Long story short is that I’ve been married for 3 years and my wife has just separated from me. She has a lot of anger towards me because she basically did everything for me while I subconsciously became lazy and didn’t reciprocate her love. She wound up having an emotional affair with a co-worker and made out with another team member. While she is at fault for this, a lot of it had to do with me not being there for her. She tried to tell me that we should seek counseling before but I was so caught up in graduate school and playing on my computer that I wasn’t able to comprehend just how bad the situation was. She finally said that she was depressed and wanted a separation.

This has been a definite wake up call for me and I am shocked at what I have done in my marriage. I am now taking steps to improve myself, counseling, redecorating the house, and just being more responsible. This actually shocked her and I believe she’s nervous about my sudden change in attitude. She really wants some space and is not really into seeing me although we talk on the phone. We just started counseling 2 days ago, and we kissed and held hands afterwards and I felt close. However, she still is distant in wanting to set up time between us.

Just wondering if there I need some tips on how to handle the separation, or if I should just step back and let her make the moves towards communication? It's a confusing time for me and I don't know how to handle it.

wow...i wish that i had an answer for you...i tried hard and pursued my ex and i won her back partially...she never fully came back and left 7 months later and we are toast....

i simply would tell her that you love her and that you are sorry and that you realize your mistakes
that you will do what is necessary to make things right
but you cant do it without her help, input and feedback
and then tell her that you love her and ask for suggestions
on what needs to be done