I am so afraid for my kids (8,6,3) if I go through with a D. We will have to live about 9 hours from their Dad -- I need to be close to family and the location of his job won't offer that. Anyway -- can anyone give me some reassurance that my kids can handle this? I am suffering from such guilt of what this will do to them -- I am so tired of the emotion "abuse" (I use that word very loosely - just couldn't think of a better term) that I have suffered due to H, A and OW/OC drama that I no longer feel I am loosing very much. I know several of you have young children and have made it through -- it would really be helpful for me to hear such experiences.



Thanks!

Hi tryin! Let me ask you one question first? Isn't your H in MS with you NOW? Why would he HAVE to move back to TX after the Divorce? If he is in MS now, couldn't he STAY there for the sake of his kids?

Now, I felt the guilt for a very long time before I came to the realization that it is better for my kids to live in a stable home with one parent than in an unstable home with two...Are they happy? NO, they want us to be married no matter what...but as someone once said to me, it is not up to them...

They will adjust...they wont ever be OK, but they will adjust...My kids are doing fine rightnow...We are getting used to a new routine and my only advice is to get into a routine and stay in it for THEIR sake...I take them to their activities, parties, etc...

You'll be ok...but YOU have to realize that...we cant tell you that...dont worry about the kids...they will adjust...

The 9 hour trip is going to be hard...and I would ask that in the D papers you put on there that your H must drive to YOU to see his kids! You do not meet him half way or you do not take THEM to see him...

I wanted to move back to SAT, but my lawyer told me that I would have to make the 2.5 hour trip, or at least half way every other weekend...and I will not do that to my children and my H wont compromise with me...It's all about him...BUT, because I am filing in the city we reside in, that is where the kids will be meeting him...

sooo, if you FILE in MS, where you H is RIGHT NOW, then you should probably be able to have an agreement where H MUST drive to YOU to see the kids...incovenient, yes, for HIM...but do not make it inconvenient for the kids...I would love to go back to SAT,that is wher my family is...BUT, I wont do it for my kids sake...

unlike my H, I will always pyut my kids first and if that means staying here, then I will stay here...just so they do not have to make that trip eveyr other weekend...

Hi,

I wouldn't say I've "made it" yet. But its about a year (since we separated) and my kids are doing really, really well. I am so proud of them. They have showed incredible strength. In fact I would say that their strength is what has kept me going.

Their marks in school are as good as if not better than before. Socially they are doing really well and are such wonderful little people.

When my marriage fell apart I was expecting their world to crumble. But they are amazing, if you give your kids the chance they will thrive regardless of how difficult the situation. Read some books, and always try to think how your kids would see things before you do it (or say it!). Be positive and try to find joy in your own life and they'll do just fine! They just want you to be happy too.

Of course there were some "issues" for us to deal with (and I'm sure their will be plenty more) but we've dealt with them with total openess and honesty. I think this was a really important part of our new life. Fortunately I also able to keep their life the same as much as possible. Same house, same friends, same school. I know it a lot of cases that is not possible but I think it really helped them adjust.

All the best and keep being their rock! They'll appreciate you for it and I'm sure they'll do just fine.

Cheers,

Miker