<BR>When I was in my early 20s and single I started dating a married man. We worked for the same company, but in different cities. He always bought me plane tickets to see him and he was always splurging on me. I was caught up in the excitement, but I eventually fell in love with him (or so I thought). He proclaimed his love for me and eagerly pursued me.<P>I know I should have known better, but I really didn't know the pain I could have caused his wife. He seemed to be enthralled with the excitement. He would put me on speaker phone in his home when his w was upstairs and he even installed a phone in his bathroom.<P>I ended up finding that he had many women at the same time. I was so humiliated and hurt.<P>I was happy to hear many years later that his W left him. I cannot fathom how much pain she went through, but I know he has never changed and she is much better off without him.<P>I have never had a desire to experience an affair from that point on and I've prayed many times for forgiveness. I wish I could change my behavior, but I can't. I can only live with the shame.<P>He called me a year ago (affair happened 10 years ago) when he learned I was divorced from my H. He told me he had a live-in girlfriend and a son my son's age. He said things were not going well with his relationship. I knew what he was getting at but I didn't play along. I wished him well and ended the call. I felt discust for this man after we hung up.<P>His marriage ended long after our affair ended (we were never discovered) and I know that doesn't exonerate me from contributing to an end, but knowing he was a real loser, made it easier to forgive myself.<P>I try not to think back to that year because I know I'm a different person today and I am not proud of the affair. I never really considered it an affair until today.<P>I started thinking this morning how some young girl can quite possibly pursue my future husband and not really think about the pain she's causing. I pray my H2B is strong and can resist. Maybe this is God's way of dealing with my sin - to have it happen to me.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Carpe Diem<BR>~~ Lady K ~~<P><BR>

I have a confession too.<P>When I was single, and going through my custody case, I went out a couple times with a married man. He told me he was in the process of a divorce. I believed him. He was my son's school psychologist.<P>He told me to call him at home anytime. I did once. His wife answered the phone and eagerly handed the phone over to him. He explained that she comes to visit their little boy often. I was sooooo naieve.<P>We went out a few times over a period of 3 months - and then I lost interest, he was sooooo phony. <P>I saw his picture in the paper with his wife a couple months after that. That is when I realized that he was lying to me. I still feel like I should call his wife some day and tell her. But that was over a decade ago. But even still, what he did was wrong. I was vulnerable and he used the situation to his advantage. He should lose his job.<P>TNT

<BR>Thank you for sharing, but I don't think that is a "confession" so to speak. You were taken advantage of and lied to. I hope you don't have lingering guilt for that. I do, but I try not to think about it. I knew he was married way before we started seeing each other. This all happened around the time Fatel Attraction came out. You think he would have stopped his ways after that movie, but I think he's still the same.<P>I have forgiven myself and I hope you have too!<P>God Bless!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Carpe Diem<BR>~~ Lady K ~~<P><BR>