Well my STBXH just hit me with a low blow.....he's defaulted on 2 loans that are joint. Now I have 2 choices, I can default as well and that puts a huge black mark on my credit rating or I can make the payments, which I can't do. I now have to sell 2 vehicles, and I have to get $20,250 for the two of them to pay off the loans. He thinks that he's off scott free because he's dumped them on me, knowing full well that I can't pay them. He's been court ordered to pay me maintenance towards the house payment, which he only did once, and now we are behind on the house and it could go into pre-forclosure, he seems pretty unconcerned. His answer to everything is to just file bankruptcy and stick me with everything. There is too many things that have to be repaired in this house to put it on the market and even if I did put it on the market we couldn't get what we owe between the 1st & 2nd mortgage. He's so happy with the fact that now he's put me in a bad spot, he knows that i don't have the income to pay all this and even though his maintenance is court ordered, he thinks that he can just not pay it because he doesn't want to. I don't want this house, I want out of it, away from it. I want to rent my own place, I've had several chances but because I'm tied to this mortgage, I can't secure an apartment. I actually had found a place that would let me keep my 3 dogs and 2 cats, and I could afford it, but because of the mortgage the land lord wouldn't rent to me.

All he has to do is refinance and get me off the mortgage, but apparently he's a much bigger man because he can just walk away.....he's certainly showed me, put the screws to me.

I want out, I'm done.....I just want to get out of this house, I don't want to file bankruptcy or default on any loans, I don't want my credit ruined, but what are my options?

Sell it out from under him - if he's under court order to pay and he hasn't, you can declare him in default - get a realtor on it right away!

I wish I could, however between what we owe on the 1st & 2nd mortgage and all the repairs that need to be done, we'd most likely come up short. I can't afford to hire someone to fix the hole in the ceiling that's been there for 4 years, I can't afford to hire someone to replace the mouldings around the living & dining room from 2 years ago when redid the floors....the moldings are laying in a heap in the living room and most are not useable because when he took them off the wall he broke them.

The amout of work that needs to be done is too much for me and without the funds to do it.....well it's not going to get done. And without these repairs made the house would not come close to being able to "break even".......I feel so stuck. He's told me before that he'd do anything to get me out of the house, I don't want the house, I want out. He can have the flipping house, just get me off the mortgage and I'll go. I'd like nothing more than to have my own place and have no more connection to him.

Even if I did try to sell it, because he's not paying me, my salary barely covers the utilities and food, I can't pay the mortgage so I'd loose the house anyhow and then my credit is ruined. I feel so trapped. I want out, that's all I want.....He's out running around with no cares because he's been lying thru his teeth to avoid paying anything, and I'm caught trying to figure out how to pay for everything on less than $1,000 a month.

Dana,

You need to talk to your Divorce atty, and if you trust him find out if he has any suggestions for a way to handle this. If he has no clue you may not have a very good one! He should be able to deal with this, he SHOULD be dealing with this.

For the immediate problem of the cars, call the finance people and explain what is going on, you'll find they may let you skip apayment or pay interest only for up to 90 days. If you skip at least you'll have another 45 days to have your atty. figure something out.

Do the same thing with the house, call the mortgage company, explain what is happening, explain the condition of the home and all circumstances surrounding the payment. The Mortgage people do not want your house, they want your cash. If they wanted houses they would be real estate agents. That will give you time to work out something that we talked about before, namely, selling the house from underneath him and sticking him with the debt. OR, gives more time to get off the mortgage..but if he is just going to let the cars go then his credit will be SH*T and he won't be able to get a mortgage!

Dana....you have to do something...get on your atty's A$$ and make the phone calls to the finance people.

C'mon...you can do it

RebornMan

I got the call from the bank about the cars friday afternoon at 4:00 so all i could do is leave a message for my attorney. We were afraid that he'd do this. No payment was made by him for May or June, so I'm already 2 months behind and I have explained this to them. As for the house, I've made a partial payment for may, but since he's not paid me for june yet, the rest of the may payment can't be caught up....I just don't have the funds to do it. I've explained all this to them, in fact I called them right after I filed for divorce to let them know what might be happening. I realize that they don't want the house or the cars, however, if I can't make the payments, what am i supposed to do? Obviously the court ordering my H to pay isn't working, he's not obeying the court order. We filed a motion for rule to show cause and of course they countered it. Rumor has it that he's already declared bankruptcy.....everything joint now falls on me, and I can't pay so my alternative seems to be bankruptcy and my credit is now ruined. I do have a good attorney, however, the court system is neither the fastest thing and obviously even if the court orders something to be paid, the party doesn't necessarily have to obey the court.

I'm frustrated, he doesn't need to declare bankruptcy, he can afford the house payment, he makes 2 1/2 times what I do. He's been order to pay maintenance, what more can either the court or the attorneys do? I have one of the best attorney's in the city and he's not dropped the ball on anything, we keep getting hit with all these small battles....can only fight one at a time. We are now stalled until 6/29/05 - my H's attorney is on vacation until then.

Can family court stop the bankruptcy? I thought that federal court and family court are two seperate entities. I feel very overwhelmed right now.

No, a family court cannot stop a bankruptcy. Federal court supercedes a circuit court.

I've been EXACTLY where you're sitting, down to contempt and show cause motions with a defaulting STBX. I mean exactly....first and second mortgage, no chance to even break even with a sale.

My attorney advised me to file Chapter 13 (restructuring) and let the mortgage company foreclose on the house. A Chapter 13 may be the way in your situation...it does not harm your credit for quite as long as a 7. However, your lenders may be more cooperative than what I was up against, my first mortgage company would not defer or accept partial payments. I was stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place...I understand how overwhelmed you feel.