Top of the fold -- Fatherless in America

Many families will celebrate Father's Day this Sunday, but the tragic
reality is that some 35-million children live absent or apart from
their biological fathers. One in two children -- and only one in five
inner-city children -- are in homes with their fathers.

Of course, any assertion that fathers are critical to the well-being of
children will undoubtedly offend the PC NOW crowd -- you know, those
enlightened liberals who have, for the past four decades, insisted
that mothers can do it all. Indeed, they've dismissed men as little
more than a nuisance -- one necessary for procreation but detrimental
to proper parenting.

The Grande Dame of the so-called "women's movement," Gloria Steinem,
once declared, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a
bicycle." Liberal columnist Maureen Dowd's forthcoming book, "Are Men
Necessary?" is the latest manifestation of the man-hater movement.

Of course, many moms have no choice but to do it all because many
fathers (in and out of their homes) have abdicated their responsibility
for proper love, discipline, support and protection. The disastrous
social consequences of this abdication are clearly evident and well
documented. Though some single parents do manage to bring up relatively
well-adjusted kids with the help of extended families, churches and
schools, the correlation between social deviancy and fatherless homes
is irrefutably linked.

Not all fathers are separated from their children voluntarily --
many are forcibly removed by mothers who've bought into the lie that
fathers aren't necessary. Of course, there are also mothers who just
want to upgrade. Under such circumstances, most state courts provide
fathers limited responsibility or visitation with their children, and
only now are some states acknowledging the critical role fathers play
in the lives of their children.

Here is the truth -- and it is a hard truth for men who have abandoned
their families, but a harder truth for their children: Most social
problems -- crime, drug abuse, unwed pregnancy and abortion, youth
suicide, school dropouts and the like -- are the direct consequence of
fatherless households.

"Children who grow up with their fathers do far better -- emotionally,
educationally, physically, every way we can measure -- than children
who do not," notes Institute for American Values president David
Blankenhorn. "This conclusion holds true even when differences of race,
class and income are taken into account. The simple truth is that
fathers are irreplaceable in shaping the competence and character of
their children. ... [The absence of fathers] from family life is surely
the most socially consequential family trend of our era."

Indeed it is.

Here are some sobering statistics: According to the CDC, DoJ, DHHS
and the Bureau of the Census, 63% of teen suicides, 70% of juveniles
in state-operated institutions, 71% of high-school dropouts, 75% of
children in chemical-abuse centers, 80% of rapists, 85% of youths in
prison, 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders, and 90% of
homeless and runaway children are children from fatherless homes. In
fact, children born to unwed mothers are ten times more likely to live
in poverty as children with fathers in the home.

"[The causal link between fatherless children and crime] is so strong
that controlling for family configuration erases the relationship
between race and crime and between low income and crime," notes social
researcher Barbara Dafoe Whitehead. More to the point, a counselor at
a juvenile-detention facility in California, which has the nation's
highest juvenile-incarceration rate, protested, "[If] you find a gang
member who comes from a complete nuclear family, I'd like to meet
him. ... I don't think that kid exists."

"Maturity does not come with age, but with the accepting of
responsibility for one's actions," writes Dr. Edwin Cole. "The lack of
effective, functioning fathers is the root cause of America's social,
economic and spiritual crises."

History also records the exploits of those who grew up without fathers,
or with weak or abusive fathers. They became Adolf Hitler, Iosif
Vissarionouich Djugashvili (Joseph Stalin), Mao Zedong and Saddam
Hussein.

In any case, never let it be said that the Left allows facts to get in
the way of its agenda. Arguably, liberal social policies are directly
responsible for generations of homeless children, particularly black
children. As we've noted before, Democrats have a vested interest in
keeping blacks and other constituencies dependent on the state; such
a dependency, after all, creates a strong allegiance.

The man-hating Left is not content merely to eradicate the traditional
family. They also want to eradicate Judeo-Christian values from the
home. Take NOW's website, for example, which proclaims, "Underneath
the facade of Christian religion are the workings of the radical
religious right, mobilizing men against the rights of women, lesbians,
and gays." The University of Virginia's Bradford Wilcox notes in a
recent Heritage Foundation report that the Left sees religion as "a
key factor in stalling the gender revolution at home."

Is this agenda what generations of Americans have toiled and died
to preserve?

Founder John Adams understood well: "The foundation of national morality
must be laid in private families.... How is it possible that Children can
have any just Sense of the sacred Obligations of Morality or Religion if,
from their earliest Infancy, they learn their Mothers live in habitual
Infidelity to their fathers, and their fathers in as constant Infidelity
to their Mothers?" Abigail Adams wrote, "What is it that affectionate
parents require of their Children; for all their care, anxiety, and
toil on their accounts? Only that they would be wise and virtuous,
Benevolent and kind."

So where to from here?

On Father's Day, we should, indeed, pay tribute to the irreplaceable
institution of fatherhood -- and the importance of a father's love,
discipline, support and protection for his children. On this and
every other day, those of us who are fathers should encourage other
fathers to be accountable for their children. There is much that
can be done for the fatherless -- mentoring through Boy Scouting,
coaching little-league sports, teaching in Sunday school, becoming a
school tutor, and volunteering to work with high-risk kids through an
inner-city ministry, to name just a few.

As for this father, it is a privilege beyond all others to be a husband
and father of three, and no reward could be greater than the smiles
and hugs that attend a close relationship with my children.

Mortarman - care to share the site where you got that from?

MM
Interesting.

Squid's affair in part was fueled by the entitlement she felt to agressively maintain an 'unmarried woman' life outside the home in her sport.

She resented my freedom, her relative bondage and the drudgery of much of the life of a SAHM.

This came out of our discussions.

Last night we were discussing another couple who have some problems related to the smothering effect of domesticity and Squid said to me "it doesn't work. You can't be a great Mom and a great career success at the same time. I let my kids down, you down and myself down. It won't happen again".

Interesting I thought.

You can't be a great Mom and a great career success at the same time.

Too often, having the nice house and cars comes at the expense of the kids. Too often, a mother wanting a career, and accolades, etc. comes at the expense of her children who spend 7 hours at school and another 2-3 at daycare. Mom and Dad pick them up, make dinner, take care of some chores or run them around to events. Then there are baths and getting ready for the next day. Then there is the 5 minutes they get right before they go to bed. Five minutes of one-on-one time. In the meantime, Mrs. Whomever, the child's second grade teacher, had 7 hours with him. Seven hours versus 5 minutes...which do you think wins out? And dont give me that balogna we have been fed about "quality time!"

Of course, many moms have no choice but to do it all because many fathers (in and out of their homes) have abdicated their responsibility for proper love, discipline, support and protection. The disastrous social consequences of this abdication are clearly evident and well documented. Though some single parents do manage to bring up relatively
well-adjusted kids with the help of extended families, churches and schools, the correlation between social deviancy and fatherless homes is irrefutably linked.

Not all fathers are separated from their children voluntarily -- many are forcibly removed by mothers who've bought into the lie that fathers aren't necessary. Of course, there are also mothers who just want to upgrade. Under such circumstances, most state courts provide fathers limited responsibility or visitation with their children, and only now are some states acknowledging the critical role fathers play in the lives of their children.