thanks everyone for the good advice -- I will keep you posted -- I think this is a great litmus test for WS commitment to R, which is not the intention, just a side effect -- I'm deleting original post

Right off the bat, #2 is a deal breaker, IMHO.

One year? You're serious?

No friggin' way. It has to be permanent. Did you marry for a year?

I'll have other suggestions on the rest of it, but they'll be moot if #2 stays the same.

This is closer to what a fair post-nup would be:

1. No contact letter to OW immediately. If contact is ever re-established by the wayward spouse, the faithful spouse may initiate divorce and all financial holdings of the wayward spouse are at risk and jointly held assets default to the faithful spouse. In the case of any attempted contact initiated by the OW, the faithful spouse is immediately informed and a mutual agreed upon course of action is taken.

2. In the case of any extramarital affairs with any person by either spouse, the faithful spouse may initiate divorce and all financial holdings of the wayward spouse are at risk and jointly held assets default to the faithful spouse.

You could also add in pre-defined custody of any children between the spouses. Any affair and the faithful spouse determines custody.

WAT

Yikes - He should have NO conditions. It doesn't sound like he is really interested in recovery just yet. It sounds more like he is trying to take you to the cleaner. I wouldn't sign anything. He is lucky you are even considering taking him back.

see edit note above - thanks all... next 48 hours will decide fate of our M -- if agmt doesn't work out, then Dv goes through and that's it - forever - I'm in permanent Plan B and I think I have made this clear to H -- I'm still hoping (real) love (not fog juice) will prevail <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I understand your thoughts about this potentially appearing to be retribution for the mistakes. A WS will surely see it that way. But I was honestly looking at it from a BS protection and WS motivation standpoint. Note my logic applies to both spouses regardng potential future affairs > the goose/gander thing.

The local jurisdictions/courts do not want to get involved assigning responsibility to marriage breakups. A post-nup can at least make the costs of breaking the marriage contract via infidelity known ahead of time and invoked if a spouse exercises that "option."

If a WS was really sincere about marital recovery, a post-nup that specified loss of all financial protection if another affair developed should be no threat. Yep, maybe idealistic. Any protection you can get via this route is more than is normally secured.

Please consider reporting your experience on this topic as you progress for the benefit of others who may choose to do something similar.

Good luck to you.

WAT