I'm not too worried about the getting laid part, its the romance that I miss. Through all this with WH, SF has always been a strong connection. But the romance is not there, the tender to touch of making love.

Stop being so negative ladies..you will get SF again, sooner or later.

I mean I'd love to do some advanced Egyptian PT right now but the bubs is just too active and causing a lot of pain apparently .... and I've forgotton how anyway <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

TT, my wonderful, clever and much missed father in law agreed with you.

Nominally a catholic, he was an mature student of comparative religion when working as a magistrate in India after the partition and withdrawal of Empire.

He said to me over a pint of Simpkiss and a scotch " I've met better livin' Sikhs, Buddhists and muslims , even heathens that makes me think my God wouldn't waste such goodness and morality on the damned. I think there will be some surprises on the day of judgment: some who think they're saved will get a shock, and some who don't will get a smile !. After all its God who knows men's hearts, not us. "

Not even slightly scripturally sound, but I can relate to his thoughts.

He was a great man and I miss him often.

TT,
the number and the rapidity of the responses you have received to this post should be an indication to you of the level of interest you will experience, when you choose to get out there! Somehow or another I am thinking that if I made a similar post, it would likely languish in obscurity.



"You gotta have a good imagination,
If you are gonna live a life of hope"
Jack Ingram

Dont apologize to me. You neither offended me, nor hurt me.

And I do understand what you are saying. Most of the planet "inherits" their religion from their parents. That is true.

My question really should be better termed "Do you know Jesus?" Not a religion, not a set of rules, not a good moral code. Do you know Jesus? Jesus isnt a religion...He is about a relationship.

I know Him. We talk, we communicate, we spend time together. It is why He created us...to spend time with Him.

Sure, there are many people on the planet that try to lead good, moral lives. And some come pretty close. But no one makes it. Not one. We ALL have done bad things, all have missed the mark.

You see, when we talk about heaven having more than Christians in there, then I wonder what the criteria to get in is? I hope I am making sense here. But listen closely for a second...

For those that say that others get in also, then does that mean EVERYONE gets in? Or is there some standard that they have come up with.

"Well, I think all good people get in." Okay, let's look at that. What is "good?" Who is "good?" You see, to take this approach makes us actually not good. Why? Because we become self-centered. We begin to measure our goodness by others. And then we say "I deserve to go to heaven because I didnt murder anyone, I didnt cheat on my wife..." But then my wife says "Sure, I cheated on my husband, but I didnt steal from anyone..." And then a thief says "Sure I stole, but I didnt kill anyone." And then the murderer says "Okay, I killed that girl, but I wasnt like Jeffrey Dahmer and ate my victime."

Dont you see? We all sin. What makes one sin worse than another? Who decides which sin is worse? How many sins or what types of sins keep us from heaven.

The approach that heaven is open to more than those that follow Jesus is a self-centered world view (I am not bashing you, so please dotn take it that way). It is a world view that sounds nice on the front, but at its core screams "me, me, me."

There is a story i nthe Bible about a woman that came to pray. She prayed for the Lord to forgive her for her many sins...and she laid herself out there in obedience to Him. Next to her was a "religious" guy, who then prayed "I thank the Lord that I am not like her." She went away with her sins forgiven. He saw no need for his to be.

That is the point. That is why, I really dont push Christianity, or a particular church. All I ask is "Who is Jesus to you? Do you know Him?"

Just because a father and mother take their child to church, does not make them a Christian...anymore than me sleeping in the garage tonight makes me a Ford.

So, again, not to hijack your thread...but I think if you can answer that question...who is Jesus...then I think the answers to many of your other questions will become very clear.

In His arms.

At this point, I can only think of WH screwing OW and doing similar things to her that I thought were unique to me. This still makes me nauseous so I try to block it out of mind. Perhaps if he learns I am starting a new intimate relationship, he'll start to think of me again while f*cking OW #2. At this point, I doubt it but there certainly has not been a lack of surprises in my life this past year...unfortunately, they have been for the most part negative surprises so I am ready for something positive.

