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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 9 |
We are in mediation and in the process of legally separating. I'm not sure if I want to file for divorce right away claiming adultery or wait for him to file. The problem is that he cannot file claiming his own adultery, so he has to wait a year saying that we have been legally separated for a year. I don't know if the laws are like that in every state, but here, that's the way it works. I want to get on with my life ASAP but I also feel like WH should pay for the divorce.
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
Divorce when you no longer want to be married to him.
This means even if you filed and he came back crawling, begging, pleading and doing anything/everything to make amends, it would not matter.
Don't do it because you're mad, hurt, his affair is continuing or whatever.
So why are you legally separating, meaning what have you or him or both done to try & reconcile?
Prayers & God Bless!
Chris
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
Member
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Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
You file after you have been to counseling - both as individuals - and as a couple. You file when he has refused to to send the no contact letter and refused to abide by that. You file when there is no chance of saving this marriage. When you are convinced that there is nothing further that can be done. When you have done the hard stuff - not just the easy stuff - to repair the marriage. When you have done the EN questionnaire together and, with a counselor, determined that you absolutely can not meet each others needs no matter how realistic you are about your efforts. When you have absorbed and begun living the advise in such books as His Needs/Her Needs, Surviving an Affair, and Love Must Be Tough. When the pro-marriage counselor working with you on saving your marriage says there is no hope.
That is when you file.
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
What if one will not go to counseling (individual or joint)?
What if one won't complete the questionairre?
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