TMCM,
Thank you. I actually contacted a few of my old friends (female) because of a post from either you or whisper28; I can't remember which right now. It's very nice being able to talk to someone else about what's going on, a release of steam if you will. I believe the incident last weekend was due to false pretenses presented to my friend by another mutual friend (he believes the best way to cure a broken heart is with plenty of alcohol and OW's).

I have been seriously considering Plan B; and actually teetering on the verge of A/B. I’m not exactly sure if now is the right time, or if I should wait until after the kids get back in another 2 weeks. But, then again maybe if I started now I would be much stronger by the time the kids did return. I just don’t know. I do know that my feelings for her have changed drastically over the past few days. But, then again I seem to keep wavering back and forth, depending on how our encounters go…

Last night I went and got myself a 2nd job, I could really use the extra money and I figure it will keep me out of the house and active. Once the kids return I believe I will continue working while they are at their mothers, but when they are with me I will be home for them. This will keep me occupied while earning a little extra income and gaining a new skill and a lot of knowledge. I could be wrong, but I believe this was my first productive step toward doing a true Plan A, not just a façade.

Ok, I haven't heard from wife all day; normally I would have received at least 2-3 e-mails and a phone call from her. The last I've heard from her was her "I'm Sorry..." e-mail yesterday morning and another short e-mail yesterday afternoon reminding me to pick up our tax refund.

I'm contimplating two options:
1) Leave well enough alone and have NC throughout the weekend. (Sounds like Plan B doesn't it?)
2) Send her a reply to her "I'm Sorry..." e-mail that would read something like this:
Wife, I want to make sure you understand my actions the other night. I thuroughly enjoyed our time we spent together at the house and dinner, however I am learning how to control my emotions. Our conversation obviously hit a very big nerve with me that I was not fully prepared for. I thought it would be best to walk away from the situation before things were said/done that may be regretted later. I did not want the time we spent together to be overshadowed by hurtful comments or actions, therefore I chose to back off and walk away in order to prevent any further hurt or anger between us.

I'm open to suggestions... I've got about an hour before I have to leave work, so any responses would be greatly appreciated!

Since you are not in Plan B yet, I would send the email.

In His arms.

Thanks MM, I always value your thoughts & opinions. Does the wording sound strong enough without being too cold? I don't want to appear to be "groveling", but I don't want to be too cold and harsh either.

Well, I guess she read my mind, I just received an e-mail from her with "Good Morning" in the subject line and no message. I replied back with
"Good Morning.

Wife, I want to make sure you understand my actions the other night. I really enjoyed our time we spent together at the house and dinner; however I am learning how to control my emotions (or at least I’m trying). Our conversation obviously hit a very big nerve with me that I was not fully prepared for. I thought it would be best to walk away from the situation before things were said/done that may be regretted later. I did not want the time we spent together to be overshadowed by hurtful comments or actions, therefore I chose to back off and walk away in order to prevent any further hurt or anger between us. I hope you can understand that I was not trying to do anything other than diffuse the situation in the best way I saw at the time."

Her reply back was "ok"

I've got to be honest with you all; I'm a little upset right now. After all that I only get "ok", no apologies, no "I see your point", nothing. I'm really beginning to wonder what the whole point in this is...

I've got to be honest with you all; I'm a little upset right now. After all that I only get "ok", no apologies, no "I see your point", nothing. I'm really beginning to wonder what the whole point in this is...

You are probably not going to get that any time soon.

Remember, this is chemical, as well as emotional. She is an adict, in the grip of her drug. She should have stayed away from it, but she tried it, and now she is hooked.

If you don't want the down, they go to plan B, and stay away from her. You already know it's going to be this way while you have contact.

If you want to expose, then use her own words.
"I wanted you to know that W is having an affair again. She told me she can't have sex with me her husband and father of her children because it wouldn't be right for her to do that while she was having sex with him. I want to save our marriage, but I don't know how much longer I can stand this.
I am telling you so you will understand and be able to give support to the children and I. This is hell, Please pray for us."

Use your tools, don't ignore exposure.

I'm glad you have the other job for short term. Be sure and quit when you start to get burnt out.

If I remember right, you are in CA. How's the weather?

Also, it would do you good to counsel with the Harleys. Can you do that?

SS

SS,
I know it's fog talk, and I know the ups and downs that come with this. It may seem like complaining and whining, but I figure it's better to gripe here and get it off my chest instead of blowing up at her.

Thursday she blew up at me; said I was spreading rumor's and harassing OM at his work because my friends work there; she called herself a "whore" and a "slut" and said it was all her fault and she would give me the D I wanted so she wouldn't continue to embarass me any further. I stayed very calm and spoke quietly and confidently (despite the fact that the picture of us on her desk was replaced with one of her and OM) in reminding her that I wanted to work on our M and if she pursued a D it would be her choice.

Sat she called me from a store to tell me some of the things they had on sale; found out later she was with OM. We spoke for at least 10-15 minutes, which was contrary to her claim that we can only talk for 3-5 minutes before one of us blows up at the other. After Saturday I didn't hear from her again until she called last night when she asked about a "nasty" voice mail I left her. I asked her what was nasty about the VM, as all I said was that the kids wanted to talk to their mom, could she please call them, or answer her phone when they called.

Not sure what to make of her friendly phone calls on Friday and Saturday, especially when she called me on Sat when she was with OM. Any idea's?