Serious question. How many of you are fearful of not having sex again? During my WH's A, he was unable to perform and let me believe it was a side-effect of his medication. Given that I can't begin to imagine us reconciling (although miracles do happen) and that the thought of another man sharing my life whilst I am bringing up 3 young daughters seems almost ridiculous, I just can't help pondering on the 'WHEN' issue. Just back me up on this one - please!

LOL ! ROFL ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Just say what you think TT !!!

LOL !

Look...the only thing that stops you NOW is your own decency. A well travelled bra model with the sass and smarts you evidently have wouldn't have difficulty pulling IMO if you wanted to.

Squid and my SF life was hopeless for ages before her affair and killed finally dead by it.

And look what happened to us...

Your fidelity is a credit to you. Can you imagien how gutted your WH would be if he thought you were enjoying a SF life without him ? I reckon he'd be smashed.

tt,

This is always on my mind. Like, bOb, our SF was pretty much dead before the A, but now I can't seem to stop thinking about it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />(see my 'displays of affection...' thread).

I couldn't imagine letting another man into my life at the moment, because of the kids, and also the fact that I still love WH very much, in spite of everything. I just don't feel I could trust anyone that much. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I would be easy enough to go out and get 'laid'. But that wouldn't be the lifestyle for me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Alph

LOL, TT. Why doncha tell us how you really feel?!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Bob's right on here, you virtuous vixen, you! Your chastity makes your love(in') that much more valuable, and WH knows this. Imagine how cut he'll feel when you finally DO get some!! :: Pardon me while I laugh diabolically -- Mmmmwwwhhaaaaa hhhhaaaa hhhaaaa hhhaaa hhhaaaaaaaaaa! ::

Thanks for the laugh this mornin'. I know you were serious and I hope you don't mind that you made me smile. . . really big!

Hoping you get some soon (and me too!), <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


slh

Just thinking out loud folks. I think it was Aislinn's post earlier that made me ponder on just the possibility of it. I kissed another guy at Xmas - it was nice but I was very drunk. When I'm sober (which is 99.99999% of the time) it just seems like it will never happen. And it's a shame cos I like SF!

TT! LOL

Well,for me,I have to wait until I am divorced so that means at least another 5-6 months until this is all over.Maybe even longer.

I hope to have another relationship where this could happen for me but thankfully this need is not screaming at me to go find anyone and just do it! LOL

You'll just have to be patient like the rest of us.Patience is a virtue you know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> sigh.......

O

TT
you aint never going to have any trouble getting a leg over,be a jungle bunny, have a Long Wang, or go Horizontal Jogging.....LOl <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />


Lovely sincere women never do..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Us guys on the other hand............... *sigh* ..I think I remember

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I suggest you ask the famous '8-ball' ..... give it a good shake and see what 'answer' comes floating to the top ....


ummmmmmmmmmmmm

"Will TT EVER get laid again?"

.... ~~~~~~ shaking 8-ball~~~~~~~~

And the answer is:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
" chances are good"

there.....

are you happy now? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Pep - I believe everything you say so I'm going to bed happy! TT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My 8-ball just told me "VERY DOUBTFUL"!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry!!

edited to add: I was asking the 8 ball about me in this answer. It seems like it was directed elsewhere - but it was me. Too bad for me.

What is this 8-ball. Should I have one? Can you get them in Hong Kong? Are they made in China, LOL?
Foundareason - you're just meant to pretend that I will! Try and make me feel better! TT

google this

spikes 8 ball knows all

and hit "I'm feeling lucky" to get a site that answers all lifes difficult questions .....

My WH also associated his inability to perform with a reason other than the guilt he was experiencing secondary to his affairs. He said he was stressed at work. He would get aroused, we'd start, and then he'd go limp, get angry and even cry. There I was supporting him, saying everything was ok, that if he wanted I could go to the doc with him when in actuality he was just guilty of infidelity. It's funny because he now denies any affair when he was having these troubles yet was able to share details early on post d-day. I say BS...he is just trying to cover his a** as he knows that he already has done enough wrong and this will come back to bite him in the courts. Now, he has moved in with his 2nd affair/OW, a 2003 HS graduate, the one who ultimately led WH to leave me a year ago. It kills me to think how much sex those 2 are having while I have been dry for over a year....actually more if you count my WH's inability to perform for 7-8 months before d-day. And I do the, "well, back 4 years ago, I was feeling this way and doing this with WH." Will I ever feel that good again? Sucks.

