My phone was out for about 4 days. I finally got it fixed last night and started listening to all the message that had piled up.

WW phoned Friday and wanted to talk to me. She sounded kind of angry, but that's not uncommon for when she calls me :-(. Then there was a message from Saturday night for the kids. It sounded like she was crying on the phone and she wanted the kids to phone her back. I told her we weren't going to be home that night so I don't even know why she would try to call.

I talked to her and saw her briefly yesterday as the kids were spending the night at her place and she didn't seem upset at all.

WTF? Any guess what the heck is going on? Up to this point she hasn't shown any remorse/regret whatsoever. Could it finally be sinking a mere weeks before our divorce is finalized?

I'm not looking to reconcile but I just want to be prepared emotionally in case she is about to express some remorse.

For those of you who have had WS express remorse to you what kinds of things did they say? And how did they do it?

Miker

This is called obsessing.

what if?
what if?
what if?

Aren't you actually feeling more emotionally stable right now? Don't you really feel you can handle your wife's emotional ups and downs effectively?

Enjoy today. There is no sense in wondering how to react ~when and if~ your wife expresses any particular version of remorse.

Here's my hunch. Whatever her true feelings are ... she's going to mask them around you. You get the edited version of her.

Enjoy today obsession free.

You've apparently made your decision. Make yourself comfortable with all the possibilities now available to you via your decision.

Let her take care of her own emotional stew.

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

My WW goes through these kind of swings too. One minute she is telling me how sorry she is that I feel bad. Then she talks about how angry she is and how she hates being at our house. Then she is smiling and happy, playing with the kids. But mostly she tries to be too busy, or asleep, or on the phone when I am around. She has given no indication that she wants to give this a chance. Hang in there Miker. We can get through this. You told me so.

Hi Pep,

Thanks for the advice. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I just like to be prepared. I know that this is one of the last things that has potential of messing me up emotionally. But I guess like everything else it's just something you have to work your way through when it happens.

But don't worry. I do enjoy every day! (well most of them anyway)

Cheers,

Miker

Hi Don't know,

The weird thing is that we have basically not even talked for 10 months. Sure we've talked about the kids. But that's it and only as needed. There has been zero talk about us or our past relationship and not even any idle chit-chat. Nuttin. Its not like we are pals or anything. She has never admitted any wrong doing in this whole thing.

I just found it weird and I'm a bit worried it will take me on a trip if she does start into the remorse thing. It probably would be good for me to hear as maybe it would finally allow me to let some of this stuff go, but I'm still a bit scared.

Cheers,

Miker

Miker,

It's hard to say what exactly is going on in your WW's head. But, if she's anything like me, this is what she's going through ... (I'm just cutting/pasting what I wrote in response to a similar thread):

"I'm ashamed to admit it, but my A lasted 1 1/2 years. "Reality" started to hit me the day I went to the attorney's office to inquire about the D process. I broke down right there on her desk. Unfortunately, I was/am very, very stubborn. For 2 months, I stuck to my guns on the D thinking that was the only way out, but the horrible reality of not having my H in my life, not being able to talk to him, and not being able to grow old with him - (esp. the scary thought of living the rest of my life w/ the OM :{) chipped away at me. At first, I ignored it. Then, the the flood gates opened when I saw my H not wearing his wedding ring. I still remember that day - we met at lunch, and I thought I was going to vomit."

When I finally made up my mind as to what I wanted, within 24-hours, I demanded complete NC from the OM (and have never thought about calling him since), went straight to my H's office and begged him to take me back. That's what a little dose of reality did for me.