I've had trouble since I moved out just making myself go to bed. Sleep comes easily enough when I get there, but just getting myself to go there is hard.

Of course, it's a unhid hide-a-bed that I'm sleeping on, because, as you all know, a queen matress and box spring will not fit in a minivan.

(rent a truck? Yeah, I know, u-haul and all that. Later. I will. really)

But, the quality of the sleeping surface is not the problem. The problem is that I seem to be waiting for something.

Do you separated folks have that feeling too?

-AD

Try melatonin. I just took mine and am going to bed.

Does Wal-mart carry it? (they are 24x7 - and it's 1am here)
Or do I have to go to a "health food" store?

I did go to bed. It's OTC, but I'd get the best you can find. I suffer from sleep disorders -- and I find it's much better than going to the hard stuff (lorazipam, and the one that begins with "a"), which can make one feel pretty odd the next day.

It's not a sleeping pill, per se -- it sends "night" signals to the brain, allowing one to go to sleep under reasonable circumstances. Especially good for jet lag.

I have this problem, too. My WH is the one who left, I am still in our house in the same bed, but I still have a hard time making myself go to bed.

You described it exactly as I feel - it's as if I am waiting for something. I wish I had some good advice for you. I have taken Benadryl about an hour before bedtime. It does make me a little sleepy, but it doesn't solve the 'waiting for something' problem.

If you find something that works, please let me know!

I also have a hard time going to bed...Then when I'm there, I dont want to go to sleep...why? just to wake up to the same stuff tomorrow!

I've been taken simply sleep by Tylenol, but lately THAT doesn't help...I wake up several times at night and cant get back to sleep...I am so afraid to try an RX cuz I dont want to become dependent on a sleeping pill...

I might try something new though cuz these sleepless nights are killing me!

Why not try 'RESTAVIT' or something similar thats got 25mg of Doxylamine Succiante in it.......... not bad and not anywhere near as foggy as the scripted meds .. which I wont take no matter what the docs say.

waiting for something

AD, I am not seperated but your phrase strikes a chord with me.

I am 'waiting for something' all the time. Its in part braced for a punch, in part waiting for Christmas.

Bizarre.

Recovery life is certainly pregnant with SOMETHING. Just don;t know what.

All blessings.

Waiting...
Yep, it is 9pm here. My day tomorrow is jam packed, I should be in bed. Instead I sit here, waiting. It is like if I stay up one more hour I can be awake when ________________ happens.

Nothing is going to happen....

Your not alone..
Danielle

My ex and I were divorced. I kept "waiting" for my ex to come to bed...to feel peaceful...and loved...and normal..next to the warm body of a man I had loved so much. Even if my mind knew that wasn't going to happen.....my heart was still hoping. I finally put a pillow next to me and wrapped my arms around it. Not a person, but at least something to hold onto.

Also, prior to our divorce, I would often lie awake to see if he was coming home that night, or not. Come to find out, his "second job" was an OW. (No wonder the extra money never seemed to make it home!) I got into a bad habit of being half asleep, listening to see if his truck pulled up into the driveway.

Sleep problems can also be related to depression. Depression can affect our ability to fall asleep, and/or stay asleep.

One other reason I avoided going to bed was that I could no longer distract myself as easily from thinking and feeling about my loss. I could go on "automatic" through most of the day...working...doing...keeping busy..etc. But at night in bed...it was me...alone..in the darkness..with all my thoughts and feelings running havoc! I did end up using a prescribed sleeping pill. I didn't want to become "addicted" to a pill, but sleep deprivation has some pretty severe consequences, too.

I hope you find something that works for you.

I think this is my problem. I can't help what I start to think about when I begin to doze off. I don't have health insurance right now (thanks, WH) to get a prescription for ADs or sleeping pills. Benadryl helps a little, but I can still think through it.

Plus, with all the chaos involved in WH's affair, it's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. It just feels like 'something' is going to happen. It kind of reminds me of when my kids were babies and I'd only half sleep, because I might need to jump up and be ready for action.

How long does it take for that feeling to go away?

Well, it's 1am again.

Last night, I was still up at 2:30 when the power went off. I went out to wal-mart and bought some candles. Power was still off when I got home. Probably went to sleep at 3:30 or 4am. Then up at 9.

I think it really is that I'm waiting in some way for my wife. But, I'm supposed to be in Plan B, right?

On to my other thread for an update...

-AD

A.D., 'supposed to be' and 'reality' can be two different things as far as feelings go. I am also in Plan B, week three as of today at 6 p.m. (but who's counting?). I still think about WH, way too much, especially at night, but I can't help it.

Adultery really, really sucks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />