Hi,
I haven't been around very much lately because I'm simply too busy.
I'm somehow starting to think that I am really "Damaged" for life because of this experience in my life............I just need someone to listen to me so that I can let this out of my system.

My husband wants to buy me a new car. Great! I'm really happy about that. He's even decided to fullfill "my" dream of a car. Fantastic........right.

A Ford Mustang...........Super fantastic..........right.

We've been seaching and getting informed and my husband is really digging in about this.
Last nite he was looking and he saw a beautiful [color:"red"]RED [/color] one. He called me so that I'd take a look.

Something snatched in me and I don't understand.

It's now turning me off because all that I can see now is my great looking husband driving around in this RED Mustang and all of his female customers will be drolling around.

Well this was my first thought.............it's probably a trigger.

The same sorta thing happened pre affair and resulted into an affair a few years ago...........only it wasn't a car it was a great looking, fantastic horse and of course this really caught the attention of alot of his female customers.

If that doesn't make sence, I'll explain quickly. My husband is independant and the majority of his customers are females. He's popular and everyone really likes him. That's ok but many of these female customers are really looking for the perfect match and they really seem to envy my life and what my husband has to offer. This is how his affair started from the beginning on.

Anyways.............I'm now having a problem with "myself" I guess. I would love to have this car (NOT A RED ONE) it has always been a dream for me. My husband is going for it and wants to fullfill this dream for me and I am now somehow Blocking this. My thoughts are stopping me!

I'm starting to think that a little car would do for me..........just to avoid the situation of my husband driving around and maybe getting into the situation of attracting some of the gals. Am I sick or what????? Am I now completely NUTS!!!!!!!

Our life for outsiders is the perfect world. I must admit, my life is great. I have everything a person could dream for. My husband and I are getting along greatly. Our love is back "Full-Blast" again. I feel great about my life. But I have gotten very "Private" about things concerning my husband and I.
It's strange because when our customers find even the smallest things about us, it's usually a big deal for them.

They don't see how hard my husband and I work, they only seem to see that we have a life that a woman would dream for.

I don't think that I have to proove anything to anyone but I feel so sick about the pressure I feel deep inside about these kind of situations.
If my husband fullfills this dream for me, I'd be the happiest person on earth and yet I am aware that the female customers will be "Sweet talking" and trying their best to attract my husbands attention with the knowledge that he has alot to offer a woman.

I am not a jealous person, nor would I count myself to be controlling but I have went through these kind of situations many times. Woman calling...........woman coming over to pay their bills personally...........my husband was involved in an affair almost 5 years ago. It must of been a real "Ego stroking" (Emotional Need #1 Admiration) experince for him at that time but I have learnt to really fullfill this need for him.
But what do I do now and what should I think now????

He'll be getting "Admiration" from all over the place if he gets me this car.

I hope this makes a little sence and I hope I don't appear to be completely Nuts! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

take care and I'd be happy to hear from anyone!
bb

if its your car....why will he be driving it all around meeting and flirting with women....YOU will be driving it all around, and if he wants to drive it---be in it with him!!! lol

wanna laugh....we went through the car thing already....now he is buying me a horse!!!!! i think we are reverse of each other. lol

Make him get a [color:"pink"]PINK [/color] one with girlie girl flowers ALL over it......

All right I am stabbing at this....
and you know me...can only address your issues...

you gotta decide and you gotta come to some type of term within yourself that you KNEW even pre-marriage that you married the type of guy who is outgoing...goodlooking...and charming.....and that those qualities can be lovable...AND even a financial assett....most people would rather give their money to a people person...than a stick in the mudd...

and

But I have gotten very "Private" about things concerning my husband and I. It's strange because when our customers find even the smallest things about us, it's usually a big deal for them.

Is it possible blond..that this perception is a little skewed on your part...are woman really fawning and drooling all over hubby or are you giving away more power and MORE energy on this then you need to??

They don't see how hard my husband and I work, they only seem to see that we have a life that a woman would dream for.

what is this creation that.... people are giving you and your work any thought at all....and making any type of judgement of it being...hard or not hard...

how long till the further entertaining of these thoughts turn in to resentment over your husband..his job etc..

ARK

bb - self-flagellation is self-defeating.

You are letting your imagination and worry control you. Haven't you learned ANYTHING about the "truth" in emotions, or do you want to live the rest of your life in FEAR of "what might happen?'

Who gives a rat's behind if other women are envious and jealous, or even "desirous" of your husband. Don't you WANT him to be admired? Don't you want the secret thrill of "eat your hearts out ladies, he's MINE!"?

No, you want to grovel around in the dust trying to avoid LIVING in world full of potential sin and depravity. But that sure wouldn't make you seem all that "loveable and desireable" to most men, and I suspect your husband is a man.

Stand up. Keep your head up. Get the "toy" that your husband wants for YOU, because he wants to do things for YOU. He has learned his lesson, now you need to learn yours. Meet each other's needs and to heck with the Other People.

God bless.