Well folks I gave my wife all I had to give and she has simply continued to lie over and over again. Tonight I think that I may have to tell her to leave the house and my life forever. She came back to me telling me that she was sorry for what she did and pretending to be remorseful I now know it was all lies. All she wanted was for me to come back and put a roof over her head and pay the bills. She has started another affair with another married man. She has gone so far as to give him her second cell phone so he can call her without his wife knowing. My wife clearly has no remorse at all and never will. I give up divorce here I come............... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

There comes a point when we all have to decide when enough is enough. Sounds like you're there now. I would be too, if it's any consolation.

You're in the right place to deal with this (Divorcing Board) - good luck to you!

I just saw her car in her work parking lot. It has all of her little things in it. It would appear that she is not coming home again. I know that perhaps this should bother me but it really is a weight off of my shoulders. I went into her work and handed her my wedding band because it just has no real meaning anymore. I can't beleive she suckered me in for a second time!

Can you instead believe you are a person who is willing to give people a second chance? That's a positive, not a negative. When the day is done, those who are willing to forgive are miles ahead of those who take advantage of it.

I have had to forgive her for 6 affairs in 8 years! I have tried so hard to treat her well but her depression will not let her see the light of day. I need to move on I have grown weary of kicking this dead horse (oww! my foot hurts!). I do agree that one who will forgive is miles ahead at the end of the day but she is simply using me now. I have been able to confront and reason with one of her OM. I forgave him and we sat and talked about how badly we had been treated by her. My wife really is a terrible person to have to live with or deal with. She is never happy even when you give in to all of her demands. I have given all I can and I regret to say that I have to save myself now. I cannot stand by and be abused like this just in the off chance that she may wake up and realize that I am a good man. I know that I am a good man and I DO deserve better treatment than this! I do not mean to attack you at all DV, in fact I have found you to be very helpful in the past and your comments continue to ring true. But in the end she does not want to be married to me and there is nothing that I can do to change that. I am afraid that despite my own moral objections divorce is the only way to save myself. I never want to end up with a gun in my mouth again and it seems that this woman will not stop untill I am dead. I know that many here feel that you should do ANYTHING to save the marriage but I cannto froce her to do anything at all. She finds comfort in the arms of other men and sadly she has decided not to even try to recover "us" she just keeps telling me that there is nothing to recover and she gives up. I want a real woman not this little girl.

Ah, you misunderstand my intentions, my friend. I was not in any way suggesting you should forgive her AGAIN. Not at all. NOT AT ALL!

I was commenting because you beat yourself up for being conned by her. When we forgive, we run the risk of being conned again, but that doesn't mean we're stupid - nor does it mean we shouldn't give people a chance. It's the high road approach. You took the high road and even if it backfired, it was the noble thing to do AT THAT TIME. It was not wrong - or stupid - on your part.

You're a good man who did a good thing. I was simply making a statement about your good character for your past decision to forgive, and not about what you should do now.

Today is a new day and a different story. I'd do what you're doing now too, if I were you.

Today truly is a different day but last night was a crazy night. Way too much to drink and not enough time to recover. I still had to be at work or I would have no job so here I find myself. That girl is not worth all of this. Maybe if she was good to me this would hurt more but she treated me and her other men like dirt. I talked to one of the other men and after he said he was sorry for hurting me we went into how she treated us. After one week of her living with him he told her to get out and don't come back or call. He told me that I deserve better than her. It is really sad when her other man tells you that. In the end I know that I did what I could and she just gave up because it was hard. At least I can walk away knowing that. I guess the it is time to start figuring out how I am going to meet people and build a new life. I just hope that my next serious relationship does not do this to me. I now know that when things do start getting serious that is the time to go to the councelor not after thing have already come apart. Sadly around where I live there isn't much to do that I enjoy. Oh well, these are things that I have time to figure out so no rush.