Muels

Mortarman - I agree completely that many who go to church should not consider themselves Christians. My own grandmother was a prime example of this, yet I loved her. She went to church, when able bodied, every day. But she had a wicked tongue. When I flew back to HK without paying her a further visit with my newborn baby, she told my mother that she wished the plane would go down with me. What a vindictive [censored]. Nothing so evil would ever slip from my mouth. But she had a relationship with Jesus! I've already promised NCW I will start reading the bible, I will keep my promise. However, how on earth have we digressed to this ... TT

Yes, we did digress didnt we? Probably my fault. Sorry!! One quick note to what you were saying, and we can get back to the discussion on sex <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />...I am not sure reading the Bible will help much. There are many that read it, but still dont accept Jesus. If you do read it, or listen/read sermons etc, please do so with the mind of answering that question to yourself...who is Jesus? (and note: if you would like to discuss this some more or have questions, you could start another thread and I would be happy to converse)

On your grandma...she may well be saved, even with that tongue. Being saved does not mean you dont sin. My tongue has gotten the best of me on occasion. And I continue to do hurtful and sometimes destructive things. Your grandma may be saved not because of anything she has done, but because she had accepted Jesus and He was working on her. It is a process. You dont get to heaven by being perfect. You get to heaven because of the One who is perfect.

Now, back to SF...

In His arms.

TT - you and my wife think alike. However, she has been led into numerology and other stuff by someone she admires. (her boss - a female)

I, too, have trouble reconciling all that the church teaches, but I do know that the church teaches what the church believes, and that what God said in many cases is very different from what we interpret.

I might one day come with questions in my quest to win back my WW. She will need to get her feet on the ground, first, though.

Thanks for your post.

FAR

Sex, folks, lets talk about SEX!!!!!!!

Yes, please. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well.. I may not be used for monkey sex by Squiddy later as she's gone to Karate lesson tonight. Ah well, I could use the rest <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

...What was that ? What do you mean demotivating ? Wha' ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

At least someone is gettin' some. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

[disco stu mode] oh yeah [/disco stu mode]

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Back to the original question or post...I cannot even imagine having SF with my H ever again...YUCK...thinkking of it gives me the heebee jeebees! he's boring anyhow...I mean really boring...I want to have FUN in the bedroom <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

So, I had lunch with a male "friend" a few months ago...just friends, nothing else...he asked me later that evening "how important is sex to you? cuz I could do it 3-4 times a day" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> never spoke to this man again!

At that point, I realized that this is MY body and as much as some people can just jump into a bed and "do it" I cant...I have to feel intimate with the person...

Luckily, I am with OG, this is not a need that is screaming to me right now...I think I could go forever...sin't that pathetic...but with what my H has done, it just turns me off now...

I can only picture the way H ever did it, and frankly I cant do it that way anymore...I need cuddles and stuff!

OK, now H THINKS I am screwing someone daily now...in his dimented mind of his...He was FURIOUS that I would have a "lunch date" (never mind it was female, but he doens't know that) and then have them over to have sex! The man was livid! What do you think you are doing going on dates and having sex...I just let him rant and rave and later told my therapist...who laughed so hard...

Amazing...he has a BABY with the OW and he gets mad at ME for...what??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Yes, TT, you WILL get laid...your a female right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

What the heck is monkey sex? Am I missing out? Some married man had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to have crazy monkey sex with him to help me feel better about my divorce...gave him a few words and got the heck out of that situation. Anyways, I am very curious...are you guys using a gymnastics like approach to intercourse...intriguing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I was quoting my friend Faithful Follower !

But its just "abandoned" SF ! i.e fun and not very quiet <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

It will be nice to return to the consistent bedtime training I used to share with my WH and now will be sharing with one lucky man. My gymnastics background and current Ironman training should provide some advantages in the bedroom and perhaps will redefine "monkey sex" ( :

I just have to add my $.02 here...



I recently started on Zoloft for two reasons...

1) I am about to file for D on my WW, and the emotions are going to be overwhelming.

2) There is a noted side effect to taking the drug, namely, libido issues. I want to be untempted until I am free and clear from my marriage (I have been veeeerrrryy tempted lately)


Kind of killing two birds with one stone.


I have gone 6mo with no SF, save one ONS back in Feb - drunken, meaningless, empty revenge act.

I miss touching someone. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />



TM

having sex and making love with the one you love are 2 different things....will you get laid again, certainly and more so if you are a lady....but unless you are in love with the partner it is not going to be the same....i am living it weekly...i miss touching and kissing the one i love