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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
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Man ! Months almost alone in Britain and I see loads of UK marriagebuilders here now ! Just like British Buses !
Check in here, so we can support each other in our own timezone and moan about how hard it is to get decent pro marriage MC in Britain !
I'll Kickoff
I'm A 41 year old BH from the Midlands of England. D-day 21st July 2004. FWW is Squid ! In recovery now thank God !
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Alphin reporting, bOb.
36, WH left in early April, lives with OW, plan A in progress, two DDs 5 and 12.
(Still haven't rung MarriageCare, bOb - *awaits another 2x4*)
Me, BS 37
Him, WXH (Noddy) 40
DD13, DD6
Married 14th August 1993
D/Day 2nd April 05
Noddy left us 3rd April 05, lives with OW (Omelette) 28
Divorce final 6th July '06.
Time wounds all heels... - Groucho Marx
...except when it doesn't. - Graycloud
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37 Fww..been actively building for nearly 10 months.
I had my husband on a pedestal from day one. I was neglected for 14 years and I sadly lapped up attention and strayed outside into an inappropriate EA/PA
Husband and I having a wonderful relationship now...completely different from our relationship before and I feel like a different person.
Happy, alive, communicating and in love.
MB was a life saver.
**RELATE were useless** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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Live in the South-east, grew up Scots.
Three years post d-day; H has buckled down to personal rehabilitation with determination; I have become increasingly aware of how unhealthy our situation was for all those years, and how lonely life with H is, even now.
This whole debacle has forced me to sort out my own problems, in particular the fallout from an emotionally abused childhood. I am much stronger, much sadder, and I enjoy life a lot less.
(Feeling deeply jaundiced today, after a dispiriting week with H. Sorry.)
TogetherAlone
"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson
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Almost the same timezone (1 hour diff) here in Belgium, can I join in ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Hi - is a relatively foggy FWS welcome here?
W has had 3 EAs during our M, I had a 5 month E&PA (Dec - Apr), ended it & confessed 3 weeks ago. Am in withdrawal, maintaining NC, v. unusure about the future of our M (huge problems before A), but hanging on in faith. W is devastated, and unsure about wanting to stay together - also hanging on in faith. Both feeling v. needy, neither able to give much to each other at the moment. 1 son (5 yrs old) - we share childcare.
Hey - we had some good news yesterday - we won 2 tix to Live8 - at least that'll give us something good to do together.
Stay well everyone.
ME: WH - 36 1 EPA
W: BS - 30 3 EA
D-DAY - 27/5/05
NC since 13/4/05
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Wow ! I don't know why I am uplifted that more of my compatriots than I thought have had broken hearts but it feels good not to be alone !
BH, perhaps I should change to 'european MBers' ? Then again we may not have an EU very soon ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Bloke, I am a BS but I welcome ANYONE who is genuinely trying to recover from infidelity.
Cool !
Any more Brits ?
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Oh and BTW YES "Relate" blows ! ABSOLUTELY CRAP !
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Hey - we had some good news yesterday - we won 2 tix to Live8 - at least that'll give us something good to do together.
Stay well everyone. Great news about Live8....I keep hoping I get a similar text. It'll be a wonderful thing to do together and having something to look forward to I found to be very helpful! When the fog cleared for me I gained great pleasure from planning something in OUR future.
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Bloke,
Great news about the Live8 tickets! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Hello, everyone.
I'm curious as to why there are so few of us. I realise that MB is a US site, and that there are far more Americans than Brits populationwise, but are there other reasons?
Do Brits give up more easily? UK is a much more 'secular' society than the US - perhaps we 'care' less about saving marriages as a nation?
Just wondering -
Alph.
Me, BS 37
Him, WXH (Noddy) 40
DD13, DD6
Married 14th August 1993
D/Day 2nd April 05
Noddy left us 3rd April 05, lives with OW (Omelette) 28
Divorce final 6th July '06.
Time wounds all heels... - Groucho Marx
...except when it doesn't. - Graycloud
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
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Alph, I've wondered that too.
Harley's a Christian, but MB is very practical in its execution and has worked for folks holy and not !
I'm not sure why there aren't more brits.
Can you IMAGINE going through this mess WITHOUT MB ?????
Especially as Relate is so bloody useless and its pretty much our only MC centre (apart from Marriagecare but thats hard to find).
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Relate ARE useless.
And as you say, just about the only MC service available (that anyone knows about, anyway).
I really do think it's a case of the old British 'stiff upper lip', making the best of things, not wanting to make a scene, etc.
Americans reach out to each other much more - that's a big part of the appeal of sites like this one.
Alph.
Me, BS 37
Him, WXH (Noddy) 40
DD13, DD6
Married 14th August 1993
D/Day 2nd April 05
Noddy left us 3rd April 05, lives with OW (Omelette) 28
Divorce final 6th July '06.
Time wounds all heels... - Groucho Marx
...except when it doesn't. - Graycloud
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Posts: 154
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The people I've shared this site with seem suprised there is anything on the internet to "build marriages"....they are interested but then it feels like it's "too much hard work".
A kind of what's the point it won't make any difference malaise.
I shall keep building and keep pointing to this website and the great books I've read. Sadly I know of so many relationships that have or are failing and they seem powerless to do "anything" about it....like they are frozen...or scared?
My BS won't read/post here but he did when I was in Alien form. I know it gave him great comfort....just wish others could be persuaded.
I never reached out to others...kept things inside. Since fog clearance, reading and applying MB (amongst others) I also had some IC. It was a wonderful release and broke down some of my walls.
How un-British of me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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bOb,
I'm not in the UK, but on the continent, so just one hour time difference. My threads often get buried because of the time difference to the US. I'd love to join in this support group!
Me BS 44 XH 45 M 20 years D19 D12 DDay 11.29.04 Separated 12.29.04 Plan A 24.02.05 Plan B 10.9.05 Plan D 2.2.06 Divorce 13.6.06 OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo) OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it. Redhat
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Posts: 10,107
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Strong, I agree. I have the Brit's extreme cynicism for self help horsepoo too, but MB is far from abstract airport-book fodder.
Its a practical way to work against affairs and to make better marriages.
Many of my US friends on here think me uncivilised with this attitude !
If only they knew what yer average Brit thinks about Americans and their therapists !!
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Dive in LT ! All you need is a near GMT time zone and a broken heart that needs fixing !
I changed the heading to UK & European !
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Gosh, that was as quick as real time... it feels good to be connected to a supportive network! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Me BS 44 XH 45 M 20 years D19 D12 DDay 11.29.04 Separated 12.29.04 Plan A 24.02.05 Plan B 10.9.05 Plan D 2.2.06 Divorce 13.6.06 OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo) OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it. Redhat
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What we need is a forum 'wise head' to move to our time zone ! I was SO LUCKY as I had RIF in Afghanistan working the MB nightshift when I needed him.
He had the CHEEK to go home to his baby after a year away !
C'oh ! No commitment ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Hi LT, I only just realised you weren't LostINTranslation.
Fantastic film that...just saw it recently.
I think I've posted more in the last day than I have in the last 9 months!
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I'm up to nearly 5000 posts !
I seem to have attracted a large reponse though for some reason so have replied to loads.
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