I was a virgin up until WH and now I am left to ponder sex with another man. I finally did cross this boundary a second time with a man I made a connection with at a party a few weeks back. Initially, I felt guilty but what this experience made me realize that it is possible to connect on multiple levels with another man and also share passionate sex with someone other than WH. So much for my theory on one "soulmate". During sex, I wasn't thinking of WH, rather mesmorized by the body and mind in bed with me that night. Where this new relationship goes, I am not sure as this man happens to be a Navy Seal and is extremely busy with work as he will be shipped back out to Iraq soon. Regardless of what happens, this interaction brought my esteem to new levels after being dumped on for so long by WH. I have absolutely no regrets about my mariage to WH (were the best years of my life thus far) nor do I have regrets about moving forward at this time. I have tried really hard to save my marriage but it takes 2 and I was fighting alone for over a year. Our divorce will be finalized over the summer and I have a gut feeling that my WH will be engaged in a marriage/starting a fam soon thereafter with his current flame. Yuck.

TT...I am sure that when the time is right, you'll have a beautiful man in your arms and in your bed <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Cheers,

Muels

TT - I querried my 8 ball for you.

And the answer is..........




YES



Congratulations!

(really was YES - first shake and all!)

Go get'em, tiger!

Foundareason, I googled it and got 'very doubtful' but it did tell me my daughters will have happy lifes so that will do for tonight.
KJB - thanks for your reply. I think sometimes that regardless of our moral codes, religion, MB principles etc, we just want someone to make us feel desireable. Sounds like that possibility came true for you. Try 41 and 3 kids ! LOL

TT,

Are you as a Christian? If so, Jesus said He will supply ALL of your needs. Not some of them...all of them. I have a similar problem in my sitch, even though I am in recovery. Frustration is the rule of the day, week and month. But, I keep turning my eyes on Him, and somehow He is able to make me feel better and to see that my needs are being met...and the SF need will come at the right time. I am a two times a day kinda guy. The last 4 years of this mess and the on-again-off-again SF has been maddening at times.

So, what does that tell us? It tells us that we should rely on Him even more...even for this (SF). Before, SF was about us. Now make it about Him. It might be the sticking point that is holding back your blessing.

In His arms.

I wasn't thinking of WH, rather mesmorized by the body and mind in bed with me that night.

Squid told me almost the same words. She didn't think of me, only her OM.

She thinks of me now though <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mortarman - Turned out my WH was screwing OW whilst I was at church on Sundays with my girls. 16 months past Dday and that still troubles me. I live a good life and believe in God. I'm a bit dubious when it comes to religion because I don't believe heaven is only full of Christians. I've met too many beautiful buddists, hindus, muslims etc. Living in Asia and having travelled extensively, I feel justified in saying that. There are quite a few posters here with such conviction in their faith, I find it enviable, but at this stage in my life, I am not one of them. I believe religion is an inheritance. I reckon 95% of the world follow the faith their parents bestowed upon them. We trust our parents, right? I probably sound a terrible heathen to the likes of yourself - sorry. TT

God....I know how you feel TT. I miss everything about it. I miss having someone touch me and tell me how they feel about me. It is very frustrating and I also wonder if I will have have it again. It's been almost a year for me. YIKES!!!!!

Aaaaagh!!!! It's been only (only, sob) 4-1/2 months for me, but I miss it too. I guess my situation is unusual in that we had great SF right up until D-day. I'm 40 with 2 kids and it's not looking good for me, either. Am I destined to be an old, dried-up spinster schoolteacher???? I guess I'll have to get some granny glasses and high, button-necked dresses. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />