Post deleted by Onelastshot

Hi,

There are tons of other options besides viagra. Have your husband ask his doctor for a different ED prescription. There are also sugical options that should be explored as a last resort.

SF is so much more than intercourse. Maybe a visit to the bookstore is in order?

You two have a lot of options.

Post deleted by Onelastshot

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I am guessing he isn't on an anti-depressent that affects his lbido.

He could try various herbal preparations to increase his libido. Some individual herbs may help: Fo-ti, Maca, Horney Goat Weed, Ashwangandha Root etc. Also, an amino acid called l-Arginine. Look up this stuff. It could be worth a try occasionally.

If nothing else, is he open to doing 'other' things to please you. Will he be sexual even though he may not be 'up' for it...ie: focus on you, use of toys etc...?

Does he have one or both hands and a mouth/tongue? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> All does not have to be lost.

I'm just sayin...

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I've got to agree with Susan and Trix... There are other ways of going about this, even though the soldier isn't saluting... Can you make a trip to an adult shop?

I have a friend that did not have sex for two years because it was painful for her (she says because of menopause).

Her husband is now involved in an affair.

And probably that is not the reason, but I still had to ask "what was wrong with your hands?" ...

Susan

I recommend for your H to see a urologist. There are even surgical options for him.

Hi One,

I am very sorry that this is an issue. I sincerely hope that your H will continue to try to improve in this area. In my opinion, a marriage with no sex is really just like having a demanding roommate, which is not what you signed up for at the wedding.

I am wondering why your H is not interested in pleasing you in other ways, as Susan says. On the other hand, I know that you probably want to be desired as a woman, probably by seeing the visual evidence of your H's desire, which is quite satisfying for most women.

In addition to the hormone replacement therapy, have you done any kind of counseling? I believe that this problem is absolutely devastating to your H's ego.

By the way, you are certainly welcome to post on any forum you choose, but I would suggest that you copy and past your original post on the Emotional Needs forum. Believe it or not, there are lots of folks who have dealt with the same problem, including women.

I know this does not really help, but it would be worse if your H was physically capable & was still denying you. My wife is perfectly capable of sex with an orgasm every time, but will only have sex once every 6 weeks.

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I'm sorry that you feel that you would need to go out and meet sopmeone else to satisfy this need...Whatever happened to the marriage vows that we once took so long ago...In sickness and in health...sigh...

I was Unable to have intercourse for the same reasons listed above...it was extremely painful for me after our third child...we tried and it just hurt so much...eventually my H did find it elsewhere...

it is quite sad that so many people base marriage on sex alone...What else is there in your marriage? I mean, is that the only thing that you base your marriage on for you to feel you need to find it elsewhere and commit adultery...

There are many other "options" beside intercourse...Good grief...look at Christopher Reeve...the man was a paralyzed...Can you only imagine how devestating this is for your H...I mean a MAN who is incompetent...Think about HIS needs and not your own for a minute...

You guys have three kids together...a life...look at the devestation on this board from INfidelity BEFORE you decide to commit it...If you WANT to live the life that WE live, then by all means go out and find it elsewhere just to satisfy YOUR OWN need for intercourse...have you masterbated? I would really think about what you WANT to do before you do it...You DID stand before God and make a vow to be faithful NO MATTER WHAT!

good luck to you!

I'm glad you said what I wanted to say next. Well said MF4M.

While I do not think there is any excuse here for infidelity....

I don't think we should be too hard on someone who is not having an extremely important need met. I suspect that the need seems so high on the list because it's not being met..but that being said...

You did marry your husband with certain promises and commitments.

It does not seem to me that you have tried everything you could to rectify this situation...and so you are premature in thinking of ending your marriage or committing adultery.

You say "other ways" just don't satisfy you. Is your husband doing it in a way that pleases you? Done right, oral sex is my ABSOLUTE favorite...both giving and receiving. While I wouldn't want to have a sex-diet consisting solely of oral...I prefer oral over penetration. Cuz when a man can do that right...*shivers* I "sat" my husband down one evening and we had a "lesson" on how to do it right for me. I directed him every step of the way. Sounds cold, but it only took a couple of lessons before I was over the moon every single time. And it gave his ego a good stroking to know he could make me feel that way.

I sense your frustration. I implore you to do everything you can to help the situation before making a rash decision. If the situation is still intolerable to you after trying EVERYTHING and trying EVERYTHING *several* times--then divorce. Don't commit adultery..there is no excuse..it muddles everything up...and you will be sorry for it and it will destroy your h and children.

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