I read on a post somewhere about the "180 Plan". What exactly is that... and when and in what situation would you use it?
Thanks.

Blessings to you all,
Jane

Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to.
J. R. R. Tolkien

Hi Jane

I assume you mean Michelle Winer-Davis' divorce busting 180 strategy

Click the link for an outline.

Its not 'MB' per se, but I found it useful at a time when everything I sid or did seemed to tick off my Squid ( FWW).

All blessings !

ooh, ooh, that's it!! Thank you Mr. Bob. I will read the link. I might have more questions for you once I read and do my homework.

nnj, not sure I can help. Looks like the easiers strategy ever.
" If sh*t don't work, try the opposite".

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I did it over showing physical affection. Squid HATED it during her A and withdrawal so I switched it off. Became platonic, no 'ILY'. I care' instead etc.

Worked wonderfully in my case.

I 180ed a little too, if nothing else it made me feel better.

-Caren

Nonajemane,

In situations where the A is over, withdrawal is over, and things have not changed, the 180 strategy can be very empowering. The 180 degree doesn't put the BS in the role of "doormat" or "rejectee" the way that begging and pleading, and having relationship talks will do. I know the 180 degree can also be used when the financial independence for plan B is lacking – therefore the 180 degree list is a good interim strategy while trying to achieve the ability to use Plan B if necessary. It saves the spouse from becoming needy or clingy and doesn't create a situation where the WS is getting all their needs filled and the BS gets nothing.


The 180 degree list is only GUIDELINES because not all of the them may apply. The entire point of a 180 strategy is CHANGE e.g. if you are telling them you love them...stop saying it. If you not saying it, start saying it. So it's important to look at this list and apply it to each situation rather than follow it exactly. But this a good starting place and probably most of it will apply.

As someone has said earlier, “if something doesn't work for you, try the opposite”. And this is what the 180 strategy is all about: Guidelines to help you to STOP doing things that aren’t working for you and START doing things that may give you the desired results.

Suzet

You change ONLY if you are getting a negative (or no) response.
Don't change if it is working and getting good results.
Don't change just because it is on "the list".

As someone has said earlier, “if something doesn't work for you, try the opposite”. And this is what the 180 strategy is all about: Guidelines to help you to STOP doing things that aren’t working for you and START doing things that may give you the desired result
Exactly!