Since learning of my husband's infidelity, I feel like I only have two options and both of them are horrible: 1) leave my marriage or 2) stay with a man who disrespected, hurt, humiliated me. It's so depressing to think about. Having only these two bad options feels like being trapped and hopeless. I also feel some degree of guilt about still being with him, when I feel so negative and hopeless about the chances of us having a future. D Day was just over one month ago which I know isn't long at all. But I know I'm not up for feeling this way for many months, years, etc. which I guess means I'm not committed to fixing things. I just feel that I'm at an age where I could get out of this and still be fairly young to start over. I'm not going to stay in this until I'm too old to have children, etc. I love him very much and know that what we had/have is so much more than a cheap thrill, but it's just not that simple. I've always heard of situations where someone ends a relationship and says it's just as painful for them as the other person. I think I understand that now. I feel like a bystander to my own feelings, waiting to see what they make me do. It's so painful to love someone but inside truly feel we can never "be right with each other" again.

Comments appreciated...so far I haven't been able to do anything but start threads--can't reply to someone who replies to a thread I started.

There is a third choice, but what's the point in a "one sided discussion?"

IF you "can't reply to someone who replies to a thread I started," then just HOW is someone supposed to try to help you?

For what it's worth, here's the "3rd Choice" you have.

Build a newer and better marriage with your "new and improved" husband and leave the old "you" (both you and him) in the past with the rest of things you can no longer change). Build a future with someone (your husband) who has learned the hard way that "the grass is not always greener and if it is, you can bet that someone else has a very high water bill!"

Good luck!

Read the instructions at the top of the page and email Tempest for further instructions.

Many of us downloaded the mozilla firefox browser:


Mozilla Firefox

Supposedly, they should have fixed things here so you shouldn't have to switch to firefox. But, I prefer it anyway.

One thing to try is to click on the flat mode word at the top right so you switch it to that mode. That is a start.
Tempest can give you the rest of the instructions.

Another thing that is suggested is to clear your cookies. Also, go to your profile and make adjustments to your viewing preferences in there...like viewing over 30 posts per page or something.

ahhhhh, I didn't think of that, Trix. It could have referred to the problems with the site whereby she CAN'T, not won't, respond.

Thanks for pointing that out!