Avondale:Am I understanding correctly that H is still in your "matrimonial home"?
Yes.
Remember, [color:"blue"] WIFTY[/color] is right - whatever is bought during the marriage is joint marital property in your state. It doesn't matter "whose money" paid for it. Unless you can show a very strong paper trail that your money came through a whole different set of circumstances (i.e., it was in a separate 'your name only' type of account that you inherited from Grandma Gertrude) your new house would be considered joint property.
Well, as a matter of fact I can show that. The downpayment - which came to me from H's refinancing - was to repay me for the original downpayment on the marital home. That money came from MY funds, and were actually protected under a prenup. There is no question where those funds came from, nor that I was getting them back so I could buy my next property.
I truly think he has forgotten (chosen to forget) that I had resources before our M and am recovering some of that now.
I hope that your H has stopped calling so much - which I'm sure might bring a whole new feeling of loss which might surprise you.
I'm sure you're right. Early this AM (around 1:00 AM) I came to the realization that I hadn't dealt with the finality of this. It is really going to happen.
So I lay in bed awake for hours. Along with that a rush of emotion - do I still love this guy? Can't be! Don't want it to be! What would I do if he changed his mind? Not because I think he will, but I wanted to know if my own position was still unchanged or if I was wavering. Decided finally I am not wavering, just grieving for what might have been, what I thought WAS, and the reality that I must let go of the dream. What is my life about now? Do I even have a purpose for existing anymore? Why bother? Isn't life meant to be shared? With nobody in my life anymore, I feel awful lonely. Now I wish I was a stronger Introvert (my Myers Briggs is INTP - but right on the line and swings to an ENTP when I'm alone too much.)
Geez - it's been a long night.
WIFTY:You are right. He doesn't know what to do and is panicking. I do believe he has unrealistic - and idealistic - ideas about how this ought to work now and is trying to force that to happen. He thinks he's right and I'll realize that if I'm a reasonable person (by his definition).
His threat to take the Internet domain met with a reply from me (as yet unanswered) asking him to declare if he is going to give it to me or not. I then said it would be a huge burden for me, but also for him because he will have to deal with all the E-Mails from my self-employment business. My intention there is if he does NOT agree to turn it over, I am going to write it off, get a new one, and move on. He will be stuck with the bill for it as well as the domain, and while it will be a hassle for me, he'll have nothing more to hold over my head. That's the plan for this week, anyway!
