today, you've been doing terrific, don't let that OW stop your progress. <P>[This message has been edited by trustntruth (edited September 25, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by trustntruth (edited September 25, 1999).]

My h had 9 OW in his first marriage. We ran into one last night. She is the sister of our BIL. YUCK.<P>She pretends and I pretend that we each don't know, but we know. We ran into her last night at the restaurant as we sat and reviewed the marriage builders newsletter - and talked about the MB principles.<P>I just wanted to walk out of there and quit. I was so angry. And my husband looked so embarassed. She came in with her husband and he looked like he wanted to crawl under the table. <P>She's so stupid, she kept trying to carry on a conversation with us from 2 aisles over. Hee hee how sweet. Uggghhh.<P>It was embarassing enough having her holler across the room to us over and over and over again about the football game, the weather, and anything she could think of. I just kept smiling at her and acting like nothing was wrong. I wanted to kill my husband.<P>My husband did say to me ' "You probably are thinking you didn't need this tonight, right?" RIGHT DUH NO KIDDING - too bad you were such a slut and every where we go I have to be reminded of it - that is what I thought. But I smiled and said, "yeah."<P>Uggghhhh!!!!! I do know how you feel.

Oh yes I told him she called an he says an what was said? I told him she did all the talking and he says why didn`t you ask her any questions, as if I should be even talking to this $%$^& I told him I want to see her, I want to know what she looks like, he won`t tell me her last name, he thinks it`s not important HUH! But it`s ok for her to know where we live my phone # etc. I can`t believe it.....

Is the stage set for a good ole' lovebusting session? Then get a plan to get away or something because that gives her points and you withdrawals.....<P>Life isn't fair sometimes. Gotta deal with it! <P>Fryin' pan? 2 x 4? <P>I hereby crown him nit wit for a day.